Heart of a killer
by ozzysgirl
Summary: Nothing is more important to Happy Lowman than family. And no one knows better than Happy, that family is about more than DNA. Lacy is growing up. That little girl who treated him like a hero has gone, and in her place is five and a half feet of attitude with a deadly aim. Sequel to Lollipops and leather.
1. Chapter 1

A.N. This is a follow up story to 'Lollipops and leather.' It probably will be difficult to follow if you haven't read that first, although I am trying to recap in the first chapter so if you haven't, it isn't too confusing. If you have…. Sorry for going over old ground.

Much love xxx

I don't own sons of anarchy

HEART OF A KILLER

ONE

Mona smiled as her five year old son checked outside yet again. He was almost beside himself with excitement at the prospect of seeing his big sister again. She too, was looking forward to her daughter's visit, although this was tempered with a degree of apprehension. Despite Happy's reassurances that Lacy was settling well into her new school and seemed to be calming down, she couldn't help but worry that all those resentments would come bubbling to the surface when they saw each other. There could be no doubt that her past behaviour had damaged the relationship she had with her daughter beyond repair. Lacy loved her mom, but she would never fully trust her. Mona couldn't blame her. She hadn't been much of a mom, especially when Lacy was small, and if it hadn't been for Happy, his mom and Dee, the kid would have ended up in the system and lost to her for ever.

As she checked her reflection, she smiled. She still had her looks and appeared much younger than her forty one years. Maybe when Happy saw her he would fall in love with her all over again. His love for her was something else she managed to destroy. It was something she had taken for granted. Never once had it occurred to her that there would come a time that he wouldn't be there to pick up the pieces.

"They're here!" She smiled as Jack ran to the front door and out towards the big red truck that had pulled up outside. She may have let her daughter down, but when it came to her son, she was a perfect mommy. He was an easy kid, compliant and laid back and since sobering up, she had thrown herself into caring for him in a way she never did with Lacy.

Watching as her daughter climbed out of the truck, swept the little boy up in her arms and, followed closely by Happy, walk towards the front door, she felt her breath catch in her throat. It was a glimpse of what could've been if she hadn't have fucked it all up. She didn't know what stung more. That she'd lost Happy or that he'd taken her daughter with him.

Happy followed Lacy towards the house. He would really prefer not to have anything to do with Mona, but Lacy was her kid and it seemed right that he gave her a progress report. He stood back as she greeted her daughter then followed them into her house and stood, leaning on the kitchen counter, waiting, until they'd finished saying their hellos. Surreptitiously, he watched the woman he once loved as she fussed over her oldest child. Even after all these years, she was still stunning. Her blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders in thick waves framing that pixie like face, with those deep drown eyes and full lips that just begged to be kissed. She wore a thin cotton sundress that clung to her svelte like body, that maybe now, as middle age approached, was a little too bony. She looked up and as her eyes met his, she smiled. "Like what you see, Hap?"

He shrugged. "You always were beautiful, M. That aint changed."

She turned and stepped closer. So close that he could feel the heat from her body and smell the vanilla shampoo she always used. "You're looking pretty good yourself."

She looked at him though her thick, black lashes and ran her tongue along her top lip. Happy could feel his body starting to respond, the way it always had. He swallowed. "You need to back off, M."

"You sure that's what you want?"

With his hands on her upper arms he pushed her firmly away from him. "Yeah. It's what I want."

Lacy frowned as she watched their exchange. She couldn't let her mom jeopardise Happy's relationship with Dee. As she moved to intervene, she gave a sigh of relief as he pushed her mom away. She should have given him more credit, but monogamy had never been his strong point and her mother always had some kind of hold over him.

She had always believed that Dee and Happy belonged together and that he loved the wrong sister, so when they had finally pulled their heads out of their asses and got together she couldn't have been more pleased. But Dee wasn't like her mom, wasn't like the whores that pushed up on him on a Friday night. She deserved respect and commitment, and she worried he might let her down. His eyes met hers and he gave a tiny smile, a silent communication that he had this under control.

Mona had no idea that Happy and her sister were together. She would find out eventually and when she did, the shit was going to really hit the fan. Of that Lacy had no doubt. Her mom had never really believed things were done between her and Happy, despite the years they had spent apart. She had always thought that given the right circumstance, she could win him back again and Lacy dreaded to think of the depths she would sink to achieve her aims.

Taking her brother's hand she led him into the lounge and switched on the TV. She knew that Happy would want to talk to her mom about her and the sooner he did that, the sooner he could get out of there. He would be staying at his mom's. He hadn't seen her for ages and was keen to spend some time with her. As far as Lacy was concerned, though, the further away he was from her mom, the happier she would be.

Yvonne Lowman leaned back in her armchair, forcing herself to relax. Happy would be arriving soon and she could hardly wait to see him. Since he had been helping with the cost of her meds and paying for someone to come round to help her with housework a couple of times a week things had improved. Her back still hurt most of the time but at least now she was taking her meds regularly, she was more mobile and could climb the stairs to bed every night. She looked up as she heard the front door open and her son walked in and, bending over kissed her on the cheek. "Happy. It's so good to see you."

"Good to see you too, Ma." He sat on the sofa opposite her. "How you been?"

"Good. Better. The meds are helping a lot." She smiled. "I've made a chilli, I hope you're hungry."

"Starving." He grinned. "It's been too long. I miss your cooking."

As they sat at the table in her cosy little kitchen, Yvonne couldn't keep the smile from her face. She had long since got used to him being away for long periods, and there had been times when he drove her to distraction. But he was her life and she loved times like this, when it was just the two of them. "How's Lacy?"

"She's doing good."

Yvonne rolled her eyes. No one could ever accuse Happy of talking too much. "She still giving you a hard time?"

"Yeah. Kid's got a temper. She is getting better, sometimes we can go for whole days without her slamming doors and throwing stuff." He chuckled. "Please tell me I wasn't like that."

"Oh Happy, you were an absolute nightmare. If you weren't getting suspended from school for fighting, you were getting picked up by the cops for god knows what." She grinned. "The only reason I wasn't on the receiving end of your temper, was because you were never home."

"Then I would like to apologize. I'm sorry Ma."

"Apology accepted." She took his hand and laughed. "It wasn't all bad, and you've made it up to me a hundred times over."

"When I'm not getting arrested for fighting or god knows what."

"Well some things never change. But you're doing right by Lacy and me."

He took a deep breath. He hadn't planned on saying anything about Dee but as he sat there he felt he owed his ma the truth. Like Lacy, she had always thought they would be good together. Maybe he should listen to her more. "I got some news Ma." He grinned at her concerned expression. "Dee came to stay a while back, and, er, we kinda got together. As soon as she's worked her notice, she will be moving to Tacoma with me."

"Oh Happy, that is wonderful news." She frowned. "How did Mona take it."

"Well, that's the thing. We haven't told her."

"You can't keep it a secret for ever."

"I know. But we want a bit of breathing space. You know what she's like Ma, I don't want her taking Lacy away."

"You really think she'd do that?"

"Oh I know she would. Lacy's more settled than she's been for a long time. But M wont care about that. She'll trample all over that kid if it means she can hurt me."

Yvonne nodded, her son was right. Mona might be sober now and to all intents and purposes, had turned her life around. But she'd always hung onto the hope that her and Happy would get back together. On the rare occasion she called, he was all she wanted to talk about and there could be no doubt that finding out he was with her younger sister would bring out that vindictive streak she'd always possessed. "You're going to have to tread carefully, son."

"I know."

They ate in silence for a while until it was broken by Yvonne. "Mona mentioned that her ex had died." She looked carefully at the man sitting opposite. "You hear anything about that?"

"Yeah. Fucker killed himself."

"That's what I heard. You were away then, if I remember rightly."

"I'm often away."

"Yes you are."

"Something you wanna say, Ma?"

"No. I just remember that Dee was staying with me at the time, and how she didn't seem that surprised when she heard the news. She mentioned that he'd been arrested for have pictures of kids on his computer." Her eyes met his. "As I said before. Tread carefully, Happy. If Mona is pissed with you and puts two and two together…."

"There aint nothing to worry about. It was suicide. End of."

"Well if you're sure."

"I'm sure." He stood and walked out to the back yard where he leant on the wall and lit a cigarette. He was sure that Mona had no idea of his whereabouts when Rob met his end, and even if she had suspicions, there was no proof that he had anything to do with his death.

He turned as his mom came out to join him. She sat down with a wince on an old folding garden chair and he frowned. Despite her reassurances, she was still in a lot of pain and she seemed to be shrinking before his eyes. Happy was a fixer. He put things right. But he couldn't fix this. His mom was getting old and there was nothing he could do about it.

Seeing his expression, she smiled. "I really am okay, son."

"Would you tell me if you wasn't?"

"Of course."

"You're a lousy liar, Ma."

She grinned and, closing her eyes, raised her face towards the sun, enjoying it's warming rays. "So how's Tacoma?"

"Good. Cold, but good." He looked out over the barren plot, that was her back yard. "Lacy got the chance to meet her father."

"Oh. Wow! I didn't know you knew who he was." She glanced at him as he shrugged. "How did it go?"

"Okay, I guess. Lacy has a lot of anger there, but Kozic…."

"Kozic? Herman Kozic? But he's…"

"My brother and my best friend. Yeah I know."

"Oh son. That must've hurt. How did you find out?"

"Did the math. She looks like him, I dunno, Ma. I had my suspicions so I confronted him and he confirmed it. He slept with my woman, so yeah. It hurt, betrayal always does. But me and Mona weren't together at the time and Lacy was the result." He shrugged. "I stopped being angry a long time ago. And who her real dad is, don't change nothing. We might not have the same DNA, but Lacy is my kid. Always has been, always will be."


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWO

It would take fourteen hours to get from Bakersfield to Tacoma in his truck. If he had been alone, Happy would have done it in one hit, stopping only for food, coffee and gas. As he was travelling with Lacy, however, it seemed prudent to split the journey over two days. While it was true it would be easier on her than if they were on his bike, there was still no way he could be persuaded to spend such a long period of time trapped with her in his truck. As it was, after only four hours, she was whining that she was bored and bitching about his choice of music, as if it was somehow his fault that she had lost her i pod.

She had been living with him for nine months now, and in that time Happy had discovered hidden reserves of patience that he had no idea he possessed. He loved the skinny teenager that was currently pouting in the passenger seat next to him, but there had been times when he had come dangerously close to losing his shit with her.

It didn't help that in the last six months, he had only seen Dee once. Work commitments had meant that she couldn't move to Tacoma as quickly as they would have liked and, although they spoke practically every day, Happy was struggling with the concept of monogamy in a long distance relationship. He was doing pretty well, even if the muscles in his right arm were now twice as big as in his left, but if he didn't get laid soon, he swore he would explode.

"C'mon Hap. Please can we stop. I need to pee."

"You should've gone when I stopped for gas."

"I didn't need to go then. I'm hungry too."

Happy rolled his eyes. Despite her appearance, Lacy ate like a horse. He had no idea where she put it all, but ever since she was tiny, she'd always had a healthy appetite. "Okay, there's a truck stop up the road, we can stop there."

"I aint peeing in a truck stop."

"Well it's there or nowhere, sugar."

"It's alright for you. You don't have to sit down. Those places are disgusting."

"You'll have to go in the bushes then. This is the only stop for miles."

"We're only five miles from Sacramento. Why can't we get something to eat there."

"If we do, will you shut the fuck up?"

"I promise."

"Fine, but it's gonna put at least another half hour on our journey."

Something else Happy was learning, was compromise. They would butt heads on a regular basis and nine times out of ten, he wouldn't budge. But every so often, like when he was trapped in a truck with her, it made sense to let her have her own way.

The diner was small and the food was delicious. Lacy watched as the man she considered to be her dad tore into his chicken. She may have told him that she hated him on an almost daily basis, and wasn't above throwing the occasional 'you're not my dad' barb in his direction. But the truth was, even when he was driving her nuts, she adored him. She grinned. "Thanks Hap. You're the best."

"I know, sugar."

"Modest too."

"Yep. You done?" He was keen to get back on the road. The motel he planned on staying in was another four hours away and he was eager to get started.

"Yeah, ready when you are." As they left the building, she slipped her arm through his. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar."

"Can I change the station on the radio?"

"Absolutely not."

"But it's old man music."

"That's cos I'm an old man, sugar."

"True." She grinned and nudged him. "Don't worry, Hap. I'll take care of you in your old age."

"God help me." He climbed into the truck. "C'mon, sugar shake that skinny ass."

* * *

The relief as happy opened the door of his apartment was palpable. For three hours they hadn't spoken after their latest argument had run out of steam. Lacy pushed past him and storming into her room, collapsed on the bed with a sigh. The term argument implied a two way thing. But of course, arguments with Happy were different. He had caught her using his pre pay. That phone was for club shit only, not long conversations with her friends about their latest object of desire. As he had confiscated her own phone again after she'd run up massive bills on it, she felt what she had done wasn't unreasonable. He, of course felt differently. As she had used up all the credit on the phone, he wouldn't be giving her any cash to go bowling with her friends at the weekend. She had tried everything, yelling, crying and sulking. Deep down she knew she was wasting her time. She'd been caught out and was going to have to suck it up. Didn't stop her trying though. Shit. She'd really wanted to go bowling. She sighed and closed her eyes. Maybe all was not lost, she had three days till the weekend, if she really, really grovelled, he might cave. She opened her eyes as he knocked and walked in. "I'm going to the clubhouse, I wont be long. I'll pick up a take out on my way home."

"Okay. Can we have Chinese?"

"Sure." He smiled and turned to leave. "I'd appreciate it if you could load the washing machine." He had already decided she would be able to go out with her friends at the weekend, but he wasn't going to tell her that. She would be trying to win him over for the next three days, so he may as well take advantage.

* * *

Every where she looked were cardboard boxes. Shit, how was it possible to have so much stuff? Dee slumped on her sofa and ran her fingers through her hair. At least that was all of them packed and ready to go into storage. Friday would be her last day at work and on Sunday she would be living in Tacoma.

They had agreed that they would need to find a bigger place. Happy's apartment was really only designed for one and as it was, Lacy's room was tiny. In the short term, though, his place would suffice. Dee grinned. She would be happy to live in one of those boxes, if it meant they could all be together.

Happy checked the ID on his cell and grinned. "Hey darling. You all packed?"

"Yeah. I have so much stuff, Hap."

"You planning on cluttering my place up with all your crap?"

"No. I'm planning on cluttering OUR place up with all my crap."

Happy's grin got wider. He had always believed that he wasn't cut out to be a family man, but now he couldn't wait. For all those years he had only ever seen that astonishing woman as a kid sister. How could he ever have been so blind? Not only was she beautiful, she was smarter than anyone he knew and more compassionate. He had lost count of how many times she had dropped everything to take care of her family. Despite this, and her less than auspicious start in life, she managed to get herself a proper education and a career. All without the help of anyone.

"So what time does your flight get in?"

"About four. I can't wait to see you."

"I can't wait to see you either. I've got a serious case of blue balls."

"Too much information, Hap. Don't worry as soon as I get to Tacoma it's something you'll never experience again."

"Good to hear. I'm sorry, darling I'm gonna have to go. Gotta talk to Lorca. I'll see you on Sunday."

"Sure baby. Take care." Dee hung up with a smile. Happy had told her time and time again that she was too good for him, that she deserved better, but he couldn't be more wrong. Their backgrounds were similar, although his mom wasn't a junkie, neither had a father, and money was always tight. They had taken different paths of course, but even if she hadn't got together with Happy, she would have probably quit her job. She had been restless for a while and wanted something more meaningful than putting together legal documents and running around after the senior partners. Her friends and colleagues had laughed and shook their heads when she'd tried to explain to them, that all she really wanted was a family.

Lorca was already in church when Happy walked into the clubhouse. Barely acknowledging his brothers, he stalked through the building and took his usual seat next to his VP. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yeah. Got a job for ya." He grinned. "It's got your name written all over it. Need you to weed out a rat."

"Where?"

"Salt Lake. How well do you know that charter?"

"Not well. I met the prez a couple of times on runs."

"Well you must have made an impression, cos he asked for you personally."

"Okay. Do you have any details?"

"Only the basics. The charter is usually pretty quiet, tends to fly under the radar. They run a junk yard on the edge of town and have been dealing in stolen auto parts for years, usually top end stuff for the luxury car market. Just recently though, they've been taking a few hits. Couple of trucks got hijacked, then last week they got a visit from the local PD. Obviously that's not so unusual and nothing was found, but normally they'd get a heads up from their tame pig. This time though, he had no clue a bust was going down."

"So where do I come in?"

"There's been a lot of internal shit going on for a few months. To start with King, the prez, put it down to a bit of posturing. The VP and SAA have had beefs in the past, but managed to get past it. But now it's looking like the VP might be looking to break away. King isn't a young man but he does have the backing of his charter. The only way he'd lose their support would be if they thought he no longer had control of his shit."

"He thinks his VP is trying to undermine him? That's a dangerous game, and a big accusation to make."

"Yeah. You're right on both counts. King wants someone with no links to the charter to sniff around. He needs evidence before he acts."

"Shit, that needs someone with a more subtle approach than mine."

"Which is why Kozic is going with you." Happy nodded. Kozic was a good choice. He had an open and friendly demeanour that belied a ruthless streak. People often underestimated him, despite his SAA patch. Between the two of them they should be able to get any information they needed.

"Okay. When do we leave?"

"Monday." Lorca grinned. "I know you got the kid, but my old lady will keep an eye on her."

"Nah it's okay, Yaz has got enough on her plate with your brood, I got it covered."

Monday. Shit! Dee was arriving on Sunday, and he was taking off the next day. Despite the fact that he felt like a complete asshole for dumping her like that, it never once occurred to Happy to refuse. He just hoped Dee would understand that his club needed him and he wasn't prepared to let it down.

Walking out side, he Pulled out his cell and dialled her number. "Hey darling."

"Hap. Wow two calls in less than an hour, I'm honoured."

"You wont think that when you've heard what I'm gonna tell you."

Dee hung up with a sigh. She knew that this was his life. Shit, she'd listened to Mona and Yvonne bitch about it enough, but she hadn't expected him to take off as soon as she arrived. She had reassured him that she would be fine, and that it wasn't a problem. And, truthfully it wasn't. In the last six months, they'd done a lot of talking and she knew exactly what being his old lady entailed. Thay'd discussed everything from whether or not she would wear his mark (maybe in the future), to how she wouldn't accept him cheating on her under any circumstances and how he didn't believe in the prison clause. At least they got to spend one night together before he went away. She grinned. They'd just have to make that one night count.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own sons of anarchy

THREE

Happy had never been big on public displays of affection. The only exception to this rule was Lacy. And now it seemed her aunt was joining this very exclusive club. Standing in the airport surrounded by families with screaming kids, business types in suits and the usual flotsam and jetsam that passed through airports every day, all he was aware of was the woman in his arms. He buried his face in her hair, breathing in her scent and shifting uncomfortably as her body pressed against his. "Shit, girl. I'm gonna have to get you home. If I we stay like this any longer, I'll come in my pants."

Reluctantly, they pulled apart and he led her, by the hand, to his truck.

"Shit." Happy's jaw clenched as he stopped at yet another red light. It was beginning to feel like the whole world was conspiring to keep them apart. He'd got it all planned. Lacy was staying at her friends and they had a whole night, just the two of them before they were separated again. He was going to fuck her until neither of them could stand. That was, of course, if they ever got home.

Dee grinned as he cursed the driver in front for driving too slow. "Relax Hap. I'd really like to get home in one piece."

"I'm sorry. But I've waited so long. And now this asshole is keeping me from fucking you. Move your ass! Jesus!" She reached out and touched his thigh and he forced himself to relax. "You have no idea the things I have planned for you."

"Reckon I do." She grinned. The majority of their phone calls had started with 'what are you wearing?' And in the short time they had been together Happy had taught her so many things, not just about what he liked, but about her own body too. He was like an expert on erogenous zones and loved nothing more than turning her on. Briefly she wondered if it was his skills in inflicting pain that meant he also knew just how to give pleasure. She squirreled that question away till a later date. She knew what he did, but had no intention on dwelling on it.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, they were home. Dee was barely over the threshold, when he pounced. She gasped as he slammed her up against the wall, tearing at her clothes, his mouth on hers. Unceremoniously, he pulled down his jeans and thrust inside her. Later they would take their time to rediscover each other, but this was about months of pent up frustration. There was no finesse, it was fast and almost brutal. With her legs wrapped around his waist and his fingers bruising her ass cheeks, Dee felt her orgasm building. She dug her nails into the back of his neck as the heat coursed through her body and cried out as she climaxed, Happy following closely behind, unable to hold back any longer.

Shakily they pulled apart. Happy frowned, tears were streaming down Dee's cheeks. "Shit, baby, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No, no. I'm fine." She smiled and rubbed at her cheeks. "Better than fine. I'm…Wow. Shit, Hap." Unable to find the words, she reached up and kissed him.

"So why you crying?" Happy pulled away, terrified he'd done something wrong.

Dee laughed. "I'm not sure. Cos I'm happy and that was the best fuck I've ever had."

"That's just weird." He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. "How 'bout we see if we can't top it in round two."

* * *

Happy reluctantly opened his eyes. The weak morning sun told him he couldn't stay in bed any longer. He had a day's ride ahead of him and he and Kozic had decided to make an early start. Wincing, he slowly dragged himself out of bed and headed for the shower. Somewhere, around round four he had pulled a muscle in his back which was going to make the next twelve hours or so unpleasant to say the least. He gave a rueful grin, somehow he couldn't bring himself to regret it. She was insatiable. As hungry for him as he was for her. He glanced at the woman still sleeping deeply, a small smile playing on her lips. He had never regretted anything he had done for the club. As a soldier he had always gone where he was sent and done as he was asked without question, but right now he really wished he had said 'no.' He shook his head. Who was he kidding? The club would always come first with him.

When he returned from his shower, feeling marginally less beat up, the bed was empty and a delicious smell of bacon was emanating from the kitchen. He followed the smell and found Dee dressed in nothing but his reaper tee shirt, cooking bacon and eggs. he stalked over and kissed her neck. "Hey baby. You didn't have to do this."

"I know." She turned and kissed him. "But I can't let you go out with an empty stomach." Happy deepened the kiss, causing her to moan. "Hap, you're going have to stop or the bacon will burn." She pushed him away, somewhat reluctantly, and turned back to his breakfast, giving him a view of her ass. He grinned. She was perfect from every angle.

Dee leant on the door frame and watched as he pulled away. It wasn't quite the early start Happy had planned. Their goodbye fuck had turned into two and it was only the constant ringing of his cell that had prevented a third. Kozic was clearly getting impatient. As soon as he disappeared she turned and walked back into the empty apartment.

* * *

'Lacy.

While I'm away, help Dee around the place. Do not skip school, do your homework and do not fuck your aunt around. If I get home and find out you have been giving her shit. I will ground your skinny ass till you are 18.

I'll see you in a couple of weeks.

Love Happy. Xx'

Rolling her eyes, Lacy screwed up the note he'd left on the table and threw it in the general direction of the bin. Fucking Happy, even managed to give her a hard time when he wasn't there. Dee looked up from the pastry she was rolling. "You going to pick that up, sweetheart?"

With a huge sigh, Lacy picked up the note and dropped it into the bin. Maybe Dee wasn't going to be the pushover she thought she would be. Gritting her teeth she smiled at her aunt. "Dee, can I go to Paulie's tonight?"

"Sorry sweetheart. Hap was quite clear, you're not going out on a school night."

"But..."

" No buts. You know the rules, Lacy. If you'd done your homework, you wouldn't be on report and you wouldn't be grounded."

"Yeah, yeah." How many times did she have to hear this shit. Lacy stuck out her bottom lip. "So how long am I grounded this time?"

"Until I decide you're not."

"That is so unfair."

"No, Lacy. Unfair would be grounding you at the weekends. Of course if you keep on giving me shit…"

"Fine. Whatever." Lacy flounced out of the kitchen and slammed the door.

Dee smiled and finished her pie. Happy had warned her that Lacy would try to push her buttons, and to be honest she didn't expect anything less. She knew Happy was worried that she wouldn't cope. But after spending a lifetime dealing with, first her mother, then her sister. Lacy would be a walk in the park. As soon as the pie was in the oven she knocked on Lacy's door and walked into her room. Her niece was laying on her bed, texting her friend. "Lacy, I know you're pissed. But you're really not helping your cause here."

"Oh, so I'm supposed to be okay with getting grounded yet again, am I?"

"No sweetheart. But maybe you should ask yourself why it keeps happening. Are you struggling at school? Because if you are, I'm happy to talk to your teacher."

"No. I just forgot to do my homework and Miss Jones is a bitch."

"Because she put you on report?"

"Yeah, she's always bitching at me. 'Lacy, stop talking. Lacy why are you late. Lacy this isn't good enough.' None of the other teachers have a problem with me, but she's on my case all the time."

"Can't imagine why." Dee chuckled. "How about you try turning up on time, not talking and actually doing some work."

"Oh sure take her side. You're as bad as Hap."

"Oh I think you'll find I'm much worse than he is. You'll never be able to wrap me round your little finger like you do with him."

"Ha! That's a joke! I never get my own way with him. It's like arguing with a rock." Lacy knew this wasn't entirely true, and although he would punish her when she overstepped the mark, she actually got away with a lot. Certainly not many kids got away with talking to their parents like she talked to him. She got the distinct impression, though, that if she disrespected Dee in any way, he'd come down on her like a ton of bricks.

* * *

From the moment he arrived, Happy made up his mind that he didn't like the Salt Lake charter. It seemed to him that they'd had it too easy for too long and had grown lazy and complacent. Security within the clubhouse was lax and they were actually storing guns inside. At the junk yard too, little was being done to hide the illegal activities that were taking place there.

He and Kozic were there under the premise that they were looking to patch into a new charter. This way they could hang around for a few days and ask questions that would otherwise seem a little suspicious. Only King, the president, knew the real reason for their visit. Kozic immediately, threw himself into the role, bouncing around the clubhouse like a rubber ball, chatting to members and hangarounds alike. In a short time he was gaining everyone's trust and it wouldn't be long before he'd know all about allegiances and rivalries within the clubhouse and beyond.

Happy's approach, however, was different. He was friendly enough when approached, but he remained aloof and it soon became clear that he preferred to be left alone. From his place at the end of the bar he could see the entire room and, quietly and unobtrusively, he watched and he listened as the people around him gave up their secrets without even knowing it. His glass of JD had remained untouched all night, he wanted to keep his wits about him. He could feel in his gut there was an undercurrent about the place, something corrupt and rotten was permeating the very walls. He could smell it. And it was only a matter of time till he located it's source.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own sons of anarchy

FOUR

There could be no doubt in Kozic's mind that the man standing next to him was a slimy piece of work. Spike Dixon had been VP at Salt Lake for the past five years and he was making no secret of his desire to take the gavel. In his mind having two new patches in his corner could provide him with a step closer to achieving his ambition and he was wasting no time in trying to get the Tacoma sons on side.

Despite the fact that the asshole was making his skin crawl, Kozic had spent the last hour listening to him pontificate about why the club should not be dealing with the Grim Bastards or anyone of colour. Or brag about how he'd put his bitch of an old lady in her place. He gritted his teeth and kept his opinions to himself. Dixon wasn't the first son to be racist, nor was he the first to smack his woman around. He didn't like it, though. Not one little bit. He was no angel and certainly, when it came to women, he wasn't always respectful. But he considered men who beat women to be cowards, and he'd never had an issue with race. It wasn't a moral thing with him. As far as he was concerned assholes came in all colours. He risked a glance to his left, to where Happy leaned on the bar, listening to everything Dixon said. They would discuss this later. Just because the guy was an asshole didn't mean he was a rat, and Kozic felt that the guy was a little too open in his wanting a change in regime. It may not be good for the charter to have such dissent within it's ranks, but it wasn't unheard of.

Like his brother, he was getting a bad feeling about this place. He didn't pretend to be as perceptive as Happy, few people were, but there seemed to be a lack of trust amongst the patches and if you couldn't trust your brothers, you were lost.

"So what d'ya think bro?" Kozic passed his joint to Happy. They were leaning on the wall enjoying warm evening air. "There's something not right here."

Happy shrugged. "Don't think the VP is the rat. Guy's an asshole and he's hungry for the gavel, but he's got the SAA and the prez watching him like a hawk. Reckon he would have slipped up by now."

"Gotta say I agree with you. As much as I'd like it to be that douche, I don't think he's our man." He chewed on his thumbnail. "So if it's not him. Who is it?"

Again, Happy shrugged. "Call Charming, get Juice to run background checks on all the patches."

"Juice?"

"The new patch. Kid's a bit of an idiot, but what he don't know 'bout computers, aint worth knowing."

"What are we looking for?"

"To tell the truth, I aint sure. Just keep getting the feeling that I'm missing something. I want to know about any allegiances outside the club. The last time any of the patches did a bid. Everything." He took a huge drag on the joint and looked out across the lot. "This aint about power. It's about money. This is a rich charter and someone wants a piece." Pushing himself away from the wall, he stalked towards his bike. "Gonna take a ride. I'll see you later."

He only rode for a few minutes. It didn't take long before his head started to clear. It appeared to him that this was a charter with no future, it seemed that rather than doing what was best for the club as a whole and looking out for each other, his Salt Lake brothers were using the club for their own ends. Any one of them would be prepared to stab the other in the back to get what they wanted. Happy felt his jaw clench. This was not what the sons were about. He pulled out his cell and dialed.

"Hap. What d'ya need?" Quinn walked to a quieter part of the Tucson clubhouse to continue his conversation.

"What do you know about Salt Lake?"

"It's full of Mormons."

"Funny fucker."

Quinn chuckled. "That I am. What exactly do you need to know?"

"Not sure. Got a feeling. Tell me about King."

Suddenly all was serious, the nomad president knew all about Happy's 'feelings.' "Clinging on to the gavel by his fingertips. There aint no way that tenacious fucker will stand down without a fight."

"You think he should?"

"Rather him than that slimy fuck of a VP. King was a good man, back in the day, but he's getting old and I aint sure he's got the eye on the ball anymore. He relying more and more on his SAA to keep order." He frowned. "This feeling, Hap. You gonna explain?"

"King thinks there's a rat. Charter's took a couple of hits. Looks like the information came from inside."

"And what do you think?"

"Oh there's a rat alright."

"Any ideas who?"

"No. That's the problem. King thinks it's Dixon but I'm not so sure. I don't like the piece of shit, and I certainly don't trust him. But he wants to lead a charter that's earning, it aint in his interests to jeopardize that."

"So if not him. Who?"

"Shit man, it could be any of 'em." Happy rubbed at the headache that was developing between his eyes. "I guess I gotta keep on digging."

"You there on your own?"

"Nah Koz is with me."

"You okay with that?" Quinn was the only one of his brothers who knew that Kozic was Lacy's father.

"Yeah. Got no beef with Koz."

Quinn grinned. Happy never was one to hold a grudge, and Kozic did have a knack of getting people to talk. "Tell him to talk to Boots."

"The SAA?"

"Yeah. If King goes, he goes too, I don't see a place at the table for him if Dixon takes the gavel."

"Okay I'll tell Kozic. Thanks for your input, bro. appreciate it."

"Any time. Oh and give Tig a call. He knows King from way back. He probably wont have anything for you, but you never know."

"Yeah I will, thanks man. Later."

He hung up, lit a cigarette and pressed dial again. "Hey, darling."

Dee grinned. "Hey. How's it going?"

"Like shit."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Aint much to say." He sighed. "I could be here a while. Trying to find this rat is like looking for a needle in a haystack. I'm sorry Dee. You deserve better."

"Hap, please. We've gone over this so many times. I don't like you being away, but I accept it. All I ask is that you come back to me, whole."

"Shit, girl. Where you been all my life?"

"Right under your nose."

"Oh yeah. I'm a dumb fucker aint I?"

"Yeah. But I love you anyway."

"So. What you wearing?"

* * *

The next morning found Kozic and Happy sitting outside the office at the gates of the junkyard. Kozic leaned across the handlebars. "So who's this guy we're supposed to meet?"

"They call him Hook, for obvious reasons. According to Tig, he's an old buddy of King's. They both served together till he lost his arm in Cambodia. When King got out, he gave him a job managing this place and he's been here ever since."

"Tig know him?"

"Not well, But he reckons he's loyal to King, and could be a good source of information."

"You want me to do the talking?"

"Talking's what you do best, bro. It's getting you to shut the fuck up that's difficult." Giving his brother the finger, Kozic led the way towards the office.

Marcus 'Hook' Jenson leaned back behind his desk. "Something I can do for you fellas?" King had called him and warned him they were coming. He was well aware of his oldest friend's paranoia, and could well understand it. Right now he didn't trust anyone wearing a reaper.

Kozic grinned and sat opposite him, running his hand through his short spiky hair. "King tell you why we're here?"

"Yeah. Said you were on a rat hunt."

"Something like that. I need you to tell me about these hijacks. You must have some theories."

"I got a few." He glanced up at the silent, tattooed biker, leaning on the door and decided that being co-operative was probably a really, really good idea.

Happy folded his arms and scrutinized the man behind the desk. Strangely the most noticeable thing about him wasn't that his left hand had been replaced with a hook. He was thin to the point of being emaciated and had iron grey hair that was slicked back away from his face. But it was his eyes that drew the attention. They were bright green, almost glowing in the dim light of the office and were never still. This was a man who missed nothing. He stood up straighter. "You gonna share?"

Hook took a deep breath. "I aint keen on naming names. And you gotta understand I don't actually know anything."

"But you got suspicions." Kozic butted in.

He nodded. "King thinks Dixon's involved, but I aint so sure. He don't have much to with the running of this place and, yeah he probably knows the routes the trucks use, but he never takes part in the protection runs. I reckon you should be looking closer to King."

"Boots?"

"I didn't say that." He shrugged. "Just before the first hijack I took on a young kid to help out round the yard. I don't like taking on new people but Boots vouched for him and he seemed keen enough."

"You think he was passing on information?"

"I could be wrong, but when I said that I thought that whoever did this got inside information, he disappeared. Never saw him again."

"You got a name, address?"

Hook nodded and wrote it down on a scrap of paper. "Reckon he might not be living there now. But you might get lucky."

"Thanks." Kozic took the note and passed it to Happy. "You said Boots vouched for him. Any idea how he knew him?"

"He said he was the son of a buddy. I just took him at his word."

"You had no reason not to. How involved is Boots in this place?"

Hook looked up, surprised when Happy spoke up. "Aint often you see a patch here. As far as the general population is concerned this place has no connection to the sons. They put up the cash, deal with the suppliers and escort the trucks but they don't involve themselves with this place."

Happy frowned. "These protection runs? They wear colours?"

"No."

"So this isn't about someone trying to hurt the club."

"No, this is about money. There's thousands of dollar's worth of car parts on those trucks."

Kozic stood up. "Thanks, you've been a great help."

* * *

"You sure about this Hap?" They were sitting on their bikes a short distance from the address they'd been given.

"No. But it's all we got. I was kinda hoping it was a rival club looking to muscle in on the action. But whoever's behind this is looking to make money and nothing else."

"And the cops raiding the place?"

"No cars were found right?"

"No. Where you going with this, Hap?"

"Reckon someone wanted to make 'em nervous. King said they were expecting a delivery of cars the next day. Had to change their plans. Broke 'em and shipped 'em out in record time."

"Don't tell me that shipment got hit too."

"Yeah, whoever is behind this is greedy but they don't want take the club down."

"And you think that someone is Boots?"

Happy shrugged. "According to Quinn, He'll be lucky to keep his place at the table if Dixon takes the gavel. Maybe it's a pension plan."

"You think Dixon would have enough support to vote him out."

"Boots thinks he would."

Kozic sighed and dismounted. "I don't like this Hap. Salt lake should be dealing with their own shit."

"I don't like it either, bro. As soon as we get the evidence, we'll give it to King and get outta here."

They walked slowly up the road towards the rundown house. To the casual observer they looked relaxed and unconcerned. The reality, however was different. Both were on high alert, fully aware of their surroundings. They had no idea what they were walking into, but they did know they were dealing with a fractured charter on the brink of civil war and if they weren't careful they were going to get caught in the cross fire.


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own sons of anarchy

AN. I have decided to split this instalment into two parts. I'm getting a bit bogged down with it, but at least this way I get to post something. Hopefully part two will be up soon.

* * *

FIVE

The feeling of trepidation grew the closer they got to the house. Happy couldn't shake the feeling that something was not right here. The place looked empty, the curtains were closed and there was no light inside. He looked over to his companion who looked as on edge as he felt. "Gonna take a look round the back. Don't look like anyone's been around for a while."

Kozic nodded. "Fucker must've known someone would come looking." He watched as Happy made his way stealthily around the back. This whole business felt wrong. The deeper they dug, the more it felt like this was about more than just flushing out a rat. He was beginning to think Happy's theory about it being only about the money was wrong. To him, this felt personal. Somebody wanted to hurt the club. Or someone in it.

"Koz! Get over here."

Running around the back, he followed Happy through the open door, gagging as the stench hit him. "Jesus." With his hand over his mouth he prodded the blackened and bloated corpse with his toe. "I guess somebody else thought we'd come looking too."

Happy stared at the body. "I'm gonna take a look around. I doubt I'll find anything useful, but you never know. Call Juice, get him to check out this guy. He must have been passing information to someone. Kozic nodded and ran outside sucking in clean, sweet air as he pulled out his cell and called Charming.

Happy slowly made his way through the darkened house, hoping to find something, anything that would show just who this, now dead, asshole had been working with. It came as no real surprise when he came up with nothing. Whoever had gone to the trouble of killing him was hardly likely to leave evidence laying around. He turned to leave and in his rush to escape the stench that he knew would cling to him for hours, almost missed the scrap of paper clutched in the corpse's hand. Grimacing, he prised the note from the rotting fingers and headed outside. "Think I might have something." He unfolded the note, praying it wasn't a shopping list, and gave a sigh of relief when it revealed a phone number. Resisting the urge to call it, he turned to Kozic. "Call juice back. Get him to run this number. This could be the opening we are looking for."

Neither man had any desire to return to the clubhouse, but Kozic needed to talk to Boots and Happy really wanted a shower. Although they were reasonably confident that their cover story was holding up, there could be no doubt that some of the patches were suspicious and seemed reluctant to talk to them. As far as Kozic was concerned this was conformation that this was about more than just one son going rogue, and Happy was inclined to agree with him. After finishing his shower he strutted through the clubhouse in search of King, the conversation he'd just had with Juice resounding in his head.

King was sitting alone, nursing a beer watching with half an eye as a red head that had seen better days spun half heartedly around a pole. He looked up as Happy approached. "You wanna talk to me?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." The Salt Lake president led him toward the chapel. "We wont be disturbed." They sat down, King at the head of the table, Happy took the seat usually reserved for the SOA. King looked up and gave a grim smile. "What do you know?"

"Got some questions for you first." Happy watched as the man next to him shifted in his seat. He may have been old, way past his prime, but he wasn't stupid. "Why am I here King?"

"You know why. I need you to check out Dixon."

"Dixon's not your rat. But I you knew that didn't you? You underestimated me, King."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You thought you could get me to do your dirty work for you. That I wouldn't question you about Dixon's involvement in the hijacks." He smiled. "Aint how I work, King. This is why I brought Kozic with me. Aint no way I'm gonna take down a brother unless I'm satisfied he deserves it."

"You got something to say. Just say it." King sat up straighter, a scowl fixed on his face.

"You told Lee you had the backing of this charter. That aint entirely true, is it? In fact just recently you were only one vote away from losing the gavel. You know your days are numbered and that Dixon will take the gavel." Happy shrugged. "Now I can see why you don't want it to be him, and I'm curious as to why you'd name him VP in the first place, but I'm sure with a bit more digging I'll find out. I do know though, that you tried to set him up. Planting evidence on that dead kid was a nice touch."

"I don't have to listen to this bullshit." King stood up.

"No you don't. Just thought I'd give you the opportunity to explain yourself before the mother charter arrives."

"You called Clay?"

"Oh yes I did. They should be here by tomorrow evening." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. "Can't let this charter deal with it's own shit. Don't know who I can trust. Of course I'll be more than happy to help Clay get to the truth."

King slumped across the table. Happy was right, he'd underestimated him. He had known his days at the gavel were numbered and there was no way he would sit by and let that asshole take over. When he staged the first hijack, it was just a way of raising some cash for him and Boots, a pension plan. It was only later that they realized that this was a perfect opportunity to get rid of Dixon.

It had been Boots' idea to bring in Happy. He knew of his reputation as an assassin, and his unquestioning loyalty. They hadn't expected him to turn up with Kozic, and rather than taking the charter president's word and maybe asking a few perfunctory questions of the SAA, they had started poking around. He had known that they would get to the truth sooner or later and when they had decided to talk to Hook, he knew they were in trouble. The junk yard manager had spoken to him on more one occasion of his suspicions about Boots, his loyalty was the only thing stopping him from seeing King's involvement.

Planting Dixon's number in the hand of that poor kid was a desperate act. They'd been sloppy there. Should have killed him away from the house, or at least removed the body. But he'd started freaking out when Hook had voiced his suspicions and Boots had needed to shut him up quick.

He looked up and his eyes met Happy's. "What happens if I try to run?"

"I'll kill you. I'd rather this was done properly, give you the chance to defend yourself in front of your brothers. But I don't think me killing you would cause much of a shit storm." He stood up and grinned. "And of course, I love a good hunt. Shit I might even be tempted to give you a head start."

Kozic stood and followed his brother as he walked outside. "You speak to King?"

"Yeah."

"He try to deny it?"

"Nope, not really."

"Shit, what a fucking mess. How the Hell did it come to this?"

"Lost sight of what it means to be a son."

"Boots tried to pin it all on King till I pointed out that I knew that the dead kid was his old lady's nephew." He shook his head. "His own fucking family. That's fucked up"

Happy leaned against the wall and said nothing. This whole thing had left a bad taste in his mouth. Not only had the president and SAA stolen from the club and embroiled God knows who else, in their schemes, but they had set up the VP and tried to get him to do their dirty work for them. He pulled out his cell and walked across the lot.

"Hey darling."

"Hey." He could hear the smile in voice. "Is everything okay?"

"It is now I've heard your voice."

"Aw, Hap. You say the sweetest things."

"You making fun of me, girl?"

"Only a little."

"Thought so, guess I'm gonna have to put you in your place when I get home."

"Oooh! Can't wait." She giggled. "Any idea when that will be?"

"Not sure. Soon, I hope. How's Lacy?"

"Moody."

"Same old, then."

"Yeah. Same old. So. Want to know what I'm wearing?"

He hadn't been bullshitting when he said that hearing her voice made him feel better. All of a sudden, none of this mattered any more. True it killed him to see his brothers turn on one another, and when he found which one of them had ratted to the cops, he would gladly end their life. But what was really important to him was his family, his brothers back in Tacoma, his ma, Lacy, Dee, As long as he had them, everything would be fine.

* * *

Happy could feel the hate radiate off the Salt Lake sons as he followed Clay and the Redwood sons through the clubhouse. It was clear that at least half their number held him and Kozic responsible for what had gone down. Despite his warning, both Boots and King had taken off at the first opportunity. Happy didn't care, they would hunt them down.

Clay had already called Quinn, and every nomad would be looking out for them. There really was no hiding place.

As far as he was concerned, his work was done. They still didn't know who had ratted to the police, not only about the car parts but also the guy they had on the inside. But further questioning from Clay had resulted in the secretary admitting his involvement and giving up the whereabouts of the stolen parts. Slowly the details of the whole sorry saga was coming to light and Happy doubted that the charter would survive. Leaning on the bar, he lit a cigarette and looked around him, grinning as Tig wandered over to join him.

"Well that'll be the last time anyone asks you to flush out a rat. I guess they reckoned you for some dumb fuck that wouldn't ask too many questions."

"I still don't get why they needed me to take down Dixon, or how he got to be VP in the first place."

"Good old fashioned blackmail. Dixon caught him fucking a brother's old lady. The old VP had stood down and King gave him the job. Hadn't reckoned with his ambition though, fucker was snapping at his heels, threatening to take what he knew to the club. He needed to get rid of him and by bringing you in he kept his hands clean. Any comeback would fall on you."

Happy nodded. Plenty of charters would call on him to do those unpleasant jobs that no one else wanted to touch. Not everyone was cut out for killing and torture and there would always be a role in the sons for someone like him. "So what happens now?"

"That's up to Clay. Charter's lost it's prez, SAA and secretary. But if anyone can save it Clay can. How 'bout you? You gonna stick around."

"Nah, the sooner I get out of this shit hole, the better." He grinned. "Got my family waiting for me."

"What about King and Boots? They can't be allowed to get away with this."

"If Clay wants me to go find them, I will."

"You know he will. You're like a bloodhound, Hap." It was true. Happy suppressed a sigh. He had been known to spend weeks, months even, tracking down those wanted by the club. He wasn't the best, Quinn and a few of the other nomads would literally leave no stone unturned when it came to hunting down rats, but he was good. And despite his desire to go home to his woman and his kid, the club would come first.

* * *

Lacy looked up as Dee closed her cell. "Hap say when he's coming home?"

"No." She couldn't keep the disappointment from her voice. "Soon I hope."

"It's always like this. Him disappearing for weeks on end. It used to drive mom nuts, Nana Von too."

"I know, Lacy. I miss him and I wish he was here. But he will come home to us as soon as he can."

"Don't you worry?" Lacy hadn't slept properly since he went away. It had come as a shock to her how much she had grown to depend on him.

"Of course I do. But as you said. This is the way it is, and we just have to accept it." She headed into the kitchen, not wanting lacy to see her tears, She wasn't lying when she said that they had to accept what Happy did, but it didn't make it easy. And the thought of him on a manhunt, out alone on the road filled her with dread. Worried? She wasn't worried. She was absolutely terrified.


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own sons of anarchy

SIX

Of all the sons to ride with, Quinn was his favorite. The big nomad president was unparalleled when it came to stamina. He would ride for days, through all weathers, never showing signs of tiredness or discomfort. Happy had known him to ride for two days straight with barely a break and still be ready for some serious shit kicking at the end of the run.

He missed this. Since Lacy had moved in with him, he had only been on short runs, staying away for one night at the most. Lorca's old lady would watch her, but Lacy wasn't easy at the best of times and with four boys of her own, she had enough to deal with.

Even when she was throwing things at him and calling him all the names under the sun, he loved that moody, irrational kid and didn't regret for one instant taking her on. But this. Riding with his brother at his side. The growl of the engines, the feel of his Harley under him as they ripped up the highway, lane splitting and weaving through the traffic at ninety. This was who he was. Who he'd always be. While it was true that he missed his little family and felt bad for abandoning them, he knew that if Dee couldn't accept that this was his life and asked him to choose, he would, without hesitation, put her aside. It would hurt, but he couldn't stop being who he was. Not for Dee, not for his ma, not for Lacy. Not for anyone.

They had been riding for eight hours, heading east to Omaha where, King's ex old lady lived. It was a long shot, but Boots had visited an ATM just west of there so it was worth a shot.

Less than an hour later they were pulling up outside King's ex's house. Happy looked over to the man who had been his president for many years. "How do you wanna play this?"

"Knock on the front door and ask if they're there. Aint no point sneaking about and I doubt they're stupid enough to stick around. Bitch might know where they're headed though."

"Makes sense. After you prez."

Rita King wasn't surprised to see two sons walking towards her house. She had been warned they could be coming. She still couldn't quite believe her idiot of an ex had led them to her door, but with hindsight, he always was a dumb fuck. The only reason he made president in the first place was because he was nastier than all his brothers, and didn't care who he hurt in his quest to get what he wanted. She sighed, there had been a time when she had loved him so much. Refusing to believe what he was really like. For fifteen years, she stood by him. Closing her eyes to the other women, forgiving him for the beatings, waiting patently while he was in jail, until one morning she'd woken up and had an epiphany. She was throwing her life away for a man that didn't care about her. There and then, she'd packed her bags and moved back to her mother's, never looking back. He'd begged her to come back of course and, when that didn't work, resorted to threats. She'd stayed strong though. She would rather die than go back to that life.

Him turning up like that, with Boots in tow had been a surprise, to say the least. But she'd let them stay for the night and given him some cash for a motel room when they left. He was in trouble, that much was clear, and she didn't want to see him killed. But as she looked at the two scary looking motherfuckers approaching she knew there was no way she was prepared to die to save his sorry ass.

She was expecting them. Happy followed Quinn into her kitchen and leaned on the counter. "King was here?"

She wasn't going to try to deny it. "Yes. They left early this morning."

Quinn looked up. "You know where they're headed?"

"No. But I'm guessing, maybe Austin. King has family down there."

"You got an address?"

"No. I know he has a sister that lives just out of town. From what he's told me, the place is a bit off the beaten track. I'm sorry that's all I know."

Quinn smiled. "Appreciate your co-operation. This sister got a name?"

"Mary. She married a Freddy Carter. As far as I know they're still together." She frowned. "What will happen when you find them?"

"You really wanna know?" Happy straightened up.

"No I guess I don't." She watched as they walked away. Maybe she should have lied, she shook her head, no. They were going to find them sooner or later. The big guy was the nomad president and she'd been around the club enough to know that there was no hiding place once the nomads were on your trail. Whatever her had ex had done had warranted the death penalty. And that cold eyed, tattooed bastard looked like the executioner.

As soon as they got outside Quinn pulled out his cell. "We need to find who's closest to Austin. Smart move, heading down there. Aint a charter for miles. If we don't catch up to him he could drop off the radar for good."

"They got about four hours start on us. Aint no way King is gonna do twelve hours straight. Fucker's too old. Reckon he'll stop round about Oklahoma. There's a chance we could catch up to them." Happy pulled out his cell. "Gonna call Juice, see if he can't find this sister."

Quinn grinned and swung his leg over his bike. This was why he wanted to ride with Happy. His brother was a natural nomad and, like him, was able to ride over huge distances without a break. "Okay, we passed a gas station and diner a few miles back. We'll eat then head south. Hopefully Juice can give us an address and we can get there before they do. That's if we haven't been fed a line back there."

"Nah. Bitch wasn't lying."

Quinn nodded and gunned the engine. If Happy said she wasn't lying, then she wasn't lying. No one read people as well as his brother.

Again, Juice had come good. Happy vowed to buy the little nerd a drink as they drove down the narrow track to the run down looking house that was set back from the road. Quinn pulled over to one side. "We'll wait here. Don't think we can be seen from the house or the road here. Greg and Wolf should be here soon then we'll decide how this is gonna work."

"We're gonna kill 'em, get some sleep and go home." Happy shrugged. "Wasted enough time on these assholes."

In less than ten minutes, an anonymous black van pulled up and Greg and Wolf climbed out. Greg grinned. "Brothers. Good to see you. When do we get to kill these fuckers?"

Quinn grinned, then immediately took charge. "Wolf I need you to go and check the house. By our reckoning they aint here yet, but we could be wrong. Hap go with him."

It came as no real surprise to find there were no bikes outside the house. The only vehicle parked outside was an old station wagon. King's sister was inside, they could see her moving about through the window. Both faded back into the shadows, not wanting to alert her to their whereabouts. Silently they made their way back to their brothers and settled down for a, hopefully, not too long wait.

Their plan was simple, they would grab them before they reached the house, throw them in the van and take them somewhere discrete to dispatch them. It should have worked King and Boots' progress was halted by the van across the track and Happy and Quinn's bikes prevented a retreat. The sight of four glocks pointing at them should also have been sufficient incentive to get in the van. Boots, however, had other ideas. They were going to kill him either way, and he wasn't going to make it easy for them. He dropped his weapon and walked slowly toward the van, Happy following close behind. Then, as Quinn was occupied with tying up King and Greg and Wolf were climbing back into the front of the van, he saw his opening. Turning quickly he struck Happy in the chest, causing him to stagger backwards, and sprinted for his bike with Happy hot on his tail.

It was unusual for Happy to be caught unawares but he really wasn't expecting the sharp blow to the stomach, winding him and nearly knocking him off his feet. Quickly he recovered and set off after his prey, still trying to catch his breath. There really was no way Boots was going to make it to his bike, all he'd really done was earned himself an extra beating. Happy tackled him from behind, sending them both crashing to the ground. "You really thought you could get away from me, motherfucker?" He grabbed his hair and pounded his head into the ground. "No one gets away from me." He didn't stop his assault until a pair of huge hands grabbed him by the upper arms and dragged him to his feet.

"We need to get him in the van, Hap." Quinn frowned as his brother turned around, breathing heavily. "Er Hap. You're bleeding."

Happy looked down at the huge red stain the was spreading across his white tee shirt. "Oh. Fucker had a knife" He swayed and as his vision blurred, sank to his knees.


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own sons of anarchy

SEVEN

Quinn pulled happy to his feet. "C'mon bro, we need to get you into the van. Greg, Wolf. Get out here!"

"Shit! What the fuck happened to you." Wolf took Happy from Quinn, and practically carried him to the front of van. Happy grunted but said nothing. All his concentration was on remaining conscious. He was losing a lot of blood and could feel his body shutting down. "Hap. Hap. Stay with me." He could hear Wolf, but he seemed so far away. Feeling himself being bundled into the passenger seat he forced himself to open his eyes, as his tee shirt was pulled up and his brother examined the wound. "Bad?" He rasped.

"Aint good, bro." He pulled the first aid kit from the glove box. "Gotta stop this bleeding" Wolf dressed the wound as best he could. He was no medic but he'd seen enough knife wounds to recognise a bad one, and if they didn't get Happy help soon, he was going to bleed out. He looked up as Quinn came round to the front of the van. "We gotta get him help."

"Okay. Got those two assholes in the back. They aint going anywhere. Greg will take Hap's bike and we'll follow you to the nearest hospital."

Greg had done his best to conceal Boots and King's bikes. they wouldn't be exactly hard to find, but they were hidden well enough to give them at least a few hours to get out of the area before anyone came looking.

"Hap! C'mon man. Open your goddamned eyes." Happy slumped forward in the passenger seat and Wolf roughly pushed him back. "You are not going to fucking die." All the time, he kept one eye on the road and Greg who was leading the way. Apparently he knew the way to the nearest hospital. Of course he did. Fucker spent more time on a gurney than in a bed, he was, without doubt the most accident prone of all the sons. Hell, most sons had all four limbs.

There was no pain, not really. Just a dull, pulsing ache. Despite this, he knew he was dying. With each beat of his heart more blood was lost. Each breath was harder than the last. He wasn't afraid to die. He'd stood on the edge of that huge pit of nothingness a hundred times before. There was no afterlife, no retribution. Just nothing. It would be so easy to step over the threshold, to stop fighting for each and every breath and let go. Something, though, was stopping him. He knew the human body would do whatever it could to survive, but that wasn't what this was. What was stopping him was a skinny teenager with an attitude the size of Nebraska and a dark haired beauty with eyes as black as his and a smile like sunshine. They filled his consciousness, forcing him to take the next breath. "Wolf." It was barely a whisper. "If I…"

"Shut the fuck up and keep breathing. I aint digging three graves."

"Listen. I got a girl…. An' a kid…In Tacoma…I need."

"You aint gonna die. Stop being such a fucking pussy. It was only a little knife." Wolf breathed a huge sigh of relief as the hospital loomed into view. He knew his brother was barely hanging on, was amazed in fact, that he'd survived this long. "Okay Hap. We're here. Just hang on in there."

Quinn ran to the van and pulled open the passenger door. "I'll take him in. You an' Greg take care of these two." He nodded to the two trussed up and gagged figures in the back. "Do not fuck it up. C'mon Hap. Lets get you patched up. Again." Happy didn't respond, not even as he was dragged, none to gently from the van and hauled inside. "Need some help here." Quinn looked around, spotting a nurse. "Hey. My buddy's bleeding out. Get over here." She gasped and grabbing a gurney rushed over. "Thanks Darling." Standing back as more nurses turned up, he grinned at his brother. "You're in good hands now bro, don't die on them."

It was too bright. Happy groaned and tried to turn his head. Pain radiated through his body as he moved and his throat felt like he'd been gargling with crushed glass. Reluctantly he opened his eyes and found him self staring at the grinning face of his former president. "Hey." His voice was even more raspy than usual.

Quinn's grin grew wider. "Fuck man, I got better things to do than sit here holding your hand."

Happy closed his eyes, the effort of staying awake was too great. He wondered briefly how close he's come to death and how long he'd been laying there. He couldn't remember arriving at the hospital, all he could remember was trying to tell Wolf about his woman and his kid. Shit. They'd be worried about him. He tried to open his eyes again, but the effort was too great and he was forced to give up the fight.

Quinn looked over at Happy as he sank back into unconsciousness. He really was one tough son of a bitch, a lesser man wouldn't have survived. He shook his head. Stubborn fucker had defied the odds again.

Dee checked her cell for, what felt like, the thousandth time that day. Something was very wrong, she was sure. Happy would call at least every other day, but she hadn't heard anything for three days now. If she didn't hear anything by the evening, she was going to have to go to the clubhouse and find out what was going on. She knew he wanted to keep her away from the club. He didn't want what he did blowing back on her and Lacy, and the best way to keep them safe was if no one knew of their existence. As far as she knew the only people who knew about Lacy was her father and Lorca, and they had been sworn to secrecy. But no one knew about her. Right now though, she didn't care what he wanted. She needed to know what was wrong and she couldn't keep pretending to Lacy that everything was fine.

Happy opened his eyes again. Quinn was gone and in his place was Greg. "Where's Quinn?"

"Had shit to do. Said I'd stick around and keep an eye on you. Pigs have been sniffing around. Told 'em you were jumped. Didn't see anything."

Happy nodded. Standard MC statement. "You don't have to stay, Greg."

"Yeah I do. Quinn's orders."

Grunting with the effort, He tried to sit up a little. "I need my cell."

"It's right here."

"Thanks. Can you give me a minute?" He waited until his brother had left the room then pressed call. "Hey."

"Oh God, Hap. I've been so worried. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He wasn't she could hear the strain in his voice. "Just wanted to touch base. Let you know I'm okay. I'm sorry baby, I can't really talk now. I'll call you back later."

"Okay. You would tell me if something was wrong?"

"Of course. I gotta go. Bye baby." He hung up, too exhausted to talk anymore.

Dee knew he was lying, she wasn't stupid. But he wasn't dead and he wasn't in jail. For now that would have to do.

The next two days were just a blur. Doctors and nurses came in prodded him and told him how lucky he was to be alive. He was just pissed at himself for getting caught out like that. Greg stuck around, but they didn't talk much, despite their years as fellow nomads, they didn't know each other well and neither was talkative. Despite this, he appreciated him sticking around and his offer to ride back to Tacoma with him. He could only stay awake for short periods at a time and it was beginning to seriously piss him off. He wasn't a man used to inactivity and feeling weak and useless was new to him.

On the third day, he'd had enough. "Greg. Go find someone. I need to get out of here."

"Sorry, brother. Aint gonna happen. You are here for another three days at least." He laughed. "Shit man, you cant even walk across the room without nearly passing out. You really think you can ride all the way to Tacoma."

"Fine. But the next asshole prods me I swear I'll…"

"What? Faint on them. Sorry man you just gotta suck this up till you're healed."

He had tried to be patient, to not rip into the people that were trying to help him. But when he was discharged five days later, he was sure that they were as happy to see him leave as he was to go. After much pushing Dee had finally got him to admit he'd been hurt and it took all his powers of persuasion to convince her that jumping on a plane and flying out to see him was unnecessary.

It took over a week to get back to Tacoma. He could only ride for short distances at a time, taking hourly breaks and stopping at a motel or clubhouse every night. He was grateful to Greg for staying with him for the entire trip. It must have been tedious for him, but he hadn't complained, and without him there, Happy would have definitely pushed himself too hard. Finally after eight long days, he was home. He was exhausted, sore and, frankly, felt like shit, but as he hugged his girls, none of that mattered. He was back where he should be. In the arms of his family.


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own sons of anarchy

EIGHT

Although she often teased him about it, Lacy never saw Happy as old. For as long as she'd known him, he had been unchanged, strong, unbreakable and invincible. She hardly recognised the man standing in front of her. His face was etched with pain and he looked exhausted, and… Old. As she watched Dee lead him to the bedroom she couldn't stop the feeling of panic that was rising into her throat, threatening to choke her. She'd been scared before. When her mom was using, or when he got mad at her, but this was different. He'd been hurt before and he'd been in jail, but she'd never thought she would lose him. That he could be taken away from her for ever. That he could die.

Dee had told her he'd been hurt, but that he'd be fine, so she hadn't been too worried and was eagerly looking forward to him coming home. Judging by the expression on her face, Dee too, had been shocked by his appearance, although she had quickly hidden it and taken control of the situation, insisting he needed to rest and leading him, firmly, to the bedroom. She could hear them talking behind the closed doors, but couldn't make out the words. Anxiously, she waited for Dee to come out, and as soon as the door opened she headed for the room. Dee frowned. "Lacy. Happy needs to rest. You can see him later."

"No, I can't. I need to see him now. I need…"

"I know, sweetheart. Okay, just for a little while." Dee understood Lacy's anxiety, Happy had been there for her all her life, and there was a solidity about him that gave the impression he'd be around for ever. It had been a shock when he'd walked through the door, so broken. God only knew the impact it had on Lacy.

Happy opened his eyes as the door opened again and his kid walked into the room. "Hey sugar."

"Hey." Lacy stood in the doorway, her eyes huge and glassy with unshed tears.

"You gonna stand there all day? Or are you gonna get your skinny ass over here and keep me company?" Gritting his teeth against the pain that radiated across his abdomen, he pulled himself into a sitting position and held out his hand as she walked slowly towards him and climbed onto his bed.

She was almost too afraid to touch him. His bare torso was covered with a large dressing and even under his tan, she could see how pale he was. Happy slipped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. "Don't look so worried, sugar, I'm a bit beat up right now. But I'll be fine. I promise."

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't die."

"Not planning on it, sugar."

"But you could?"

"Every one's gonna die."

"You know what I mean. I want you to die when you're old. When I'm old. I don't want you to get killed."

"That makes two of us."

"But you could?"

"Managed to stay alive this long, sugar."

"Haaap."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I know you're freaking out." He kissed the top of her head. "I dunno what to tell you, Lacy. Sometimes I get in dangerous situations and sometimes I get hurt. This time was worse than usual. But thinking about you and Dee got me through it. I can't promise I'm gonna be around for ever. No one can. But I can promise that while there is breath left in my body I will love you."

"You could promise never to go away again."

Happy shifted and pushed her away slightly so he could look her in the eye. "I'm a son, sugar. I love you and I know me going away is tough on you and Dee. I guess it's selfish of me to want a life with you and a life with the club, ma always said I was. But this is who I am, and it's the only life I know. I am sorry that this has freaked you out and it will probably happen again." He pulled her close to him again. "If you wanna go back to Bakersfield. I'll understand."

"Why would I do that? I love it here. I miss Jack and mom. But you and Dee feel more like my family. I don't really want you to stop being a son, it makes you who you are. I just got scared when I saw how much you're hurting." She ran her finger along the tattoo that ran across his collar bone. "I live, I die, I kill for my family. I must have seen that a million times, but I've never really thought about it before. It means everything to you."

"There aint nothing else sugar."

"I really love you. Hap."

"I love you too. You're a good Kid."

"I aint a kid."

"Sure you are." Happy smiled as she snuggled closer, just like she did when she was little. He closed his eyes and let sleep claim him, still holding tightly to his little girl.

When, two hours later, Dee peeked around the door to see if he wanted something to eat, they were both fast asleep in each other's arms. Quietly she backed out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her, leaving Hap and his Kid alone.

"Dee."

"Hey sweetheart. Is Hap awake?"

"No." Lacy threw herself down onto the sofa, next to her aunt. "He's hurt real bad isn't he?"

"I think travelling home, took it out of him. He probably should have stayed in Texas for a while longer. He'll be fine Lacy he just needs a few days to recover."

"He wont though." Dee could hear the hysteria rising in her niece's voice. "You know what he's like. He's gonna push himself and get an infection or something, an' then he'll get sick an'…."

"Lacy calm down. He will be fine. I'll make sure of it." She gave her a hug and stood up. "How about I get us something to eat?"

Even when Dee climbed into bed next to him, Happy didn't wake. She had been right when she said the journey home had taken it out of him. He'd been told he wasn't to ride for at least a month and by doing so he had put back his recovery by weeks. It would have been worse for him if the clubhouses he had stayed at didn't have at least one patch that was capable of re-stitching his wound each time he pulled it open. Dee slipped her arm around him and he turned towards her, grunting as his stomach muscles pulled. Coming home so soon might have knocked him on his ass, but he would do it again in an instant. Wrapping his arms around her he buried his face in her hair and mumbled, still half asleep. "Hey darling. I really missed you. How about a blowjob?"


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own sons of anarchy

This chapter is dedicated to the freak circle (You know who you are.) Thank you so much for your support. I really do appreciate it. Thank you also, for making me laugh. You are sick, twisted, and I love you all. xxxx

NINE

Happy opened his eyes and took a moment to reorient himself. He was home, in his own bed. He looked around, and he was alone. The light through his window was telling him it was morning and his inner debate about whether or not he should get up and find his woman, was decided by the nagging of his full bladder. Gingerly he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. As he shuffled slowly to the bathroom, he wondered if this was what it felt like to be old, but quickly dismissed the idea. Most old people don't have a nine inch knife wound under their ribs. Dee was cooking bacon, he slowly made his way from the bathroom to the kitchen, he stomach growling in anticipation. She turned as he approached and smiling, wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hey."

"Hey." He kissed her softly. "That for me?"

"Yeah, you hungry?"

"Yeah. Mmm you smell so good." He nuzzled into her neck. "I seem to remember asking you for a blow job last night."

"You did. Right before you fell asleep. The mind's willing but the body's weak, I guess." She laughed. "Eat your breakfast, then we can go back to bed and finish what you tried to start."

"You wouldn't be making fun of me, would you girl? I'm a sick man."

"Maybe a tiny bit." She piled the bacon and eggs onto a plate. "Now eat, you need to build up your strength."

He hadn't expected to be able to eat much. For the last week he'd had to force himself to eat, knowing if he didn't, he wouldn't have the strength to get home. But suddenly sitting at his own table with the breakfast that Dee had made in front of him, he found he was ravenous.

Dee smiled as he polished off his food. She knew it was only a matter of time before he was back to his old self again. The challenge was going to be stopping him from trying to do too much, too soon. As soon as he'd finished, she took his hand and led him to the bedroom. "Lay down, I'll be with you shortly." She pushed him down gently on to the bed and kissed him softly, before leaving the room.

"Hey! Get back here." Happy's objection to being left alone was only halfhearted. He could already feel his eyes closing. It was going to take a few days to recover and now it seemed prudent to actually do what his body was telling him to do, rather than ignore it and push himself even harder.

Dee knew that when she returned to the bedroom he would be asleep. She had no idea how he'd managed to ride home, but it had clearly taken every last ounce of his strength, and it was going to take a while to get it back.

She walked back through the empty apartment. To her amazement, Lacy had gone to school without any argument, she hadn't wanted Happy to be pissed with her. She shook her head, wondering how long that would last.

The buzzing of the doorbell shook her from her reverie. She picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Hey. I'm looking for Hap. He in?"

"He's sleeping. Who's this?"

"Name's Quinn."

"I've heard him talk about you. Do you want to come up? I can always wake him."

"Nah it's all good. I'll drop by later."

"Okay. Bye Quinn."

"See ya darling. Oh, hey what's your name?"

"Dee."

"Okay, Dee, see ya later."

Quinn climbed back on his bike. Dee, so that was her name. Wolf had said that Happy had mentioned that he had a woman and a kid, but he'd put it down to delirium, brought on by shock and loss of blood. He'd known about Happy's relationship with Lacy's mom and knew that had been dead for a long while, but had assumed it was her he'd been talking about. Oh he'd definitely be back to see who that secretive fucker had squirreled away.

* * *

The Tacoma clubhouse was heaving, both the Redwood and Vegas Charters were in town, and the place was packed to the rafters with patches, sweet butts and hangarounds. Quinn glanced at the clock on the wall, as much as he wanted to stick around for the party, he also wanted to see Happy before he hit the road in the morning. Reluctantly, he headed for the door. "Leaving so soon?"

He turned and grinned at the sight of Tig with a pair of the skankiest whores wrapped around him. Shit that man had absolutely no standards. "Gonna see Hap. He's still laid up, and I'm heading up north in the morning."

"Wait up, I'll come with. Aint seen Hap for ages and I hear he got banged up pretty bad. Keep 'em warm girls, I'll be back later."

Happy knew that he was missing one of the biggest parties of the year. But as he sat in front of the TV, with Dee resting her head on his shoulder and Lacy laying with her head on his lap, he really couldn't bring himself to care. He ran his fingers through his girl's long blonde hair and gave a small smile as he felt Dee snuggle closer, the fingers of his other hand entwined in hers. Right now there was nowhere he'd rather be. He frowned as the doorbell buzzed. "Who the fuck is that?"

"I'll get it." Dee stood and walked towards the intercom. "It's probably Quinn."

"Quinn?"

"Yeah, sorry, I forgot to tell you. He came round earlier, while you were asleep. Said he'd come back." She buzzed him in and opened the door as the sound of voices came up the stairs.

"Hey." Happy nudged Lacy. "Make yourself scarce."

"But."

"Do it Lacy."

"Fine." She got up and he watched as she flounced to her room, slamming the door behind her. She might not like it, but he didn't want her to hear anything Quinn had to tell him.

He looked up as Dee walked back into the lounge, followed by Tig and Quinn. She smiled. "Can I get you guys a beer?" Tig gave what could only be described as a leer. "Sure doll. Need a hand." He wiggled his eyebrows. "I got a spare."

"No, It's okay. I can carry two bottles of beer." Happy looked up. "No Hap, it'll mess up your medication." She walked into the kitchen. "Have you eaten? I'm cooking chicken."

"Great I love chicken." Tig grinned and took the offered beer.

Happy rolled his eyes. So much for a quiet night in. "Was there something you wanted?"

Quinn sat in the armchair opposite him. "Just checking in. Showing some brotherly concern." He looked over to the kitchen to where Dee was preparing vegetables, chatting animatedly to Tig. "Your old lady?"

"Yeah." Happy had no intention of talking about Dee.

"Tig know her?"

"They met once, in Charming. We weren't together then." He sighed. "She's M's sister."

"Fuck, Hap. Your life's just one big soap opera."

"Fuck you, asshole. Why you really here Quinn? I'm pretty sure it aint to discuss my private life."

"Salt Lake is being disbanded, for now anyway. Dixon's talking about going Nomad. Wanted your opinion."

Happy nodded. Unlike the other charters, members didn't need a unanimous vote to patch in. All they needed was the approval of the president to become a nomad. "Don't like him."

"Gonna need a bit more than that Hap."

"Fucker's an asshole. He blackmailed his prez into giving him the VP position. Got no right to call himself a son."

Quinn grinned. "That's what I thought you'd say. Clay put it to the vote at Salt Lake as to whether or not he kept his patch. They saved him, but no charter will vote him in. Nomad's his last chance. Or at least it was." He stood up and put, the now empty, bottle on the coffee table. "I'm gonna head off, you look done in." He looked back over to the kitchen. "Tig. C'mon, bro. Lets go."

"But I wanted a piece of chicken." Reluctantly he followed the nomad down the stairs, whining as he went.

Dee closed the door behind them and sat back down. "Dinner wont be for a while, maybe you should have a lay down for a little while."

"Fuck Dee, I aint an invalid." Their eyes met and he grinned. "Yeah. A lay down is just what I need."


	10. Chapter 10

I don't own sons of anarchy

TEN

Lacy couldn't help the grin that spread across her face at the sight of the big black Dyna parked outside the school gates. She could feel the eyes of her fellow students boring into her back as she climbed onto the back of his bike. The sons were cool, most of the boys wanted to be one and most of the girls wanted to be with one, so them thinking that Hap was her dad, didn't do her street cred any harm at all. As soon as she was settled, he turned and squeezed her left knee. "Ready sugar?"

She tucked her thumbs into the loops on the waistband of his jeans. "Ready."

She loved to ride with him. Ever since she was tiny and would sit in front of him, she had loved it. She had tried to explain what it was like to her friends, but could never fully verbalize how it felt. Sometimes it was impossible to distinguish where Happy ended and the bike started. It was as if they were a single organism as they hugged the road, and when she sat behind him she became a part of it. There was nothing passive about being on his bike, she had to move with him, be as aware of everything around them as he was. As a passenger in a car she was a spectator, watching the scenery go by. On a bike, she was the scenery.

She knew this little run was his way of saying sorry. Although he had been riding again for a week now, he still tired easily and could only manage short distances. Working too, was proving challenging. Sometimes he would go in for an hour or so, but until he was fully healed, he had to avoid lifting or anything too strenuous. As a result, Happy was anything but. For the last couple of weeks he'd been snappy and irritable and this morning it had been Lacy on the receiving end of his bad temper. Yes she'd been slow getting ready for school, and didn't turn down the radio when he asked. But there had been no need to rip into her like that, actually making her cry. She guessed Dee had said something to him after she'd left for school although even her aunt was tiptoeing around him. She'd been in the firing line more than Lacy.

Happy pulled up outside an icecream parlour. He'd been way out of line with her. Every time he thought about the look on his kid's face as the tore into her, he was wracked with guilt. Dee had been pissed and pointed out, in no uncertain terms that he had to make it right with her. Just because he wasn't fit to work or go on runs, didn't mean he could take it out on them. He allowed himself a small smile as they walked to the parlour and she slipped her hand into his. His kid had forgiven him already.

They sat at the counter, Lacy with a huge sundae and happy, a coffee. He grinned as she dipped her spoon in. "I'll never understand how you can eat that shit."

"It's heavenly. Thanks for this Hap."

"Least I could do." He ruffled her hair, chuckling as she scowled. "I'm sorry I was such a douche, sugar."

"S'ok, I know how frustrated you're getting."

"Aint no excuse."

"No Hap, it's not. It's not my fault and it's not Dee's." She nudged him with her elbow. "You're lucky we love you."

"Oh yes I am."

She took a huge spoonful of icecream. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar."

"I was thinking. Maybe I'd like to meet my…Kozic, again. Would that be okay?"

"Sure, baby. You don't need my permission. Any particular reason why?"

"I just want to know if he'd…If any thing happened…. You know."

"You want to know if he'd take care of you if anything happened to me?"

"Yeah. It's stupid, I know."

"No it aint, Lacy. It's never stupid to have a contingency plan." He took her hand. "It scared you, didn't it? Me getting hurt?"

"Yeah." Her voice was tiny. "I never thought about you dying before."

"I'm pretty hard to kill sugar."

"I know."

"Lacy, I promise you that if anything happened to me, Kozic will take care of you."

"Okay."

"But you wanna hear it straight from the horse's mouth, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll tell him you want to see him. You want me there?"

"Please."

They fell silent, lost in their own thoughts. Lacy swirled her spoon around the last of her sundae. "Hap?"

"Yes sugar."

"What about Dee? Who would take care of her?"

"Dee don't need looking after. She's more than capable of taking care of herself."

"I know, but…"

"The club would help her, if she needed anything."

"How could they? You don't want her to have anything to do with the club. They don't even know she exists"

"I take it by that little statement, you think I'm making a mistake."

"I know you don't want what you do to hurt me and Dee, and you think that by not involving us in that side of your life, you protect us in some way. But we are involved, Hap. You have to make Dee your old lady. Properly. That way she gets the protection and support she needs from the club as well as you."

"Wow you've really thought about this."

"She was really worried. She didn't hear from you for days. If the club had known about her, they would have kept her in the loop. As it was she didn't know where to turn. That isn't fair, Happy. You can't just shove us in a box and get us out when it suits you. The club is a massive part of your life and it should be part of ours too."

"Shit, you are one smart kid, sugar."

"I aint a kid."

"No I guess you're not."

Later, as he lay in bed, admiring Dee's naked form as she sashayed across the room to join him. He pondered on Lacy's words. In the past, whether it was with his ma or Mona, the sticking point had always been the club and how much time he dedicated to it. He didn't want it to come between him and Dee or it to be the thing that finally drove his kid away. Maybe she was right. The way to prevent that from happening was to involve them in that part of his life. She slid between the sheets and he pulled her into his arms. "Lacy thinks I should make you my old lady, properly, y'know. Introduce you to the club, put my mark on you."

"Oh. And what do you think?"

"I think she could be right." He grinned and started nibbling at her neck, concentrating at the place, just below her ear lobe that made her squirm. "Gotta say I like the idea of you wearing my ink."

"Mmm." Dee wriggled as he squeezed her nipple. "Where would you put it?"

His hand slowly moved down her body, stopping at her hip. "Maybe here." It carried on it's slow journey, stopping again at the top of her inner thigh. "No. here."

"But no one would see it."

"I would."

He worked his way down her body, kissing, biting and licking, until his tongue touched the spot he'd suggested. "I'd see it every time I was here." Dee moaned and grabbed at his head. "Mmm, while you're there." As soon as his tongue touched her clit, she convulsed like she'd been shocked. He growled, and pushed her legs further apart and continued his merciless assault, sucking, licking and gently nipping as she became more and more frantic, her body arching and her short fingernails digging into his head as her orgasm built. He pulled away and she whimpered, wanting more. "Dirty bitch." He growled as he roughly turned her over, pulled her onto her knees and pushed himself inside her. "This what you want?" Slowly, he pulled out and slammed back inside her, harder this time, causing her to moan. "Again Hap. Please." Laughing, he slapped her ass and started to pick up the pace, faster and faster, until he could hold back no longer. He came hard and fast and collapsed onto the mattress, breathing heavily. "Shit Dee, you're gonna kill me. I'm still a sick man you know." Rolling over, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her softly. "So what do you say? We gonna make this official?"

"Yeah, we are." She kissed him. "I love you, Happy Lowman."


	11. Chapter 11

I don't own sons of anarchy

ELEVEN

The house was rundown and would cost half the purchase price to renovate. The location, however, was perfect. It was set back from the road and away from prying eyes but close enough for lacy to still be able to walk to school or visit with her friends.

"So what do you think?"

"It needs a lot of work."

Happy smiled as Dee slipped her arm through his. "Yeah. It does."

"Going to cost a lot to put right."

"Yeah it will."

"Do you like it."

"I love it."

"Okay then."

"Hap, we have to think about this."

"What's to think about? I like it, you like it. We can afford it. So we'll have it."

"We can afford to buy it. But this looks like a money pit to me."

Happy put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "Dee, it will be perfect. Trust me."

* * *

Six months later and Dee was still having trouble seeing how this was ever going to be perfect. Most of the interior had been reduced to rubble as walls were knocked down and floors, ripped up. Happy had called in favours from far and wide to get the work done. Many of the sons worked in construction which meant they could keep labour costs low. But it did mean that a lot of the work was being done in the evenings and weekends and, every so often the workforce would disappear on runs for a few days. This combined with the fact that payment was in food, beer and weed also meant that, although they were sticking to their budget, the project was already weeks behind schedule. They were due to move out of Happy's apartment in six days time and had nowhere to live. Happy had suggested they stay at the clubhouse, which was met with a resounding 'no' from both Lacy and herself. Dee was okay with going to the occasional party, and got on well with his brothers and their old ladies, but she'd never be comfortable with the fact that Hap had fucked practically every one of the whores that hung around the patches. Something that more than one of them had, not too subtly, made her aware of. Lacy had only there been once or twice to see Kozic, and hated it. The girls intimidated her and she had no idea how she was supposed to behave around the patches. As a result, a compromise had to be found. Renting somewhere would be expensive and money was tight, despite Dee working full time in a local accountant's. Hap had acquired a motor home for them to stay in until the house was habitable. Lacy had not been impressed and had announced that it was time for Kozic to step up and let her stay in his guest room. This, of course had caused more arguments. There was no way Happy was going to let Lacy stay there, she was his kid and would be living with them. Finally, Dee had stepped in and pointed out that it made sense for Lacy to stay with Kozic. The three of them in such a confined space would probably result in murder, and whether Happy liked it or not he was Lacy's father, and over the last few months, they had developed a relationship of sorts. Reluctantly, Happy had agreed, on the condition that she called every day, and she spent at least some of the time with him and Dee.

"Hey, sweetheart. You looking for Hap?"

She started at the voice behind her. "Shit, Rane. For a big man, you sure do walk soft. You nearly gave me a heart attack." She shook her head. "No Hap, will be here later. I just wanted to see how things were going and check how many mouths need feeding."

"Things are going great. At this rate, you should be in by Christmas." He chuckled at the sceptical expression on her face. "Not necessarily this Christmas though."

"Funny." She patted him on the chest. "So who's here?"

"Kozic is making a start on the wiring. Lee and Donut are re-laying the floor upstairs and you got a couple of nomads, Wolf and GoGo installing the bathroom."

"And you?"

"Oh, I'm here to entertain you with my wit and good looks."

"Rane Quinn, you can entertain me any time you like. If you're not doing anything here, how about you come back with me?" Quinn arched his eyebrows and she laughed. "I've got a shit load of packing to do, and every time I mention it. Hap and Lacy disappear."

"I can do that. I'm just getting in the way here." He walked her to her car, then mounted his Harley and followed her to Happy's apartment.

As she glanced into her rear view mirror, Dee couldn't help but smile. Of all Happy's brothers, Quinn was her favourite. He would fool around and flirt with her without ever overstepping his boundaries, and it was clear that her man trusted him implicitly.

Happy grinned as he noticed Quinn's bike outside the apartment block. His former president had a soft spot for his old lady and had allowed himself to get dragged into packing their stuff away, ready to go into storage.

It hadn't surprised him how well she got along with all his brothers. She was an easy going girl and was always respectful of them and their old ladies. He suspected that some of the Friday night whores had been giving her a hard time, but when he'd questioned her about it. She'd insisted it wasn't a problem and reassured him that if any of them gave her too much trouble she'd let him know. His grin broadened on entering the apartment and seeing Quinn and his old lady crashed out on the sofa, her head resting on the big nomad's shoulder and him, snoring loudly. He manoeuvred himself around the boxes that were scattered about the floor and kicked his brother on his boot. "Hey. You wearing my old lady out?"

Quinn woke with a grunt. "Where the fuck you been?"

At the sound of his voice Dee started to stir. Blearily she opened her eyes and stretched. "Oh you're back. Quinn helped me pack everything. Seeing as you were too busy."

"Sarcastic bitch." He pulled her to her feet and kissed her softly, ignoring the rolling eyes of his brother. "What's that I can smell?"

"Chili It's for the workers."

"I'm a worker, bitch. I've been out earning, while you're cosying up to my brother."

Dee grinned. "Jealous?"

"Nah, ugly fucker's got nothing on me."

"Still here folks." Quinn stood and stretched. "How about you lend me your cage an' I'll take the chilli to the workers."

Happy and Quinn loaded the pot of chili into her car and Quinn set off to the clubhouse, where the guys would be waiting.

As soon as they were alone, Happy pounced. His mouth crashed down on her and he pushed her back onto the sofa. "Get naked." Frantically he tried to undo the buttons on her shirt, growling with frustration as they resisted his fingers.

Laughing, Dee pushed his hands away and slowly unbuttoned her shirt and pulled off her jeans. "Could say the same to you, big man."

Within seconds, he had removed his clothes and was inside her, not wanting to waste a second. Quinn would be back soon and Lacy was due back from the movies in less than an hour. Happy loved it when the apartment was empty and his girl could cry out as much as she liked. Maybe Lacy staying at Kozic's would have it's advantages.

As they lay in each others arms catching their breath, his hand found its way to her inner thigh and the smiley face that was inked there, for his eyes only. He smiled as his eyelids grew heavy. She had been seriously pissed when she realised what a sensitive area that was. Now though, she loved it as much as him. There was another, one that his brothers could see if she wore her hair up. It wasn't big or ornate. Just the letters SOA and underneath, the word 'Happy' on the back of her neck. It was all that was needed to mark her as his. Of course, it was only fair that he should do likewise, so now on his shoulder blade, nestling among the demons were her and Lacy's names and the word 'family.'

At times like this, he couldn't believe how lucky he was. She was so much better than him, and after being pushed to the sidelines for so long, she should have walked away. But she had waited until he finally opened his eyes and saw what had been in front of him all along.

"Hap." She nudged him in the ribs. Don't fall asleep. Quinn will be back soon, so will Lacy.

He groaned and sitting up, pulled on his jeans. All the time watching her as she did the same. "Have I ever told you that you're one hot bitch."

"Wow you really have a way with words, Hap."

"I know, it's part of my charm."

When Quinn let himself back in they were fully dressed and sharing a joint. He took one look at the expressions on their faces, and grinned. "Is it possible for you two to go more than five minutes without jumping each other?"

"Nah, She can't keep her hands off me,"

Dee rolled her eyes and reluctantly got to her feet. "You want a beer, Rane?"

"Sure." He waited until she had disappeared into the kitchen. "Just got a call from Clay. He needs a little help. Wondered if you wanted in." He glanced over to the kitchen. "I know you got a lot on here, if you say no, that's cool."

Happy sighed. Dee wasn't going to like it. "I'm in. Dee will be cool."

"Dee will be cool about what?" She frowned. "You're going away again."

"I'm sorry. You mad?"

Quinn looked between the two and decided to make a strategic exit. If Dee was pissed, he was going to be in the firing line. He was a brave man who had stared at death a thousand times. But an angry woman? No way. There was a reason he's never taken an old lady. "You two need to talk. I'll see you tomorrow."

Hap barely acknowledged his brother as he left. All his focus was on his old lady. "You pissed?"

"Would it make any difference if I was?"

"I dunno. No, probably not." He sighed. "You know how it is Dee."

"Yeah I do. I'm tired, I'm going to bed. You can wait up for Lacy, she wont be long."

"Dee…"

"Not now Hap."

"Hey." Lacy flopped down on the sofa and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek. "What's with the long face?"

"Dee's pissed."

"Really? Wow. You must have done something really bad. Dee never gets pissed with you." Happy looked at his hands and she frowned. "Oh shit. You're going away again. How long?"

"Dunno. Not too long, I hope."

"Have you talked to her?"

"She aint in the mood for talking."

"Have you tried?"

"Thought I'd give her some space"

"So you're just gonna let her stew? Space is the last thing she needs. You gotta show how much you love her. She understands that the club comes first, but it doesn't mean she has to like it and she's probably terrified you're gonna get hurt again." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. "Hap you know I'm just a kid right? I shouldn't be telling you how to do relationship stuff. Shit, I can't even get a boyfriend. Just sort it out. Please."

"I will." He kissed her forehead. "So why can't you get a boyfriend? Are they blind?"

"No, terrified of you. They think if they as much as look in my direction, you'll kick their asses."

"Ah."

"Ah? Is that all you have to say?"

"Well I might have mentioned to some little punks that were watching your ass, that if I caught them anywhere near you, I'd rip their heads from their shoulders."

"Oh way to go, Hap. I might as well go and live in a convent." She stood up rolling her eyes. "Talk to Dee. No point in us all being miserable."

"Okay, sugar. And don't be mad at me as well. I need at least one of you to love me."

"We both love you. Although I'm not sure you deserve it." She bent and kissed him on the cheek. "Night, Hap."

"Night sugar. I love you too."


	12. Chapter 12

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWELVE

"C'mon, Dee. Don't be pissed. I know you're awake, turn over an' talk to me."

With a sigh, Dee turned over and opened her eyes. "I'm not pissed. Well maybe I am a little, I heard Rane give you the chance to refuse." She touched him softly on the chest. "We're moving out on Saturday and I could do with you being around. And yes, before you say anything, I know you'll make sure I'll get help. It never occurred to you to say no did it?"

"Truthfully, no. It's what I do, what I've always done. I'm sorry Dee, I thought you understood."

"I do." She allowed him to pull her into his arms. "I would never try to come between you and the club. But after last time…."

"It will be fine, I promise."

"That's not something you can promise, Hap. We both know what you do puts you in the firing line. I love you and I don't want to lose you. So no Hap, I'm not pissed, I'm scared."

"Shit, baby girl. Why are you with me? You are gonna go through this time and time again. I'm sorry but I aint gonna change. To tell the truth, I couldn't if I tried." He grinned as she snuggled into his chest. "I am glad I got you though. You an' Lacy are my life and I swear I will do whatever it takes to come home to you in one piece."

With her hands on his cheeks, Dee kissed him. "You're right, I will always hate it when you're away. But I wouldn't change one thing about you. The club has made you the man you are, so you being away, doing whatever it is you do for it is a small sacrifice. I can't remember a time when I didn't love you, Happy Lowman and I've always known that the club comes before everything. Just don't get killed, okay."

"I'll do my best." He pushed her onto her back and positioned himself between her legs. "You really are the best thing to ever happen to me. I love you too, girl. And now I'm gonna show you just how much."

Dee giggled and wiggled her hips against his erection. "Ooooh, show me big man." She gasped as his mouth came crashing down on hers with bruising ferocity.

His hand found it's way down between her legs and he grinned at how wet she was for him. "Dirty little bitch." With a feather light touch, he teased and tormented her till she could stand it no longer and took matters into her own hands. "This what you want?" He plunged inside her, his eyes never leaving hers. He loved the look on her face as he fucked her. In fact there was nothing about her that he didn't love.

* * *

Quinn looked up from his newspaper as a cold blast of air told him the door had opened. "Hap, brother. Still up for this run to Charming?"

"Said I was didn't I?" Happy joined him on the couch. "When you planning on leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning. Aint no desperate rush. But Clay's got some bunch of Nazi shitheads selling meth in town, and you know that nothing happens in Charming without being sanctioned by the sons. Someone has to put those fuckers in their place."

"An' that someone would be us, right?"

"Right. Feds have been sniffing around. Clay's plan is for us to take down the cookhouse and send a message to these shitheads while the charter are all present and correct at a charity fund raiser being held at the weekend, surrounded by lots of lovely witnesses."

Happy chuckled. "Clay's always been one step ahead of the feds. So, just you an' me then?"

"Yeah, I figured we can take care of this between us. If the intel we've been given is correct, the cookhouse isn't particularly well guarded and well off the grid. We should be in and out before anyone notices, and the asshole running the operation lives on site, so we'll be killing two birds with one stone." Quinn grinned. "The purse is two grand, easier to split it two ways. But if it turns out we do need some help I got GoGo and Wolf in the area."

"Okay. I need to talk to the grunt 'bout helping my old lady on Saturday, then I'm heading up to the house. I'll meet you here in the morning."

As he wandered around what was more construction site than house, Happy couldn't shake that guilty feeling. Dee had been project managing the build while working full time and somehow there was always a decent meal on the table for him and Lacy to come home to every evening. He had no idea where she found the time, he swore there weren't enough hours in the day. He had helped with work on the house but most of his efforts had been on trying to keep the cash rolling in. Tacoma wasn't a rich charter and there wasn't the opportunity to earn in the way he did as a nomad. He still worked at Tacoma Auto, but the money he earned there wasn't enough to cover the mortgage and the cost of building materials on top of his ma's meds and home care. Even with Dee's salary they were beginning to struggle financially. The purse from Charming would be a big help in keeping the wolf from the door for another month and not having to pay rent on his apartment would ease things a little in the future. He knew though, that without him taking these jobs, they would still be living in a motor home in a year's time.

* * *

The job turned out to be straight forward. The intel they had been given had been good, and within two hours of being in Charming, Happy and Quinn had reduced the cook house to ashes and the beat down they'd dished out to the guy there left him in no doubt as to what would happen if him and his Nazi buddies set up within the town boundaries again.

As they drove the van back to the clubhouse. "Gotta say, bro. that was easy money. Be nice if all our jobs were as easy as that."

Happy smirked. "Nah, you'd soon get bored. Not enough shit kicking to keep you entertained."

"You got a point." He lit a cigarette . "I take it you won't be sticking around."

"Nah. Gonna go see ma, then head back tomorrow."

"Don't want to keep your old lady waiting huh?"

"Something like that."

"You tell her sister yet?"

Happy gritted his teeth, he loved his brother, but he was a nosy fuck sometimes. "Kinda."

"Kinda? Jeeze, Hap. Kinda? Can you be a bit more specific?"

"Not that I think it's any of your business. M knows that Dee's in Tacoma an' we been seeing each other."

Quinn chuckled. "Since when did you pussy foot around some gash?"

"Since that gash has the power to take my kid away."

"You think she would?"

"I know she would."

"Want me to kill her?"

"Tempting, but nah, best leave her breathing."

They fell silent, Happy concentrated on the road ahead. Mona was still the fly in the ointment. Just hearing that he was seeing Dee had sent her into a rage. She had threatened then, that she'd stop lacy from staying with him. Fortunately his ma had managed to talk her down on that occasion. However, if she got wind that not only were they living together, but he's actually put his mark on her, she would flip. No amount of persuasion or threats would stop her from taking his kid away. All they had to do was hold her off for two more years, and they were free and clear. Lacy would be eighteen and free to live where she chose.

* * *

Lacy looked up as her aunt closed her phone, a huge grin spread across her face. She was staying with Dee in the motor home until happy got back, not comfortable with the thought of her staying there alone. "Hap coming home?"

"Yeah he's staying at Yvonne's tonight and will head back in the morning."

"Is Yvonne okay?"

"Not sure sweetheart. You know Hap, he doesn't give much away. I reckon he's worried though."

Lacy nodded. On her last visit she had been shocked at how shrunken and slow Yvonne had become. It was clear she wasn't going to be able to cope on her own for much longer. "Maybe she should stay with us."

"I doubt she'd agree to that sweetheart. All her friends are in Bakersfield, and her and Hap would be at it all the time, you know what they're like."

"Yeah. Nana Von has never held back when it comes to telling Hap what's what." She grinned as she remembered all those times when Happy was reduced to a sulky teenager by his angry mother. She said nothing but she knew that if Yvonne went into a home there was no way she'd be able to afford it with out help and that would mean hap would probably have to go nomad. As it was money was tight, and she had already thrown away letters from the school asking for money for school trips. The thought of Happy spending even more time away, just to support his family, broke her heart.

Happy was cold and wet. It had been raining for the last hour and the wind was bitterly cold. He wasn't going to stop though. Not for anything. His girls were waiting and he wasn't going to let a little rain stop him from being with them.

* * *

Spike Dixon stood in front of the burned out cook house. His companion scowled. "I warned you this is what would happen if we set up in Charming. You of all people should know what a ruthless asshole Clay Morrow is. Now I got Charming PD sniffing around asking awkward questions." Darby shook his head. "I know you need to earn and you wanna hurt Samcro but you gotta listen to me. Pissing off Clay aint the way to do it."

Dixon frowned. "If your guy had been more discrete we wouldn't be in this situation. All I needed was him to cook up batches. Not sell the shit in town. If Clay discovers it's my money funding this, I'm a dead man." He sighed. "An' I got no beef with Samcro."

"Sure you don't . You might still have a patch but there aint a charter that'll touch you."

"No they wont, and the person responsible is gonna pay."


	13. Chapter 13

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTEEN

As she wandered around their new home, Dee couldn't stop the grin from spreading all over her face. Finally after weeks of living in a cramped, smelly and very cold motor home, they could move in. The house wasn't completely finished. The lounge, den and guest bedrooms were still undecorated. But the huge kitchen come living area was finished, as were the two bathrooms and their bedrooms. After what seemed like an eternity, they would all be back together again. One big happy family.

She turned at the sound of a van pulling up. The guys were here with their furniture, her grin got wider at the prospect of sleeping in their own bed tonight.

"You might wanna move outta the way, darling." Kozic pushed the door open wider to allow the sofa to be brought in. He'd never admit it, but he too was looking forward to them moving into the house. His relationship with his daughter may have improved, but Happy hadn't been exaggerating when he said Lacy was a handful. He swore if she stayed with him for much longer he would he'd end up back on smack. How his brother kept his temper, he'd never know.

"I guess, you're looking forward to getting your place back to yourself, Koz."

"I aint gonna lie, darling. That kid has had me climbing the walls at times. I have never met anyone more contrary. No matter what I do, it's wrong."

"Word to the wise, Koz. Don't try and keep her happy. When she gets in one of her moods, nothing you do will work." She slipped her arm through his and led him out to the back yard. "I for one, am glad that you and Lacy have some sort of relationship. The more people she has in her corner, the better. I know Hap has his doubts, but if anything was to happen…"

"Hey, hey. Nothing is gonna happen to Hap. Fucker's tough as old boots. Nothing keeps him down."

"I know." She sighed. She didn't want him to think she was pathetic and needy. And truthfully, it wasn't something she thought about very often. "You and me both know that Hap could get hurt, or worse. I'm not sitting around fretting every time he walks out of the door, but I am a realist and if anything did happen, Lacy is going to need a lot of support."

He leaned back against the wall and lit a cigarette. "She's got it, as have you."

"Thanks Koz. C'mon we better go in. Hap gets angsty if I'm alone with you."

"Jeez, just cos I fucked his woman once." Kozic rolled his eyes and led her back into the house to where a scowling happy was waiting.

Dee left the SAA's side and slipped her arms under her man's hoodie. "Don't look so worried, Hap. I'm not my sister."

"I know, girl. I trust you."

"But you don't trust Koz?"

"It aint that. I know Kozic would never cross the line. But I can't get past the fact he betrayed me. Even after all this time." he grinned at the expression on her face. "Yeah, you're right. I should move on and I have, really. I love Kozic, and if anyone is responsible, it's M. She told him we were finished. Bitch thought he'd be a ready supply of smack."

"Yet you forgave her."

"Didn't want to. But she had me wrapped round her finger. I'm a dumb fucker at times." He wrapped his arms around her. "If I had my time again, I wouldn't make the same mistake."

"Is that so? And who would you choose instead?"

"You fishing for compliments, girl?"

Dee chuckled. "You better believe it big man." She looked around. "Where's Lacy?"

"Last time I saw her, she was giving the grunt a hard time about not being careful with her stuff." Happy grinned. "No amount of hazing we do compares to an hour spent with my kid."

"Maybe you should set her on all your hangarounds before they prospect. Weed out the weaklings."

"Good idea, I'll put it to Lee. Shit, if I'd been faced with her, I'd never have got my top rocker."

"Do you think I should intervene?"

"Nah. She's enjoying herself."

Laughing, they watched as their furniture was brought in and left in the appropriate rooms. Kozic scowled as he and Lorca struggled to fit a kingsize mattress through the door. "You actually gonna do some work here, Hap?"

"Wasn't planning on it." He nibbled Dee's neck, causing her to squirm and giggle. "Gotta keep my ol' lady entertained."

Lacy sat on her dresser, her heels kicking the drawers as she watched the prospect assemble her bed. She had to admit he was hot. His blonde hair curled around his collar and he had the prettiest green eyes. Not that he looked at her. If Happy or Kozic caught him as much as glancing in her direction, they would skin him alive. She sighed, at two months away from her sixteenth birthday, she was only eight years his junior. The same age gap as Dee and Hap. It wasn't fair, the boys at school were to chicken shit to defy Happy and there was no way the prospect would be interested in a kid like her. Shit, if Happy had his way she'd still be a virgin at fifty.

"Hey Jason."

"Yeah?" He didn't look up, not wanting to focus on those long legs that went on for days, or those small, but delightfully pert, tits. Shit that kid had jail bait written all over her.

"You thirsty? Dee's got beer downstairs."

"Nah, I'm good. I'll grab one when I've finished this."

"Okay, I'm going downstairs, I need to find the rest of my stuff. Do Not break anything."

"You got it boss." He grinned and their eyes met briefly, he quickly looked away, vowing to stay away from her for the next two years. He knew trouble when he saw it.

"Hey Hap." happy turned to see his kid sashay across the room. Fuck! When did she learn to wiggle like that? Maybe he should get Dee to talk to her. "Wassup sugar?"

"Any idea where those boxes of my stuff are?" She looked around at the crates and boxes scattered around the lounge.

"Don't think they're here yet, there's another load on it's way. Why don't you help Dee put the kitchen stuff away while you wait?"

"And what are you going to do while we're stuck in the kitchen?"

"Man stuff. Nothing for you to bother your little girly head about."

She rolled her eyes. "If you disappear into the garage, you know Dee will be pissed."

"Nah." He held out his arms. "How can she be pissed with this."

Lacy rolled her eyes again. "Whatever." Turning on her heel she headed off to join her aunt in the kitchen while Happy did 'man stuff' in the garage.

It was gone midnight before they got to bed. Dee had managed, amongst all the chaos to cook for his brothers as a 'thank you' for all their help. Tomorrow the removal van with Dee's stuff would be arriving and it would start all over again. But tonight, for a few hours, they could relax and spend the first night in their new home.

Dee smiled as she snuggled into her man's chest. She had never believed in happily ever after and had spent her entire life waiting for the other foot to drop. Now, though, things were different. She had the life she'd always dreamed of and she was going to relish every moment.

Mona lit her third cigarette and paced up and down her kitchen. Lacy had let slip that Dee and Happy had bought a house together! How the fuck did that happen? He didn't love her sister, he loved her. He'd always loved her, even after all those years apart, as far as Mona was concerned she was the one Happy wanted. Why else would he come running back? Time and time again.

She had to get to Tacoma! Stop Happy making the biggest mistake of his life. She had to get that Fucking bitch away from him. There was no way she was going to let them get away with this. Did they really think she was going to let them play 'happy families' with her kid. Oh no, she swallowed the last of her wine. No one fucked with Mona Miller and got away with it.


	14. Chapter 14

I don't own sons of anarchy

FOURTEEN

Happy didn't recall much about his schooldays. There was one teacher however who he did remember. Her name was Miss Robins and she was passionate about the classics, her enthusiasm had rubbed off on him and he would spend his detentions listening to her wax lyrical about art and literature. He hadn't thought about her for decades but as he walked through the front door, one conversation she'd had with him sprang to mind. She'd explained in great detail how most people were wrong when they talked about the seven circles of hell. There were in fact nine.

Happy shook his head as the wall of noise hit him. No, Miss Roberts, you too was wrong. There weren't nine circles of Hell. There was a tenth, reserved just for him. Trapped in a house full of teenagers for all eternity. Shit, he'd give up every vice he had to avoid that.

Lacy was sixteen! Another year closer to adulthood! A new truck sat on the driveway and she was surrounded by her friends and family. She grinned as she looked up and her eyes met those of Happy's. "Hap!" She ran to him and threw her arms around his neck. "I wasn't expecting you to come home."

"If I thought I could get away with avoiding this." He looked over to where a Gaggle of teenage girls were watching the latest boy band, and the few boys who were brave enough to cross his threshold were lurking in the corner. "I would. But if I leave your aunt to deal with all you lot on her own, she'll rip me a new one."

"Oooh I never thought I'd see you under the thumb, Hap."

"Under the jack boot, more like." He kissed the top of her head. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the den."

"Was that Hap?" Dee put the tray of nibbles on the coffee table and looked over to the den.

Lacy grinned and helped herself to chip. "Yeah, I think he's trying to stay out of the way."

"I'm surprised he showed up at all." Her aunt shook her head. "This so isn't his thing."

"He said you'd be pissed if he didn't show up."

"I would, but since when has that stopped him? Hap always does as he pleases."

"I guess it pleases him to keep you happy then."

Dee beamed. "I guess it does."

The den was Happy's man cave. He had given Dee and Lacy free rein when it came to the rest of the house and as a result the place was too damned girly. The kitchen, where they spent most of their time, wasn't too bad and his and Dee's bedroom was tolerable. The lounge, however was all female. He could almost feel his balls shrink back into his body as he crossed the room. Those pastel shades and soft furnishings sucked the masculinity out of him. His space however was a celebration of manhood. The room was dominated by a huge flat screen TV and other than the huge over stuffed leather sofa, coffee table and mini fridge, was empty. The black walls were bare save for a huge poster of a scantily dressed girl astride a tricked out Harley and shelves with stacks of bike magazines, DVDs and CDs. Neither Dee or Lacy went in there. He hadn't banished them, but they both recognised and respected his need for space. His brothers had taken to coming round for Sunday lunch and to watch football. He didn't mind, he loved his brothers after all. But Happy was essentially a private person and he was having trouble adjusting to the concept of having his brothers in his home. Today though, it was a haven of calm amongst the chaos and he had no intention of leaving unless absolutely necessary.

Mona sat in her little hire car at the end of the long winding driveway and watched as the last of Lacy's friends were driven away. She had managed to convince her daughter that she was pleased for her sister and accepted their relationship. Both Dee and happy had been wary of her, but she had kept her cool and they had started to relax. She gave a small smile, sometimes their stupidity astonished her. Well today was the day they would learn just what happened when you fucked with her. She might not be able to stop them being together but she wasn't going to let them keep Lacy. She was her kid and if she said she wanted her back in Bakersfield with her there was nothing they could do about it. She gripped the steering wheel in an attempt to stop her hands from shaking. She would love to have had, at least, one glass of wine to steady her nerves. But one whiff of alcohol on her breath and Happy would call child services and she'd lose her son as well. To say she was nervous was an understatement, Happy was a dangerous man and she was relying on his love for her daughter and the love he once had for her, to keep her alive.

Happy wandered through the now blissfully quiet house, throwing paper plates and cups into a refuse sack and wiping sticky cup rings off all the flat surfaces. Dee wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed his neck. "Leave it till the morning, Hap."

"Nah, it wont take long and if these marks don't get wiped straight away, they'll mark the wood."

She rolled her eyes and let him carry on. She knew he wouldn't relax if the place was a mess. Happy hated messy. "Okay, I'm going to have a shower. Maybe when you have finished your housework you could join me."

"Sarcastic bitch." He grinned and finished wiping. "Keep it warm, I'll be there in a sec."

He was just about to join her when the doorbell rang. Frowning he went to answer it. The only person they were expecting was Kozic and he always let himself in through the back door. He pulled open the door. "Fuck!"

"Hi Hap. Weren't expecting to see me eh?" Mona leaned on the door frame. "So are you going to invite me in?"

"What do you want, M?"

"Why should I want anything? It's my daughter's birthday, is it so unreasonable that I would want to see her?" She tried to push past, but Happy barred her way. "You can't stop me from seeing Lacy."

"You want to see her, There's a diner a mile west from here. Go wait there, I'll bring her to you."

"Oh no. You don't get to dictate where or when I see my own kid. I'm her mother and I demand you let me see her right now."

"You're no mother to her, never have been. This is about me being with Dee." He took a step closer to her and she backed away, Happy could be an intimidating guy when he wanted to be. "I will not let you use that kid to hurt me or Dee. I will talk to her. If she wants to see you, that's fine. Hell if she wants to go back and live with you, I wont stand in her way. But if this is some pathetic attempt at revenge. Forget it."

"You can't…."

"Can't what M? C'mon out with it. What can't I do? I think you are underestimating just what a nasty piece of work I really am. I know as far as the law is concerned I got no rights. But here's the thing, bitch. I aint never held the law in high regard. I would hate to have to hurt you, cos that would mean having to lie to Lacy. But if that what it takes to protect her from a venomous bitch like you, then that's what I'll do." He smiled and Mona shuddered as she looked into those cold emotionless eyes. "We will be at the diner in an hour. If you want to wish your kid a happy birthday, you will be there. If not, well it's all the same to me. You haven't bothered before, why should you now. Now get the fuck off my property before I remove you myself." Happy stepped back and slammed the door in her face.

Shit this was not good. Turning on his heel he hurried to the bathroom to where his old lady was waiting for him to join him in the shower.

"Fuck, Hap. This water's going to go cold."

"Sorry baby girl." He reached in, turned off the water and handed her a towel. "We just had a visitor. I think we need to talk."

"Who?" Dee stepped out and wrapped the towel around her, shivering as the cool air touched her bare arms.

"Mona. Said she just wanted to see Lacy. But I aint buying."

"Oh God, she's going to stir up shit, isn't she?"

"Reckon she's gonna try. I sent her away, told her I'd take Lacy to meet her at that diner down the road." He pulled her into his arms. "I aint gonna let her take Lacy away."

"I don't see how you can stop her, Hap. You can't hurt her. I wont let you."

"I don't plan on hurting her."

"Promise me, Hap. Mona is a bitch, but she's my sister and Lacy's mom and we love her. Despite everything."

"And if she tries to take Lacy away?"

"We let her."

"Just like that? Fuck, Dee. If you think I'm gonna step aside and let that bitch get away with that."

"No, not 'just like that.' We fight her. Through the courts if necessary. You have been awarded guardianship, and since being with you Lacy has been attending school, has stayed out of trouble and has built a relationship with her biological father. You have more rights than you think."

"I'm a felon."

"Yes, but I'm not, and I'm her aunt. Lacy is sixteen now, Hap. The authorities will take what she wants into consideration. It wont be pretty but if we fight her on this, there's a very good chance we will win."

"And if we lose?"

"We accept the court's decision."

"What about Lacy? She gotta accept it too?"

"Happy, we are jumping the gun here. Mona is full of shit, I don't think she'll follow through with any threats. She's pissed cos we're together, but she couldn't cope with Lacy before, what makes you think she could now?" Dee reached up and kissed him. "My sister has never thought about her actions. She's come here all guns blazing, but if we explain the facts to her she'll soon slope off with her tail between her legs. She isn't going to want her record as a mother dragged through the courts, and to be honest I doubt she'll even bother to turn up at the diner."

"Fine, we'll play this your way. But if she hurts Lacy…"

"Happy, if she hurts Lacy I'll kill her myself."


	15. Chapter 15

I don't own sons of anarchy

FIFTEEN

"Wanna take a ride sugar?"

"Sure, can we take my truck?"

"Not unless you want me to drive."

"Haaaap…"

"I told you before. I don't ride bitch. Ever."

"So how am I supposed to learn?"

"Talk to your aunt. Now grab your helmet and move that skinny ass."

With a sigh, Lacy complied. She didn't mind, really. In fact riding with happy was the best. She had broached the subject of getting a bike, but the idea was shot down in flames by both him and Dee. The only reason he was okay with her driving at all was because the truck he'd got her was built like a tank.

Despite her enthusiasm for riding with him, Lacy couldn't shake that feeling of unease. She'd known Happy all her life and could read him like a book. Many would say that he was the master of the unreadable expression, but she could see how tense he was by the set of his jaw and the way he held himself. She tightened the strap under her chin and reaching out, touched his arm. "You okay Hap?"

He gave a tight smile. "Not sure, sugar. While you were upstairs getting changed, we had a visitor."

"Who?"

"Your mom."

"Oh. Shit. Did she say what she wanted?"

"To see you."

"Okay… Hap?"

"Yes sugar."

"She's here to stir up shit isn't she? I mean, she's never come up here to see me before." She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. "What if she wants me to go back to Bakersfield with her?"

"I don't know." He touched her cheek. "I told her to wait at that diner down the road. Why don't we go and talk to her. See what she really wants?"

"Okay. Why are you playing along Hap?"

"Because she's your mom."

"But she's only doing this to hurt you. She doesn't care about me."

"Yes she does. She loves you, Lacy. I know that she has a funny way of showing it, and yes, right now, she's more interested in hurting me and Dee than what's best for you, but she does care."

"So why did she send me away?"

"That wasn't her idea, you know that. It was me who thought it was best for you to live here."

"I know, but she hardly ever calls, never visits."

"Well she's visiting now. So how about we go and listen to what she has to say."

Happy smiled as they walked slowly towards the diner and he felt her small hand slip into his. It was something she only did when she was nervous and needed to draw strength from him. He gave it a squeeze. "It'll be okay Lacy."

He had half expected that Mona wouldn't show, but she surprised him. Looking up from her coffee, she smiled as they approached. "Hey, baby. Happy birthday."

Lacy slid into the booth followed by Happy. "What do you want, mom?"

"I just wanted to see you on your birthday. Do you want something to eat or a drink maybe?"

"Coke, and Hap will have a coffee. What you really doing here?"

"I told you."

"Yeah, but we both know that's bullshit. Where's Jack?"

"Jack's staying with a friend." Mona ran her fingers through her hair and frowned. "You think I just abandoned him or something?"

Lacy shrugged. "How about you answer my question. What Do You Want?"

Happy smirked. "Why don't you tell her M?"

"I just want to talk to my daughter."

"So talk."

"Alone."

"Okay." He stood and touched Lacy's shoulder. "It's alright, sugar. I'll just be outside."

Mona waited until Happy had left the building and reached out and touched her daughter's hand. "I think it's time you came back and lived with me."

"Why?" Lacy snatched her hand away.

"Because you've spent too long away from me and I miss you."

"Bullshit!" Standing abruptly she placed her hands flat on the table and leaned over her mother. "I will not live with you. Ever. Even if you force me to go back with you I will run away. I would rather live on the streets. My home is here with Dee and Happy. Oh, and Kozic." She laughed as her mother's eyes widened. "Yep my dad. The one you tried to keep me away from."

"How did you find out? Did he tell you?"

"No Hap did. See he's not the dumb fuck you think he is. He figured it out, and asked me if I wanted to get to know him. I'll never look on him as my dad, I'm Hap's kid, always will be. But we get along okay. So you see, Mommy dear, I don't need you. So why don't you crawl back to where you came from and stop trying to hurt my family."

"I'm your family."

"No you're not. You've never been there for me, and I refuse to be a pawn in your stupid games. Happy is with Dee whether you like it or not and nothing you do will change that."

"And I'm supposed to sit back and watch you all play 'happy families' am I?"

"Yes you are. Happy loved you for a long time and if you hadn't been such a selfish bitch you could've had what Dee has."

"It wasn't my fault, I was sick, I couldn't help it."

"And you were given a hundred chances to get well. How many times did Dee pick up the pieces? How many nights did I spend a Nana Von's? Who paid to keep a roof over our head and food in the cupboards?" Lacy sneered. "Just go away and leave us alone." She turned and started to walk outside, aware of her mother hurrying behind her.

Happy threw his cigarette onto the ground as Lacy ran towards him, her mother close on her heels. As he watched, he wondered how it was he could have loved Mona so much. She was still beautiful, but that beauty had a hard edge to it. Had it always been there but he had been too blind to see? Grinning, he turned his attention to his kid. "Ready to go sugar?"

"Wait!" Mona caught up to them. "This is your doing Happy. You've poisoned her against me."

He opened his mouth to speak but Lacy jumped in. "No mom, he hasn't. You managed to do that all by yourself. Go home, take care of my brother. Oh and stay off the booze."

"I'm not….."

"Whatever. Hap's going to be in Charming in a couple of months. Tell jack I'll see him then. Goodbye mom." She climbed onto the back of his bike and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Get me out of here, Hap."

Dee snuggled up against his chest as laying in bed, he relayed the events in the diner to her. "You know, Hap, Lacy is one smart kid."

"Yeah, there aint much gets past her. I guess she gets it from her aunt."

"Do you think Mona will get the message?"

"I dunno. Lacy made it perfectly clear where she stood. There aint no way she will live with her mom. Hopefully Mona will back off and leave us alone."

"And if she doesn't."

"Then we deal." He pulled her tighter into his arms. "It's gonna be cool, Dee. Mona can only hurt us if we let her."


	16. Chapter 16

I don't own sons of anarchy

SIXTEEN

Mona leaned against the bar staring at the large glass of jack in front of her. Her daughter's words played over and over in her head. How dare she! Sure there had been times when maybe she didn't measure up as a mother, but she'd done her best. This was Happy's doing. No, it was Dee turning her daughter against her. Bitch had always been jealous, had always wanted what she'd got. Well she wasn't going to get away with this. Just wait. She took a huge gulp of the amber liquid, savouring it's warmth as it slid down her throat. Lacy was her kid and Happy was her man, if she couldn't have them, no one would. She glanced at the clock on the wall. Her flight was in two hours and she had to be on that plane, it didn't mean this was over though, she wasn't giving up without a fight. Ignoring the little voice in her head that was telling her that every word Lacy had said was true, she called the bartender over for a refill.

* * *

Normally nothing on earth would persuade Lacy that going into Dee and Hap's bedroom was a good idea. But she really needed to talk to someone, she wouldn't be able to sleep until she did. Tentatively she knocked on the door. "Are you guys awake?"

Happy grunted and opened his eyes. "Yeah, c'mon in sugar." He squinted in the dim light. "S'up, can't you sleep?"

"No, I just feel so bad. The stuff I said…"

"Why don't you go downstairs and get a drink, I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay." she turned and walked slowly down the stairs and waited in the kitchen for him to join her.

Happy pulled on his jeans and headed downstairs to join his kid. She looked up as he approached and he pulled her into his arms. "This shit with your mom eating at you sugar?"

"I shouldn't have said all that stuff. She'll think I don't love her."

"No she wont."

"But I said she wasn't my family. I know she hasn't always been the mom I wanted her to be, but she didn't deserve that."

With his hands on her shoulders he pushed her away from him so he could look her in the eye. "Lacy, you haven't done anything wrong. Your mom wanted to take you away and you called her out."

"But…"

"Would you prefer her to take you back to Bakersfield?"

"Of course not."

"And do you think that all this was to hurt me and Dee?"

"Yes."

"Then you did nothing wrong" He chuckled. "Shit, sugar you say worse to me all the time. How come you don't lay awake wracked with guilt after giving me shit."

"Cos you're tough and you know that I love you. Mom's not like you, she will take what I said to heart." Blinking away the tears that threatened to fall, she allowed him to pull her close to him again. "What if she gets upset and starts using again?"

Happy tightened his hold on her, this is what Mona always did. She had done it to him time and time again. "Lacy, did she call you?"

"She told me not to say anything to you, that you'd get mad."

"What did she say?"

"She was drunk, Said she'd missed her flight. It's my fault she's drinking again." The tears were falling freely now. "I should've known."

"This isn't your fault sugar. Your mom is responsible for her own actions."

"And Jack? What about him? When I was a kid there was Nana Von, or Dee, or you to take care of me. He's got no one. I'm gonna have to go home and take care of him."

"No you don't. You are sixteen years old, you got school to worry about. The kid aint your responsibility. This is exactly what your mom wants you to do." He kissed the top of her head. "She say where she's staying?"

"Hap, I can't tell you."

"I aint gonna hurt her, I swear." He frowned at her expression. "You don't trust me." A statement, not a question.

Lacy shook her head. "I want to, Hap. More than anything in the world. But I know what you're capable of."

"Sugar, if I hurt her, I'll hurt you, and I'd tear out my heart rather than do that. I just wanna talk to her."

"You promise?"

"When have I ever lied to you?" He grinned. "There's nothing we can do tonight, go to bed. We'll talk about this in the morning."

"Okay." She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "Night Hap. I love you."

"I love you too. Sweet dreams sugar." As soon as she had disappeared upstairs, he lit a cigarette, pulled out his cell and dialled. There was no answer. He hadn't expected one. He listened to the message and waited for the tone. "Mona, do not call Lacy again. If you want to speak to her, call me first. Oh and clean up your act. I will be in Bakersfield in a couple of months. If you don't want me to call child services. you will be sober. Goodbye."

Dee opened her eyes as happy climbed in next to her. "Lacy okay?"

"Freaking out. M got drunk and called her. Kid thinks she has to go and take care of her brother."

"Shit Hap. What are we going to do?"

"We are gonna get some sleep. I will deal with this in the morning."

* * *

In the event there was nothing to deal with. At first light a very contrite and hungover Mona had caught the first available flight to Bakersfield. It was clear on hearing Happy's message that Lacy had spoken to him about what she had said, and she knew she had to get away as quickly as possible. Although she had been reasonably confident that Happy wouldn't hurt her, she wasn't stupid and knew that he would do whatever it took to protect her daughter from any perceived threat. It had been the drink talking, she'd got angrier and more resentful, the more she drank. And her in booze addled mind, one last ditch effort to get Lacy to come away with her had seemed like a good idea. Now though, in the cold light of day, she realized it was most certainly not. Pissing off Happy never was. She was still angry with Dee and hurt by what her daughter had said, but drunken rants in the middle of the night were never going to win her back. She would be sober, calm and loving next time she saw her, the sort of mom she knew Lacy wanted.

Despite how compliant Mona was over the next few weeks, Happy couldn't relax. Both Dee and Lacy had tried to convince him that she wouldn't try anything stupid. She was doing as he asked, not contacting Lacy directly and had apologized profusely for her behaviour promising that she was sober and had been attending AA meetings again. He knew Lacy and Dee were planning on travelling down south with him in a couple of months time and couldn't shake the nagging feeling that this was a mistake. However, as he didn't really have a solid argument against it he had no choice but to agree.

As she climbed into the passenger seat next to her aunt, Lacy could barely contain her excitement. Although she loved living with happy and Dee, she missed her brother and her mom and was looking forward to seeing them and Nana Von again.

Dee grinned at her niece's obvious enthusiasm. She was glad that her and her mom had resolved their differences and even though it looked like Mona would never speak to her again as long as she maintained a good relationship with her daughter, that would be enough. "Ready to go, sweetheart?" Lacy nodded and turned on the radio. She much preferred travelling with her aunt. Unlike Happy, she had decent tastes in music and they would be singing all the way to the motel where they would be meeting Hap for their overnight stay.

* * *

Mona gazed out of the window as her daughter hurried down the garden path. She would have liked to go outside to meet her, but there was no way she was going to have anything to do with her bitch of a sister. Her progress to the front door was halted as she checked her reflection with a frown. Just recently she had noticed how she was starting to look her age. There were shadows under her eyes and her skin had lost it's youthful glow. It looked like the years of substance abuse were finally catching up with her and she knew that she should be taking better care of herself, but the chronic stomach pains that had plagued her for the last year or so meant that eating wasn't always possible. Her doctor had said they would improve if she stopped drinking, but that was easier said than done. She could stay sober for days, sometimes weeks at a time, but whenever she got stressed, the old Mona reared her ugly head and dived straight into a bottle.

Happy would only be able to spend a couple of hours with his mom before heading out to Charming. It would have been nice to have longer but he was joining his Redwood brothers on a run to Vegas. Dee would be staying with her before she and lacy joined him in Charming in four days time. As he watched her struggle out of her chair, it became clear she wasn't going to be able to carry on living alone for much longer although how he was going to broach the subject with her, he had no idea. If he as much suggested she could no longer cope, she would rip him a new one. He smiled as Dee wrapped her arms around his waist. "You want me to talk to her?"

"I dunno girl. I don't know how much longer she can cope. There's no way she'll move to Tacoma and she'll fight going into a home, tooth and nail."

"Leave it with me, Hap. She's less likely to flip at me. If you say anything it'll end up with you and her yelling at each other."

"Have I ever told you what an amazing woman you are?"

"Not often enough, Hap." He kissed him, then turned and followed Yvonne into the kitchen.

Yvonne knew that they were talking about her, and she had a pretty good idea that she knew what they were talking about. She was well aware of her limitations these days and certainly didn't need reminding of them. There were days when she could hardly get from one side of the room to another. That didn't mean that she was going to give up her independence without a fight and there was no way she was moving to Tacoma. Her friends were here and she enjoyed the California sunshine too much. "You kids hungry? There's a pie in the oven." She may be getting old but it would be a cold day in hell before she couldn't cook a hot meal for her son.

"Here let me help." Dee took the pan of vegetables from her. "Why don't you sit with Hap. He wont be here long, and I'm sure you want to catch up."

She would have loved to object, but as she eased herself carefully into the chair next to her son, Yvonne knew that she wasn't kidding anyone. The morning's baking session had exhausted her and she knew it was written all over her face. Her eyes met Happy's. "Not one word, son."

"Wouldn't dream of it ma." Happy grinned. "Can't speak for Dee though."

* * *

The Charming to Vegas charity run was one of Happy's favourites. The clubhouse there always offered the best hospitality although he had no intention of indulging in more than a lap dance. He had given his word to Dee that he wouldn't cheat, and when Happy Lowman gave his word, he kept it. As he and his brothers headed south, carefully avoiding Mayan territory, he couldn't stop the grin spreading across his face. This was what he had always lived for, and it never lessened in it's appeal. But now he had Dee and Lacy, his life was richer than it had ever been. It wouldn't always be perfect, he knew that. But at this moment in time it was about as damn near perfect as it could be. Yup, today, life was good.


	17. Chapter 17

I don't own sons of anarchy

SEVENTEEN

For pretty much his entire adult life, Happy had always put the club above everything, and as far as he was concerned, nothing had changed. He was beginning to think, though, that maybe Lee felt differently. There had been jobs, that in the past would have been handed straight to him, that were now being given to Quinn or other nomads. Nothing had been said and he was still a very active member of the Tacoma charter. It just felt that over the last few months he spent more days working nine till five at Tacoma Auto, and more night sleeping in his own bed than he ever had done before. He hadn't minded, there were enough protection runs to top up his income, and Dee earned good money. So, despite spending more for a care giver to go in daily to help his ma, they were financially secure and he was getting to spend some quality time with his girls. Today though as he watched his President and the big nomad head through the chapel doors, he couldn't help but feel a little pang. He knew that the Mayans had been stirring up shit and the Tucson charter had been badly hit and he guessed it was retaliation time. Pushing himself away from the bar he walked slowly towards the chapel. It wasn't like him to push himself forward. He would always follow orders and if asked would happily volunteer for jobs that others would shy away from. But this should have gone to him, there was a war on and he was a soldier. He should be there. His progress, however was halted by a hand on his arm. "Going somewhere, Hap?"

"Wanna talk to Lee. Shit in Tucson, I should be there."

Lorca grinned. "Wssup, bro? Feeling all left out?"

Happy shrugged. Was that it? "Nah, but this job has my name all over it. Reckon Lee thinks I'm going soft."

Throwing his head back, his VP roared with laughter. "He doesn't think you're going soft, you fucking moron. Lee knows you'll go wherever he sends you. No one's given more to this club than you. But you're a family man now."

"Don't make no difference."

"Yes it does, Hap. I love this club, and will lay down my life if necessary. But I got an ol' lady and a bunch of kids at home, they need me too. It's about balance. I go on runs and do what I need to do for the good of the club, but I don't get seconded to other charters or take jobs that will keep me away from home for weeks or months at a time. I leave that to the nomads or brothers without families. It don't make me soft, it makes me a husband and father."

"Dee's okay with me going away."

"Maybe she is. But she shouldn't have to be. There will always be times when your particular talents will be needed, but don't go putting yourself in the firing line just to prove you're a good son. No one thinks any less of you because you make time for Dee and your kid. Family is what the sons are all about."

Running his hand across his head, he sighed and headed back to the bar. What Lorca had said made sense. Although it wasn't unheard of, as a rule the nomads didn't have old ladies and it was usually his younger, single brothers that would spend long periods away with other charters. He'd never really thought about it before and he certainly wouldn't call any of his brothers with families soft, but it was clear that the ones with long successful relationships, were the ones who got the balance right.

* * *

The drive from Dee's office to their house was only fifteen minutes. Barely long enough to clear her head before the long tree lined driveway came into view. She loved her new job as a legal adviser for a small charity. It was engaging without being too demanding and she felt that what she was doing was worthwhile. She had only been working there for a couple of months, but was already feeling like she belonged, something she'd never felt before.

At home too, things were going really well. Happy was around a lot and Lacy had finally stopped trying to fight the world. They had been living in the house for twelve months and it had quickly become a second home to many of Happy's brothers. Kozic would drop by once or twice a week to see Lacy and Quinn would always stay when he was in town. Dee would never be much of a party animal and rarely visited the clubhouse but was more than happy to entertain at home, so Sunday lunches or barbecues in the summer were becoming commonplace.

Despite Happy's concerns, Mona had not really caused any trouble. Sometimes, if she had been drinking she would make, what could only be described as abusive phone calls. But none had reached Lacy's ears, and Dee had ensured that child services were keeping a close eye on her, so mostly she was behaving. Whatever sympathy Dee had for her sister, had long since disappeared. No one could have helped her more, yet it had never been enough. She had known that her being with Happy would drive a wedge between the siblings, but if she had thought for one moment, that he and Mona had a future together, she would have stayed away. She knew Happy loved her. But sometimes, after one of those drunken calls, or when he watched Lacy goofing around with her friends or with Kozic. There would be an expression on his face that could only be described as regret, and, whenever she saw it, Dee's heart would leap into her throat. It was irrational, she knew, he was committed to her. But she would get the horrible feeling he was settling for second best. Fortunately, those feelings never lasted long, in fact, as soon as he turned to her and smiled, they would fly away.

The only real blip on the horizon was Yvonne. Happy was paying for someone to go in every day for a few hours, but it was looking like that wouldn't be enough. She was pretty unsteady on her feet and had fallen a couple of times. It had been a shock, the last time they had visited, just how frail she was becoming. But her spirit was as strong as ever and was determined to stay in her own home for as long as she could.

* * *

Lacy twirled and checked her reflection in the mirror. The dress was perfect, it clung to her curves in just the right places and showed off her best assets. All she had to do was figure out how to get it past Happy. There was no way on earth he would let her out of the house wearing it, in fact, she could hear him now. "Get the fuck back up those stairs sugar and cover yourself up. Aint going out looking like a whore." She sighed. He had never shown any interest in what she wore before and now suddenly, every thing was too short, too low cut, or too tight. He had all but banned her from going to the club house, even at family gatherings, he watched her like a hawk, snarling at any brother that dared look her way. She was trying not to fight him over this, but he was becoming overbearing and even Dee couldn't get him to back off. As far as he was concerned he was protecting her, although she wasn't sure what from. Word had spread far and wide that the killa's kid was off limits and as a result she hadn't found anyone brave enough to even kiss her. It didn't make her any less determined to lose her virginity though. She was well aware of how men looked at her, and as she got older it was clear she had inherited her mother's sex appeal. Happy couldn't watch her all the time, and judging by the prospect's blushes when she smiled at him, it was only a matter of time until she got her way. She was her mother's daughter, after all.

* * *

Yvonne scowled at the brochures in front of her. Assisted living! Ha! Just because they put a kitchen the size of a postage stamp, in the corner didn't mean she'd be independent. It was bad enough that she had to put up with that nosey bitch coming round every day and reporting back to Happy every time she as much a stumbled. But there was no way she was going to be bullied into going into a home. This was Happy's doing. Next time she saw him she would so put him in his place. Leaning back against the cushions, she closed her eyes. Hopefully she'd get the chance soon. She missed him so very much.

* * *

Mona started awake at the sound of the front door banging. "Jack, is that you?" Wiping her hand across her brow in an attempt to wipe away the ever present headache, she slowly pulled herself to her feet. "You hungry?"

"Sure." Jack sat at the table and watched as his mom put together a sandwich with shaky hands. Vaguely, he wondered whether he should maybe mention how sick his mom looked to someone. He didn't think she was drunk, he kind of knew what that looked like, but she was real pale and thin and was tired all the time. He took the plate and a glass of milk and sloped off to his room, at least when she was like this, she didn't nag at him to sit at the table. Maybe he wouldn't tell anyone, after all, she wasn't complaining or being sick or anything.

As soon as her son had left the room, Mona sank into the chair and rested her head on the table. She just felt so ill all the time these days, it was like just one long hangover. All she wanted to do was sleep. She knew the cause, it was no great mystery. Her liver was failing and unless she stopped drinking, she would die. She was trying, but it was so hard. Jack was a pretty easy going kid, but she was so lonely and sometimes she found herself in dive bars looking for company and a little respite from her shitty life. She had to be careful, child services had been sniffing around, thanks to her whore of a sister. She might not be the best parent in the world, but she did love her kids and she wasn't prepared to lose another one. She had been sober now for nearly a month. Lacy was coming to visit in a couple of weeks, and she needed to be as sober and healthy as possible. Maybe, this time, she would be able to persuade her daughter to stay.


	18. Chapter 18

I don't own sons of anarchy

EIGHTEEN

Lacy sat in the back yard of her mom's house and stared at her phone. It would be easier to call Dee and get her to talk to Happy, but she couldn't do that. It wouldn't be fair. She dreaded calling him, but she knew she had to man up and tell him herself. Taking a huge breath, she pressed 'call.'

"Hey sugar. S'up?"

"Hey. Can you come to mom's? I really need to talk to you."

"Problem?"

"Please, Hap. I need to see you."

"Okay, I can be there in five." Pushing down the panic that was rising in is throat he stalked through his mom's house. "Dee, I gotta go to Mona's. Lacy just called."

Dee looked up with a frown. "She okay? You want me to come?"

"Nah, stay here. Ma will be waking up soon. If there's a problem, I'll call you."

There had never been a time when the sound of Happy's Dyna wasn't like music to Lacy's ears. Right now, however, the roar of those straight pipes as he came down the road was the last thing she wanted to hear. Reluctantly she walked slowly to the front of the house and sat on the front steps awaiting his arrival.

Lacy didn't even give him a chance to kill the engine before she ran to him. "What's this all about sugar?"

"Can we take a ride? I really want to talk to you, but not here."

"Sure." Taking off his helmet, he handed it to her. "Get on."

They didn't go far, just to the park that she'd always loved as a kid. They dismounted and he led her to a bench overlooking the duck pond. Lacy sat next to him and stared at her hands. "Mom's real sick, Hap."

"Sick how?"

"Dying sick."

"Shit. You sure, this aint Mona's usual bullshit?"

"Shit hap! You really think she'd stoop that low?" Lacy sighed. "I know she's done some shitty things, but this is for real."

Happy took her hand. "I'm sorry sugar. I wish there was something I could say that would make things better."

Resting her head against his shoulder, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm going to stay here."

"What?"

"When you go back to Tacoma, I wont be coming with you. I have to stay here. Mom needs me." She shifted as she felt him tense up. "Hap?"

"She ask you?"

"No."

"She tell you she's dying?"

"She didn't have to. I've got eyes."

"Is there anything I can say that will make you change your mind?"

"No."

"Okay." Abruptly, he stood and without a backward glance marched back to his bike.

"Hap." Lacy trotted behind him, trying and failing to blink away her tears. "Say something, please."

"Nothing to say, sugar." He held out his helmet and waited for her to climb on behind him. As soon as he felt her arms snake around his waist he pulled away.

She was holding on too tight, her face buried into his back. It made riding difficult but they didn't have far to go and he couldn't bring himself to tell her to relinquish her grip, she was obviously upset and he didn't want to make her feel worse.

He stopped outside Mona's house and as soon as Lacy had dismounted pulled away, leaving her staring behind him. He should have said something, reassured her that it didn't change the way he felt about her. That he would always be there for her. Instead, he did what he always did when he was overcome with unfamiliar emotions. He rode. And rode. Out of town and through the desert, not caring that he was getting deeper into Mayan territory, or how the sun was burning his face. Despite pushing his bike harder than he'd ever done before and the fact that he was riding on the jagged edge, the noise in his head was as loud as ever and the tightness in his chest showed no sign of abating. Over and over again, he tried to tell himself, his kid would only be a day away. They had been apart before, and they would survive another separation. He was trying, but it wasn't working. The voice of reason was being drowned out by the one screaming that he was going to lose her.

Lacy laid on the bed and buried her face into the pillow as her phone rang again. She knew it would be Dee, which meant Happy had taken off and hadn't returned. Shit, she had handled this all wrong and now Happy was pissed, which mean he'd probably come back and take it out on her mom, and there was no way she was prepared to stand back and watch that happen.

Her mom's appearance had shocked her to the core. She was practically all skin and bone, her hair was limp, her complexion sallow and her eyes were sunken into their sockets. Even worse was how weak she clearly was, the slightest exertion exhausted her. Despite her protestations that she was fine, and it was just a virus, it was obvious that Mona was very sick indeed. With a sigh she sat up, as the sound of a Harley filtered through the window. Shit, Happy was here.

Happy dismounted and walked slowly towards Mona's front door. After riding for hours, and still not being able to rid himself from the noise in his head, it seemed that the logical thing to do was to go and see for himself just how sick Mona really was. He looked up as the front door opened and suppressed a gasp at the sight of the woman standing before him. In two strides he covered the ground between them, pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her hair, only pulling away at the sound of that low husky laugh, he had always loved.

"Shit, Hap. Do I really look that bad?"

"Lacy said you were sick."

"It's nothing. Really, I'm getting better."

"Do I look stupid, M?" Taking her arm, he led her round to the back of the house and sat on the swing on the porch. "Sit."

She sat next to him, her hands folded in her lap. "Lacy's overreacting."

"No M, I don't think she is." He tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "You know she's planning on staying?"

"Yeah, she told me yesterday. Are you pissed?"

"No, not pissed." He looked out over the yard. "I just don't want to lose her."

"You wont."

"Wont I? I lost you." Mona moved closer and he slipped his arm round her shoulders. "You gonna die M?"

"Yeah, I think so." She closed her eyes. It felt so good to be close to him. "If…When I do, will you take care of Jack? I know you don't really know him, but Dee does."

"Sure."

They fell silent, both lost in their own thoughts, until it was broken by Mona. "I'm sorry Hap, for all the shit I put you through. I don't blame you for staying away." She sighed. "I never stopped loving you."

"I never stopped loving you either."

"Even though you're with Dee now?"

"I love Dee. I have a life with her I could never have had with you. But you and me girl." He chuckled. "Fuck, that's once in a lifetime shit."

"I really fucked up, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you fucked up."

"Lacy said you put your mark on Dee."

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Told you. I love her. She's a real good girl."

"Unlike me."

"You aint exactly old lady material, M."

"No I guess I'm not." She touched his hand, running her thumb over the ornate ring he always wore. "We did have fun though. Some of the time."

"We had fun a lot of the time."

"I'm scared Hap."

"Yeah, figured you would be."

"Will you stay? Just tonight."

"You know I can't do that."

"Yeah, I know, sorry I shouldn't have asked." She frowned. "Why are you here, Hap?"

"Not sure, Got a lot of noise in my head." He swallowed. "If Lacy is determined to stay, I wont try to stop her. Don't know how long you got. But she has the right to have a relationship with her mom again, even if it's only for a short while."

"Thank you."

"I aint doing it for you." He closed his eyes as her hand tightened around his. "You got everything you need?"

"Pretty much."

"I don't want Lacy skipping school. You need taking care of, you hire a nurse. If you can't afford it. I'll pay."

"Okay."

Happy stood and held out his hand. "C'mon I want to talk to Lacy." She took his hand and they walked slowly back into the house. As soon as she was settled on the sofa, he headed upstairs and knocked on Lacy's door. "Can I come in sugar?"

"Sure."

She was sitting in the middle of the bed, her legs crossed, Indian style. Happy sat down with his back against the headboard. "I take it you heard all that?" He indicated to the open window.

"Yeah."

"I meant what I said. On Monday we will get you into the local high school and you will go every day."

"Okay."

"If it gets to the stage that your mom can't take care of herself she get's a nurse. That is not your job."

"Okay. Hap I…."

"No. Don't talk. Listen. You will call me or Dee at least every other day. And if your mom starts drinking and staying out. You will tell us." He looked around. "Where's your brother?"

"Staying at a friend's. Did you mean what you said? About taking care of him, if…if…."

"Of course. Dee wouldn't have it any other way."

"You do love Dee don't you?"

"You know I do."

"But what you said, out there, to mom."

"Me an' your mom, sugar, we got a lot o' history. Nothing's gonna change that."

"You told her that you love her. Is that true?"

"Yeah, but it aint like you think. Dee is my old lady, I love an' respect her. I promised her that I wouldn't cheat, and I wont. Nor will I leave her. How I feel about your mom is different. I wish I could explain it but I can't. I don't want to love her, haven't wanted to for a long time. I just can't help it."

Lacy crawled closer and placing her head on his chest, wrapped her arms around him. "That's fucked up, Hap."

"Yeah it is."

"Hap?"

"Yes sugar."

"I'm a bit scared."

"I know. But I'm only a day away, and you can call any time, day or night. You need anything, anything at all, just ask and I'll do whatever it takes to see you get it."

"You sure you're not pissed?"

"I'm sure."

"I love you so much. Happy." She squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to quell her tears.

"I love you too. More than you'll ever know"

He waited until she was asleep then quietly slipped downstairs and let himself out the back door. Not wanting to wake her or her mom up he wheeled his bike to the end of the road before starting it up and heading back to his ma's where old lady was waiting.


	19. Chapter 19

I don't own sons of anarchy

NINETEEN

Sitting on the porch at the front of his ma's house, the end of his cigarette glowing in the dark, Happy tried to put his thoughts in order. More than anything he wanted to crawl into bed next to his old lady and fall asleep in her arms. Something, though, was stopping him and he wasn't entirely sure what it was. He loved Dee, he knew he did, even if he didn't feel he deserved her. But back there, with Mona. All those feelings that he thought had disappeared had come bubbling back to the surface, and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with them.

Lacy was right, it was fucked up. But then, when it came to him and Mona, fucked up was all they knew.

He looked up as the front door opened and Dee stepped out clutching two bottles of beer. Handing one to him, she sat next to him on the step and linked her arm through his.

"What's going on, Hap?"

"Mona's real sick. Lacy's planning on moving back in with her."

"And you're okay with that?"

"Not really. But it's what she wants, so I guess we aint got much choice but to go along with it."

"How can you be sure this isn't Mona getting up to her old tricks again?"

"She's not. I've seen her. She's dying, Dee."

"Shit. I don't know what to say." She squeezed his arm. "It's getting late, how about we go to bed. We can talk in the morning."

"You go on up. I'll join you in a bit."

Sighing, she got to her feet. "Okay, don't stay out here too long."

"I wont." As she closed the door behind her, he pressed the cold bottle against his forehead and closed his eyes. He was shutting her out, and by doing that he was hurting her. But telling her how he felt would hurt her even more. He pulled out another cigarette and lit it, squinting at the sudden flash of light. He had no intention of going up to bed until he was sure she was asleep. It was cowardly and he hated himself for it, but in all the years he'd known Dee he'd never lied to her, and she would push him to share his feelings. How could he tell his old lady that he was still in love with her sister? Maybe tomorrow, in the cold light of day, he'd feel differently and he'd be able to look her in the eye and say he felt nothing for Mona. That it was just the shock at seeing her so sick that had got him all bent out of shape. Yeah, that was it. He'd just have one more cigarette then he'd go join his old lady. In the morning they would talk and everything would be just fine.

As soon as he opened his eyes the following morning, he knew he'd been kidding himself. Carefully so as not to disturb Dee, he eased himself out of bed and headed for the shower. Maybe he could get out of the house before she or his mom woke.

"Going somewhere, son?"

"Thought I'd take a ride." Happy gave his ma a tight smile and turned back towards the door.

"Oh I don't think so. The coffee's on. How about you sit down while I pour you a cup?"

With a sigh, he did as he was told and watched as, leaning on her cane she walked slowly across the kitchen and handed him his coffee. "Thanks ma."

Yvonne smiled and sat opposite him at the kitchen table. "So you going to explain why you're avoiding Dee like the plague. This is down to Mona isn't it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't." She took a sip of her coffee. "Yesterday morning you and that girl of yours were all over each other like a couple of lovestruck teenagers. You get one call from Lacy, drop everything, spend all day, God knows where. Then when you finally come home you sit outside on the doorstep smoking-and you can pick those butts up, by the way-rather than joining her in bed. What's going on Happy?"

"Mona's sick."

"I thought as much the last time I saw her."

"You knew?"

"I didn't know, but I suspected."

Happy swallowed. "Lacy wants to stay with her."

"Well I hope you shot that idea down in flames."

"How can I? Mona's her mom."

"If you leave Lacy with her, history will repeat itself."

"Lacy's a good kid."

"She's a good kid because she's got you and Dee reining her in. Take that away and I guarantee she will go the same way as her mother. You cannot let this happen."

"Lacy needs this chance to reconnect with her mom. I don't particularly like the idea, ma. But if Mona dies before she can do that."

"You really think that could happen? Mona is that sick?" She touched his hand as their eyes met. "Oh son, I'm so sorry, but you can't let this get you all twisted up."

"I'm fine."

"Sure you are. Mona still has as much as a hold on you as she always did and if you're not careful she's going to ruin what you and Dee have."

"Aint gonna happen."

"It already has. You're already avoiding Dee."

"That's bullshit." He stood and turned to leave. "I aint listening to this."

"Happy Lowman. You stay right where you are." Yvonne hauled herself to her feet, pulled herself to her whole five foot nothing and with her finger pointed at him advanced on her son. "This nonsense with Mona stops right now."

"And how do you propose I do that? How she makes me feel. You think I have any control over that? You think I want to love her?"

"Oh Happy, none of what you feel for Mona is real. You don't love who she is, you love who she was." She poked him in the centre of his chest. "Do not throw away your future for a ghost of the past."

Happy chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "Obviously I didn't inherit your brains, ma."

"I'm pretty sure you did, which is why you are going to turn round, walk up those stairs and make things right with Dee before you screw up your relationship beyond repair."

"You aint gonna rest till I do are you?"

"No, I'm not."

Rolling his eyes, he turned and headed back up the stairs and walking softly into the bedroom sat on the edge of the bed.

"Hap?" Dee stirred as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Was beginning to think you're avoiding me."

"Nah, just got a lot o' noise in my head. I know we got things need talking about, but I wanted to get everything straight in my head first."

"We're not just talking about Lacy are we?" When he didn't answer she sat up, the cover falling down, exposing her perfect tits. "Talk to me Hap."

"I dunno what to say, girl."

"Shit, you still love her don't you? After all this fucking time." He reached out to touch her, but she pulled away. "Where does that leave me? Why put your mark on me if you still loved her? Why tell me you were done? Were you using me, is that it?"

"Using you? What for?"

"I don't know." She ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm just trying to figure out why you'd lie to me."

"I've never lied to you Dee."

"So you don't love Mona, you feel nothing for her at all."

"I love you."

"Answer the question Hap. If you have any respect for me at all, you will tell me the truth."

"I have always respected you, Dee. And I swear on everything that I hold dear that when I told you me and M were done I was telling the truth. But after yesterday, shit, I don't know. For the first time in years we sat and talked. No dramatics, no recriminations, just talked. And it just felt like old times I guess."

"Did you fuck her?"

"Jesus Dee! No. Fuck! What do you take me for?" Abruptly he stood and started to pace around the small room. "You are my old lady, and I aint gonna do anything to risk losing you."

"I don't want to lose you either, but you have no idea what it's like, knowing that you'll never love me like you loved her."

"Dee." He sat back down and took her hand. "I am gonna say this once. Whether you believe me or not is up to you. Me an' Mona. That was some pretty intense shit, and I aint gonna pretend that I never loved her, or that seeing her yesterday didn't stir those old feelings up again. But that doesn't change how I feel about you. I think you are the most amazing woman I've ever met, you're smart, funny and sexy as hell. Shit, girl, you're the only woman I'd ever considered putting my mark on." He brought her fingers up to his lips. "No, I don't love you like I loved her. But it aint a matter of more or less. It's just different."

As his mouth came crashing down on hers, taking her breath away with it intensity and ending any possibility of further discussions on the matter, Dee realised that every word he had said was true. It had probably been the longest speech he had ever made. But as his rough hands made their way down her body and he positioned himself between her legs his lips never leaving hers, she knew that this was how he expressed it best. Happy loved her, and always would.


	20. Chapter 20

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY

Dee sat in Yvonne's cluttered but comfy lounge waiting for Happy to return. He and Mona had taken Lacy to the high school to get her registered and although she wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea, she had kept her opinions to herself. This wasn't about her, it was about what was best for Lacy.

Yvonne had been extremely vocal about what a bad idea she thought this was and Dee was inclined to agree with her. Lacy needed boundaries and without them, she was going to find herself in all sorts of trouble. She could, however, also see Happy's argument. This was the last chance for Lacy and Mona to rebuild their relationship and despite any misgivings any of them might have, it wasn't fair to deny them that.

She sighed, the house was too quiet. Yvonne was at her day centre, and with no distractions, all those old insecurities came bubbling back to the surface. Without even trying, Mona was coming between her and Happy. She had made it abundantly clear that while she would accept any help that he would offer, as far as she was concerned, Dee was dead to her. That had hurt. A lot. Mona's rejection of her was bad enough. But the fact that Happy had made no move to defend her, was even worse.

As the sound of his Harley split the air she painted a smile on her face. If Happy decided it wasn't her he wanted to be with, she'd make damned sure it wasn't going to be because she'd turned into a needy, whining bitch. "Hey. How'd it go?"

"Pretty good. Lacy can start next Monday, and she'll be assigned a mentor to help if there's any areas she's struggling with."

"That's good. How's Mona?"

Happy shrugged as a look of pain flashed momentarily across his face and he turned away. Dee took a deep breath as another piece of her already fragile heart broke away. "Hap?" Tentatively, almost afraid of what she would see, she reached out and touched his arm.

He turned back and pulled her into his arms. "I love you Dee. Don't you forget it."

"Doing my best, Hap." Her arms snaked around his waist and she buried her face into his chest. "I love you too."

* * *

Lacy sat on the step blinking away her tears as the sound of Happy's bike faded away into the distance. They'd had such a lovely day. She'd had lunch at Yvonne's and got to spend a few hours with Dee. Then in the evening Hap had taken her out on the bike. They had ridden for miles, just the two of them speeding along the little used highways that snaked through the foothills. It was unusual for him to ride this fast when she was riding with him, but Lacy wasn't afraid, Happy would never let anything happen to her. Eventually, though he had pulled over in a forested area and led her to a picnic area deep in the trees. For a while neither spoke, they just sat lost in their own thoughts, the only sound was the whispering of the wind through the trees and the singing of the birds. Lacy examined the profile of the man she considered to be her father. He looked calm, serene almost. The only thing giving away what he was actually feeling was the tiniest tic in his cheek as his jaw clenched.

He turned and gave her a smile. "I guess it's time for the ground rules, sugar."

"I don't suppose we could give those a miss Hap?"

"Now you know that aint gonna happen." He chuckled. She loved to hear him laugh. "The only reason I'm agreeing to this, is because I trust you not to fuck it up. I'm expecting you to go to school, and if you find yourself falling behind, you will tell someone."

"Okay."

"The same rules that we have at home, apply here. You don't go out without letting your mom know where you're going. You don't stay out all night…."

"Hap, please. I get it. I swear I'll be good. The only reason I'm staying is to be near mom."

"I know sugar. But you got some rough times ahead."

"And you think that when the going gets tough, I'm gonna turn into my mother? Gee Hap, thanks for the vote of confidence."

"That aint what I'm saying."

"Yes it is. I get it okay. My dad was a junkie, my mom has abused every substance known to man, and when she wasn't getting out of her head she was fucking random strangers for the price of a fix. You're scared I'm gonna do the same. Don't try and deny it Hap."

"Okay, yeah. I'm fucking terrified. Not just that you'll get into drugs, but that some asshole is gonna fill your head full of shit an' take advantage of you. I know you think you're all grown up, an' I've seen the way men look at you. But you're still my little girl, Lacy, and I hate the fact that I'm not gonna be around to protect you."

"I'm nearly seventeen. I'll be fine." She grinned. "I'm going to let you into a little secret, Hap. Most kids my age don't have an enforcer as a guardian, and they survive just fine."

"You think I'm being over protective?"

"Just a little." She kissed him on the cheek. "It's okay, I like being the safest kid in Washington State."

"Well you aint in Tacoma now." He held out his hand. "Give me your phone."

With a sigh, she handed it over and watched as he started to key in numbers. "Hap, I don't need an MC hotline."

"Indulge me, okay. I've put Tig's number in there, you need anything and you can't get me or Dee, call him."

"Tig? Really?"

"Yeah I know he's crazy, but he's a good guy and you can trust him." He grinned at her sceptical expression. "If Quinn is in the area, I'll get him to check in on you."

"Oh this gets better and better." Lacy rolled her eyes. "Happy, I promise I will do everything you ask."

"I know, sugar. I'm just having trouble letting go."

"Really? No shit. I'd never have guessed."

"Sarcastic bitch. C'mon, let's get you home."

Reluctantly, she followed him to his bike. She didn't want the day to end. He and Dee were leaving for Tacoma in the morning, and more than anything, she wished she was going with them. She fastened her helmet and looked up, her eyes meeting his. "This is really hard, Hap."

"Yeah, sugar. It is."

They hadn't spoken after that. Even after she'd climbed off his bike, neither had spoken. He'd just reached out and touched her cheek, before gunning the engine and riding away.

* * *

As the weeks went by, Lacy settled into a routine of sorts. She attended school on a pretty much regular basis, hardly skipping lessons at all. She was determined not to let happy down, and was staying out of trouble. Most of her spare time was taken up by her mom or her younger brother in any case. After all, they were the reason she was there. At weekends, if he wasn't staying with friends, she would take Jack to see a movie or to go bowling. He was a pleasant kid, easy going, maybe a little too quiet, but good company and she enjoyed the times she spent with him. In the evenings she would settle down and watch a chick flick with her mom, or if she felt well enough, go for a short walk to the park to feed the ducks and watch Jack ride his bike. Sometimes, when Mona was too sick to get out of bed, she'd take a day off school. She knew Happy would be pissed if he found out, but she didn't care. There was no way she was leaving her mom when she was like that. On good days, when Mona was feeling strong enough, she would come home from school to a home cooked meal and they would all sit round the table to eat, at least she and Jack did. Mona didn't eat much these days, but at least she'd make an effort. Lacy loved days like that, when she could pretend her mom was fine and that were a regular family.

As promised, she made regular calls home, usually to Dee, Happy was never one for small talk, and would visit Yvonne at least once a week. She still missed her little family in Tacoma, especially Happy. But life in Bakersfield wasn't so bad.

"Hey baby girl."

Lacy looked up from her home work as her mom made her way slowly across the room and sank onto the sofa. "Hey. Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm good."

"You should eat, mom."

"I know, I will later. Can you leave that for a minute and come and sit with me?"

"Sure." Closing her book, lacy crossed the room and tucking her legs under her, sat next to her mother. "You okay?"

"Not really." She gave a tiny smile. "I saw the doctor today. He thinks I should go into hospital."

"So why are you here?"

"What's the point? It's only putting off the inevitable. I can't eat, Lacy. Nothing stays down any more. Just getting out of bed exhausts me, I'm tired, baby girl. Tired of feeling like this."

"Stop. I'm not going to listen to this." Lacy stood and turned to face her mom. "I know you've been having a rough time. But the hospital can fix you up, make you feel better. You can't just give up. What about Jack? What about me?"

"You'll both be fine. Happy will take care of you."

"He shouldn't have to, mom."

"No he shouldn't. But he's done a better job with you than I ever could. I'm sorry Lacy. Really, I am. These past few weeks have been wonderful, I am so grateful I got the chance to get my daughter back." Her voice faltered and she closed her eyes. "I know I've not been much of a mom, but I do love you. Don't ever forget that."

"I love you too." Lacy sat back down and rested her head on Mona's shoulder, blinking away her tears. "You know Jack doesn't want to go to Bakersfield don't you?"

"Yeah. Happy terrifies him. I do have a plan B though."

"Oh, care to share."

"The family he goes to stay with all the time. They have fostered kids in the past, in fact it was child services who hooked us up when I had to go into hospital for a few days last year. They have a kid the same age, and he and Jack get on really well."

"You've talked to them about this?"

"Yeah, they're happy to take him in."

"So why did you ask Hap?"

"Because I would prefer it if you and your brother were together. You're his only family."

"That won't change, no matter where we live." She sat up straighter. "If there's one thing Happy has taught me, it's that family is about more than blood. Jack should be where he feels most comfortable. There will always be a place for him in Tacoma if thing don't work out here."

Mona smiled and took a deep shuddering breath. "You're a good girl, Lacy. I'm so glad you didn't take after me."

"You're not so bad, mom."

"When I'm not getting stoned out of my mind and fucking random strangers, you mean?"

"Yeah, something like that." She smiled and took her hand. "How about I help you get into bed. You look done in."

As soon as she got her mom settled, Lacy ran downstairs, picked up her cell and dialed.

"Hap?"

"Hey sugar. What's up?"

"I need you here. I can't do this on my own."

"Okay. I can be there by tomorrow evening. Just hang on in there, sugar. I'm on my way."


	21. Chapter 21

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY ONE

"Dee." Happy marched into the kitchen and laid his hand gently on her shoulder. "Lacy just called. Kid's freaking out, we need to get to Bakersfield."

"Okay. When you planning on leaving? I'll sort you some clean clothes, where are your saddle bags?"

"Aint taking my bike, sweetheart. We can take the truck, share the driving."

"Hap you can get there quicker on your bike. Me coming will slow you down, and Mona isn't going to want me there."

"You wont slow me down, and I want you there."

"But.."

"Dee, just shut the fuck up and get your shit together. We'll leave as soon as we've eaten."

"Hap, I've got work."

"Fuck work. Your sister is dying, your niece is in pieces and your man needs his woman by his side."

"Okay, hap. I get it, you want me there." Reaching up she touched his face. "You know I love you, right?"

"Yeah, reckon you told me a few times." He bent and kissed her. "Now get packing, I'll finish the cooking."

"On it. Oh and try not to burn the house down."

"Smart mouthed bitch." Grinning, he slapped her ass then turned his attention to the steaks.

They drove through the night, sharing the driving between them. They didn't talk much, the only thing breaking the silence was the soft rock on the radio and the incessant chatter of the DJ. Dee closed her eyes and rested her head against the passenger window. In less than an hour they would be in Bakersfield and once again she would be pushed to the sidelines while Happy danced attendance to her sister. Silently she berated herself for having such uncharitable thoughts. Mona was dying, and despite any bad blood that was between them, she did love her. She knew that this was why Happy wanted her there. To give them the chance to make things right before it was too late. She sighed. Mona may have forgiven him, but she couldn't see that same forgiveness being offered to her.

"You okay?"

She opened her eyes at the feather light touch on her thigh. "Thinking too much."

"Hard not to, girl."

"I'm okay, Hap."

He nodded and fell silent again. Dee, once more closed her eyes. Happy was never much of a talker and certainly didn't feel the need to keep reassuring her that it was her that he loved. Right now though, it would have been nice to hear it.

When, fifteen hours after they set out, they arrived at Yvonne's house they were both in need of a shower and a few hours sleep. Happy, however, immediately left for Mona's place, still eating the slice of toast his mom had made him.

Yvonne touched Dee lightly on the arm. "Why don't you get some sleep. You look tired out."

"I'm okay. I'll wait for Hap to come back."

"Nonsense. He could be gone for hours. If he needs you He'll let you know. Sitting here fretting isn't helping anyone. You've been on the road all night in that uncomfortable old truck. Now go to bed."

"I'm not fretting, Yvonne."

"Sure you aint. Please don't tell me you're still worried about Happy and Mona. Oh sweet Jesus, you are aren't you?" Taking Dee's hand she hobbled to her battered old sofa. "Sit."

With a sigh, Dee did as she was told.

"Now you listen to me missy." Yvonne sat in the armchair opposite with a wince. "That son of mine has wasted way too many years on your sister before finally pulling his head out of his ass and seeing what had been in front of him all along. I'm not going to lie to you and say he never loved her because we both know the truth, and maybe it's unfair of me to ask this of you. But please be patent with him. He'll probably try to deny it, but spending time with Mona is going to stir up old emotions, and if you let him, he'll start pushing you away. None of this means that he loves you any less. He just doesn't know what to do with what he's feeling. Happy's a fixer, but he can't fix this and it's going to tear him apart."

"I know that he loves me, Yvonne. At least that's what my head is telling me."

"And your heart?"

"That I'm the consolation prize."

"Oh sweetheart. You so are far from being that. Happy loves you, really loves you. He would never set you aside for her."

"I hope you're right."

"Oh, when it comes to Happy, I'm rarely wrong."

* * *

More than anything, Mona would have loved to run into Happy's arms. But watching as he hugged her daughter she had to content herself with standing, one hand clutching the door frame, and waiting until he came to her. As their eyes met, she made a supreme effort and on shaky legs took a step towards him. "Hey."

"M." Suddenly she was in his arms. "Oh shit, baby girl." He gently led her to the sofa and sat her down. "You gonna explain why Lacy would be freaking out enough to want me here?"

"I guess it's because I don't want to go into hospital."

"Why?"

"Because I've had enough."

"Not your call, M." He turned to where Lacy was leaning against the door watching their exchange. "Go call the hospital, sugar. Tell them your mom is on her way."

"No." Lacy walked over and sat on the other side of him. "If mom wants to stay here then she should."

"If you don't want her to go into hospital, why did you call me?"

"Because she doesn't want to have to deal with me dying on her own, you dolt." Mona, shifted and gasped as the pain shot across her abdomen. She held up her hand at the expression on Happy's face. "I'm okay."

"Sure you are." He touched her face and closing her eyes she leaned into his touch. "Please go to the hospital, M."

"I can't Hap." She closed her eyes. "If I'm going to die, I want to do it in my own home."

"Shit, you sound like my fucking mother." Happy he ran his hand over his head. "You really think me an' Lacy are gonna sit here an' watch you die? You either get your ass to the hospital or I'm outta here an' I'm taking Lacy with me."

"That's not fair Hap."

"Don't care M."

"Fine." She didn't have the strength to argue. "Lacy, do as he says."

Lacy grinned and pulled out her cell. "You know you can't argue with Happy."

Mona laid back on the crisp white pillows and scowled. "You can stop looking so smug. I'm still pissed with you Lowman." The drive to the hospital had nearly killed her, but now the pain killers were starting to kick in and with fluids being pumped into her body, she was feeling just a little better. She wasn't going to tell him that, though.

Happy smirked. "So you aint feeling better then M?"

"Yes I'm feeling better. But then I always did like morphine." She smiled and touched his hand. "Still going to die, though."

Happy pulled a chair closer to the bed and sitting down, pressed her fingers to his lips. "World's gonna be a duller place without you in it."

"If I could stay I would, Hap." She closed her eyes and a solitary tear ran down her cheek. "Will you stay with me?"

"Of course."

* * *

As she watched Happy and her sister through the window, Dee felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. As soon as he'd called and said that Mona was in the hospital and didn't have long left, she hadn't hesitated. If there was the smallest chance that Mona would see her she'd take it, and if not she needed to be there to support Lacy and Jack. She had tried to tell herself that the only reason Happy was there, was some misguided sense of loyalty. But now, watching him stroking her hair and kissing her fingers, she knew she was kidding herself. She didn't care what he said, she really was only second best. She turned on her heel and hurried towards the nearest exit, desperate to get as far away from them as she could.

As she rounded the corner, two coffee cups in her hands, Lacy caught a glimpsed the sight of her aunt disappearing through the doors at the end of the corridor. One look through the window into the room where her mother was laying, told her why. "Oh shit. Happy you are such a fucking idiot." She followed Dee out into a small courtyard. "Dee, wait up."

Dee sighed and waited for her niece. "I'm okay Lacy."

"Sure you are." She sat on a stone bench overlooking a rose garden. "You know that Happy loves you?"

"I know he says he does." She took a cup from lacy. "But you saw what he's like with your mom."

Lacy sighed and rolled her eyes. "Dee, I love you and you are the smartest person I know. But sometimes you really are dumb. Back there, what did you see?"

"You know what I saw."

"No. I know what I saw. Hap does love my mom, but not like you think. I didn't see a man in love with a woman back there. I saw a man comforting a dying friend. All ever I see when they're together is guilt, regret and pity." She grinned at Dee's raised eyebrows. "When Hap watches you organizing a barbecue or goofing around with his brothers when they come for dinner, he's so proud of you. It's written all over his face. Shit, Dee. He worships the ground you walk on." She kissed her on the cheek. "I'm going back in. You can come in with me, or you can sit out here boohooing cos you think Happy don't love you enough."

"Wow. I guess I should consider myself told." Dee gave a shaky smile. "You go on in. I'll join you in a bit." She watched as her niece headed back into the hospital, and took a sip of the coffee. She should go back in, but it was nice out here in the sun, and she couldn't bring her self to face them.

The door opened again and she turned and watched as Happy approached. He grinned. "Think you've stolen my coffee, girl."

She smiled and held out the cup. "Take it please, it's disgusting."

He sat next to her and took a sip with a grimace. "Why you out here Dee?" When she didn't answer, he frowned. "Did I, or did I not tell you that you are my old lady and I love you."

"Yes." Her voice was tiny. "I know I'm being irrational, but I can't help it. Mona was always the beautiful one, the one you really wanted."

"Told you before that I wasn't gonna keep repeating myself. This aint about me or M. This is about your insecurities. And right now Dee, I aint got the energy to deal with them. Your sister is dying and she's scared and in pain. Now I aint gonna leave Lacy to deal with that on her own, so I'm afraid you're just gonna have to suck it up." He stood and threw the cup in the bin before marching away without a backwards glance.

"Hap. Wait, please." He stopped, but didn't turn round. "You're right and I'm sorry." She touched his back, flinching as she felt him tense up. "Please don't be mad at me. Not now, I couldn't stand it."

"I aint mad." He brushed her hand away and continued walking. "Got people who need me."


	22. Chapter 22

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY TWO

Suck it up? Dee scowled and watched his retreating back. Suck it up. What the fuck did he think she'd been doing? All her fucking life, that's all she'd done. Kept her head down, her lip buttoned and picked up the pieces. Good old dependable Dee. Oh yeah, she was the perfect old lady. Reliable, undemanding, pathetically grateful for any scraps of affection thrown her way. No wonder he kept her around.

Slowly she followed him and watched as he resumed his vigil at Mona's bedside. She took a deep breath and pushed open the door. "Hap, can I have a minute with my sister please."

Mona scowled as Happy nodded and gave up his chair. "I'll be outside." He touched her hand and left the room, barely acknowledging Dee.

"What do you want, Dee."

"I don't know. To talk I guess. To clear the air."

"You want me to forgive you? Is that it? Cos if you do, you're going to be disappointed."

"Forgive me? For what?"

"For taking Happy from me. You couldn't fucking wait could you. You're pathetic, do you know that? Always lurking around on the side lines wanting a piece of what I had." Mona pulled herself into a more upright position, grunting with the effort.

"I didn't take Happy away from you."

"You got that right, bitch. He might have put his mark on you. But who did he drop everything and come running to?" She smirked as a look of pain flashed across her sisters face. That barb had hit home. "He will never love you like he loved me and you know it. Doesn't matter what he says. You know that if you stepped through that door right now and begged him to go with you and leave me here alone, he'd refuse. I might be dying but I will go to my grave knowing that I was his one true love. If you live to be a hundred you will never measure up. Now why don't you fuck off and be the dutiful little housewife that you're so good at being."

"You finished?" Dee stood and leaned over her sister. "Good. You've said your piece now I will say mine. I came in here hoping that we could put the past behind us and, I don't know. Say our goodbyes as sisters. You don't want that, fine. But you will hear what I have to say. All my life I have picked up after you. I've paid your debts, taken care of your kids and stood silently by as you have infected everyone around you with your poison. Not because I wanted a what you had, but because I loved you. And yes I loved Happy and I hated watching you treat him like shit because he's a good man and he deserved better. Maybe you're right and Happy wont ever love me like he loved you, I don't know. But I do know that it doesn't matter. Because you will be dead and we will be together. And despite what you think, he is with me because that's where he wants to be. I'm sorry that you are prepared to go to your grave hating me, but I will not let it affect the rest of my life. I don't feel guilty and I don't want your forgiveness. I just thought you might like the chance to redeem yourself. Guess I was wrong. Goodbye Mona." She straightened up and walked out with her head held high.

"You okay?" Happy frowned as she walked past him, failing to meet his eye.

"Would it make any difference if I wasn't?" Happy said nothing and she sighed. "Thought not. You'd better get back in there."

"Hey. Where you going?"

"Anywhere but here."

* * *

Lacy sat on the hood of Happy's truck and watched as Dee walked across the lot and out onto the street. Part of her wanted to run after her aunt and stop her from leaving, but after arranging for Jack to be picked up from school and a long discussion with his new potential foster carers about the best way to tackle the subject of his mothers imminent death, she didn't have the energy. And if she was honest she was a little pissed with her for bailing. She needed her and so did Happy.

* * *

When she had walked out, Dee had no idea where she was heading. She just wanted to get as far away as possible. She just walked, paying no attention to her surroundings, driven, not by anger not even by pain just an all pervading feeling of loss. She was done with all of them. Mona, Happy, even Lacy. They had all taken every last piece of her until there was nothing left. She was empty, just a big hole where her heart had been. And with no idea where that left her, she carried on walking until she found herself standing outside the Greyhound bus terminal. There was no plan, she just needed space. And as she handed over her credit card, all she knew was the reason she had chosen that destination was that the bus was leaving in ten minutes, and she had to get out of town as fast as she could.

* * *

Lacy stood in the corridor watching Happy bring a glass of water to her mom's lips. She had no idea what had been said to cause Dee to walk out but she had no doubt that her mother had something to do with it. Closing her eyes, she leaned her forehead against the glass. Even now on her deathbed, Mona was driving those who loved her away. No, not this time. Lacy squared her shoulders. She would not let her aunt be treated like this. She pushed open the door. "What did you say to Dee?"

Happy turned and scowled. "Not now Lacy."

"When then? Tomorrow, the next day. When we're putting mom in the ground?"

"I said not now, Lacy." Happy's voice was low and menacing, and any other time she would have backed down. But this couldn't wait.

"I know what you said Hap." She turned to her mother. "What did you say to Dee?"

"I didn't say anything." Mona barely had the strength to speak. Her altercation with Dee had exhausted her.

"Bullshit. There's no way Dee would have walked out if you hadn't said anything."

"Lacy." Happy stood and loomed over her. "You will stop this now."

"Or what Hap? You gonna send me away too? Shit. Open your eyes. Even on her fucking deathbed, she is playing her games." Again she turned to her mother. "What did you say to Dee. Tell me, or I walk."

"The truth. I told her the truth."

"The truth?"

"I told her that Hap would never really love her. That he kept her around cos it was easy. That she was pathetic.

"Shit." Happy ran his hand over his head. "Shit. Why would you say that M?"

"Because this is what she does Hap." Lacy whirled on him and unleashed her fury. "And you let her. You must have known that this is what she'd do, but you stayed here while your old lady walked out. You know what, you two really deserve each other. If you lose her because of this, you'll have no one to blame but yourself."

Mona gave a tiny smile. "Oh please. Dee wont go anywhere. You can keep beating that one with a stick and she'll still come back for more." She frowned as Happy turned and headed for the door. "Where are you going?"

"To find my old lady."

"No you can't go. You promised you'd stay. Please Hap. Don't leave me." She turned to her daughter. "This is your doing. Why couldn't you keep your nose out, you interfering bitch…No wait. Lacy. Where are you going? Don't leave me here alone."

"Hap. Wait up."

Happy stopped and waited for his kid to catch up. "where do you think you're going sugar?"

"I'm coming with you."

"Oh no you aint. You're gonna stay with your mom."

"But she said…"

"Don't care what she said. Just get your skinny ass back in there and make things right." He took her face in his hands and looked deep into her eyes. "You will never get another chance Lacy. If you don't forgive your mom, it will eat you up inside. I can't let that happen."

"I don't want to go back in there on my own."

"I know sugar. I'll call ma, get her to come and sit with you. As soon as I find Dee, I'll come back."

* * *

Yvonne picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Ma, it's me. I fucked up. Dee took off, I gotta go find her. I need you to get a cab and come to the hospital to sit with Lacy. Mona aint got long left and the kid shouldn't be on her own."

She sighed. "Okay son. I'll get Joe from next door to give me a ride. I'll be there as soon as I can. You go find your girl and makes things right."

"Might be too late for that."

"It's never too late. Just go and find her."

* * *

"Dee. Please I'm going crazy here. Just pick up the Goddamned phone." Happy wasn't exaggerating. For what seemed like hours he had cruised the streets, checked bars, called old friends. Each time coming up with nothing. He must've called her a dozen times, but she'd switched off her phone. Pulling up at the side of the road, he rested his head against the steering wheel and closed his eyes. "Shit baby girl. Where the fuck are you?"

* * *

She hadn't been on a bus since being at school, and after less than an hour, she never wanted to be on one again. Closing her eyes she tried to block out the gossiping old ladies the over loud phone calls and screaming babies. She hadn't been thinking when she'd bought the ticket, and even as she'd boarded the bus, it hadn't occurred to her that this might be a bad idea. Now, though with the prospect of a seven hour journey ahead of her she realised it was. She opened her eyes as the bus pulled up at a stop. Charming! She was in Charming. Quickly she got to her feet and headed for the exit. The bus driver frowned as she made to leave. "Hey lady, this aint your stop."

Dee smiled. "It is now."

As the bus pulled away she looked around trying to get her bearings. It wasn't a place she knew well, but she had a pretty good idea where she should be heading.

"Tig."

"Shit Gemma, what now?" He grunted as his foot was kicked again and rolled out from under the car. "Do you want me to fix this car or….Oh. Hi doll."

"Hi."

"Where's Hap?"

"Bakersfield. Um. Is there somewhere we could talk." Dee looked over to Gemma who was listening to their exchange with interest.

"Sure doll." He led her into the cool of the empty clubhouse and closed the doors behind them. "So what's going on?" Dee looked at her hands. "Did you and Hap have a fight?"

"No, yes…I don't know."

"Shit. How can you not know if you've had a fight or not? If I have one the bitch knows it. Fuck half the town knows it."

"It wasn't a fight, exactly. But hap said some stuff and I got upset and took off."

"Took off how?"

"On a bus."

"A bus to Charming?"

"No. A bus to Tahoe. I didn't know it came through Charming."

"Why the fuck did you want to go to Tahoe?"

"I didn't. It was just the first bus out of town."

"Wow you were that upset."

"Yeah."

"So why get off here?"

"Because going to Tahoe is a really stupid thing to do."

Tig grinned and grabbed two beers from behind the bar. "Hap know where you are?"

"No."

"You planning on telling him?" She shrugged. "You plan on telling me what's going on." Again she shrugged. "Listen, if you don't want to talk to me, I'm cool with that. But if you don't call Hap and let him know you're okay, then I will."

"I will, just not now."

"Yes, now. Dee." He scowled as she made no move to get out her phone. "C'mon, Doll. Clock's ticking."

"Please Tig. I need to get things straight in my head before I speak to him."

"I aint telling you to call and give him a speech about feelings and shit. Just call him and let him know you're alive. Poor fucker is probably going out of his mind."

She sighed. "I doubt he's even noticed I've gone."

Tig rolled his eyes and held out his hand. "Phone." As soon as she handed it over he switched it on. "Nine missed calls. I'd say he noticed." Before he had the chance to hand it back, it rang. "Yo…. It's Tig….. Yeah she's here….On the bus…. Yeah bus…. I don't know…..Nah, it's cool bro I can do that….You wanna speak to her?" He held out the phone. "Here speak to your old man."

She took the phone. "Hey."

"Hey, girl. You pissed?"

"I don't know. I was."

"Why are you in Charming?"

"Because that's where I got off the bus. Decided that running out on you wasn't what I wanted to do."

"Good to hear. Listen, Tig will give you a ride back here. Get him to bring you to ma's. I'll meet you there."

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"You got nothing to be sorry for. I'll see you later. Call me when you get into town."

"Okay. Hap?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Are we okay?"

"I Hope so. I'll see you soon."

It felt strange, riding with Tig. Both his and Happy's bikes were similar and both had many years experience under their belts. But unlike Happy who's riding style was fluid and smooth. Tig was more, for want of a better word, aggressive. He would accelerate and brake sharply and he'd throw his bike into the bends more. Dee didn't feel exactly unsafe, but it was a relief when they pulled up outside Yvonne's little house. He chuckled as she dismounted on shaky legs. "Didn't scare ya, did I doll?"

"Were you trying to?"

He grinned. "Maybe a little." He climbed off and held out his arm. "C'mon. Hap will be waiting."


	23. Chapter 23

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY THREE

Happy stood at the window and watched as Tig accompanied his girl across the yard. He couldn't quite believe how close he'd come to losing her and as soon as the front door opened he swept her up into his arms. "I'm sorry Dee. I don't know what else to say."

"Shit, Hap. You aint gonna win any man points, grovelling like that." Smirking, Tig leaned on the doorframe.

Happy raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Blow me asshole." His arms tightened around her. "Thanks for bringing her home."

"Anytime, bro." He stood up straighter and patted him on the shoulder. "I'm gonna head back. Try not piss her off again. Next time she might get all the way to Tahoe."

Dee disentangled herself from Happy's arms and standing on tiptoes, kissed Tig's cheek. "Thank you."

"Was a pleasure doll."

Happy frowned. "You were riding like a crazy fucker so she held on tight and pressed her Tits against your back, weren't you?"

"Shit Tig. Tell me that isn't true."

He waggled his eyebrows and gave her what could only be described as a salacious grin. "They are very nice tits, doll."

"You are a sick and twisted asshole."

He kissed her on the lips and winked. "And don't you forget it. Take care doll." He raised his hand. "See ya, Hap."

"See ya, and thanks."

As soon as they were alone. Happy took her hand and led her into the lounge. "You hungry? There's chilli, I can heat it up."

"I'm fine." Dee sat down and waited for him to speak.

"I fucked up, Dee." He sat next to her and took her hand in his. "I took you for granted and that was wrong. What Mona said. It isn't true. I love you, want to spend the rest of my life with you." Dee looked at her hands and he frowned. "Say something, Dee."

She looked around. "Where's Yvonne?"

"At the hospital, didn't want the kid to be on her own. Dee, please. Talk to me."

Dee stood and walked towards the door. "You should be there with Lacy, come on, I'll come with you and give your mom a ride home. Then I really need to get some sleep."

"We aint going anywhere until we've talked."

"Nothing to say, Hap." She carried on walking only stopping when he grabbed her arm. "Lacy needs you. You should be with her."

"You're pissed, Dee. I get that. But please don't shut me out."

"I'm not pissed, I'm just tired." His hand fell away and he followed her to his truck.

Yvonne looked up from her knitting as her son and Dee entered the room. Both Lacy and Mona were asleep and the only sound for the last couple of hours had been the clicking of her needles. Her smile faded when she saw the expression on Happy's face. Something was definitely not right between them. "Everything okay?"

"We're fine." Dee's smile failed to reach her eyes as she held out her hand. "Come on. I'll take you home. Happy will stay here."

Yvonne said nothing and allowed Dee to help her to her feet. She wasn't sure that Happy should be staying there, but she was tired and uncomfortable and in desperate need of her own bed.

"Try and get some sleep." Happy touched Dee's arm. "I'll call you if…"

"Okay." Without looking at him, she took Yvonne's arm and led her slowly down the corridor, leaving Happy staring behind them.

Normally in situations like this, Yvonne would have plenty to say. When it came to Happy's relationships, she wasn't above metaphorically banging heads together whenever she thought it was necessary. This time though, for the entire journey, there was something about Dee's demeanor that prevented her from speaking out. She looked tired, but it wasn't just that. It was like there was a wall around her and Yvonne didn't know how to find her way in. Lacy had told her what Mona had said, and how Happy had done nothing to defend her. She sighed and stared out of the passenger window. There was a very good reason she wasn't asking Dee what was wrong. It was that she didn't think she wanted to hear the answer.

Lacy opened her eyes and stretched. "Hap, when did you get here?"

Happy grunted and opened his eyes. "Couple of hours ago."

"Is Dee….?"

"Dee's fine. She's at ma's getting some sleep."

"And everything's okay with you two?" Without waiting for an answer, she swung her legs over the side of the cot she'd been sleeping on, and walked over to where Mona was sleeping. "Has she woken up?"

"Not since I've been here."

"Do you think she will?"

He shrugged. "She was restless earlier." For some reason he didn't mention that the doctor had been in earlier and had said that she was responding well to the drugs and was starting to rally a little, and it wasn't because he didn't want to get her hopes up.

Lacy pulled up a chair and sat next to him. "You look tired. Have you had any sleep?"

"A bit. I'm okay." Mona started to stir, and he reached out and touched her hand to calm her. "Could do with a coffee and something to eat though, sugar." He handed her a twenty. "There's a shop by the entrance, how about you go an' get us some sandwiches or something."

As soon as she was out of sight, he locked the door and closed the blinds before turning back to the figure on the bed. Mona stirred and opened her eyes as Happy pulled a syringe from his inside pocket. "Hap. What are you doing? What's that?"

"Just a little cocktail that I keep in my bag of tricks for occasions such as this." He smiled. "Didn't ever want to have to do this M. But the doc seems to think you're doing pretty good. Might even have a few more months left in you. And who knows the damage you could do in that time. I can't let you hurt anyone else."

"No, Hap. Please, you can't kill me. I love you. You love me."

"No M. I love Dee, in a way I could never love you. And you very nearly destroyed what we have. I warned you what would happen if you hurt her or Lacy." He reached out and stroked her hair. "Don't worry, it'll be completely painless." He disconnected the line going into her vein and emptied the syringe into it, before reconnecting it again. Immediately her eyes started to close. "Reckon you got an hour maybe two before your body finally gives up the ghost. Looks like the doc got it wrong. It's such a shame when that happens."

"You wont get away with this." Her voice was barely a whisper.

He chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Oh Mona. That is so clichéd. And, oh yes I will. You are already staring to lose consciousness, and it's not like you don't already have morphine in your system. You're due some more in about an hour aren't you. Don't worry I'll make sure they know how much pain you're in. You see, I don't look on this as murder. This is an act of humanity. I'm putting you out of everyone else's misery."

He waited until he was sure she was fully unconscious then unlocking the door, he sat back down and waited for Lacy to return.


	24. Chapter 24

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY FOUR

Lacy slipped her hand into Happy's as they sat next to Mona's bed. The doctor had been in and seemed surprised at how quickly she had gone downhill, but had explained that this sometimes happened. She had expected her mom to go out kicking and screaming, but this was peaceful and nowhere near as traumatic as she had envisioned. Her aunt had arrived a short time ago but hadn't joined them at the bedside. Instead she leaned against the wall on the far side of the room, her eyes never leaving Happy, an unreadable expression on her face. Silently, they waited as almost imperceptibly Mona's chest stopped rising and falling and finally became still. Happy reached forward and checked her pulse. "She's gone."

Without a word, Dee pushed herself away from the wall and walked out, not even acknowledging Happy or her niece.

"I think maybe you should go after her, Hap."

He nodded and without a word, followed Dee down the corridor and into a small chapel. She didn't turn or even look up as he sat next to her on one of the long wooden benches. "Was this you, Hap?"

"Dee, I.."

"Just a simple yes or no will suffice." She turned and stared at him with cold emotionless eyes. "Did you just kill my sister?"

"Dee."

"Answer me."

There would be no point in lying. She'd see straight through him. "Yes."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "She tried to drive you away. That shit she said to you. You think she'd had left it at that? The doc said she was getting better, that she could live for months if she took care of herself. She would have spent that time trying to tear my family apart."

"So you took matters into your own hands."

"Yeah."

"You must have realized that I'd know."

"To be honest, girl." He grinned. "I underestimated you."

"Story of your life Hap."

"You gonna walk away?" He couldn't bring himself to look at her. Afraid of what he might see.

"No Hap. I don't think I am. I do need a little time to wrap my head around what you've done, though. I'm kinda freaking out here."

"Would you have preferred me to lie?"

She shrugged and stared up at the flower arrangement at the front of the chapel. "Do you know when it was that I first realized that I loved you?" When he didn't answer she continued. "I must have been about eight or nine and you were about sixteen. Mona had stolen a bottle of scotch from that asshole that mom was living with at the time. When he found out, he went ape. Grabbed her by the hair and dragged her into the house. You followed them in and said it was you. That Mona had nothing to do with it. I remember watching him hit you over and over with his belt and you never made a sound. You just took the punishment so Mona would be spared, and all the time, she watched, loving every moment. It broke my heart. You were so brave and noble. But even then, all Mona saw was a sucker."

"I loved her. Didn't want to see her get hurt."

"I know, and so did she. It killed me, Hap. Watching her use you again and again. Each time I'd hope that you'd would walk away, but you never did. You have no idea how wonderful it was to finally, after all those years, be with you. Oh, I knew that there were other things that would take precedence. The club, Lacy, Yvonne. But yesterday…The things Mona said, the things you said. It hurt so much."

"I know and I'm sorry. I've always had a blind spot when it came to M. But yesterday, shit, Dee, I thought I'd lost you. That's why I did what I did. I couldn't let her do this to us, to you, any more."

"This isn't going to come back and bite us, is it?"

"No. You were there Dee. She went quiet and peaceful. There'll be no autopsy. She was already dying. I just helped her on her way."

Dee nodded and stood up. "We better get back to Lacy. There's things I have to organize."

He watched as she headed for the door. "Are we okay, Dee?"

"Yeah. I think we are."

* * *

It wasn't much to show for a life. Lacy held her brother's hand as they followed the coffin into the chapel. The only other mourners apart from Yvonne, Happy and Dee were the people who Jack would be staying with. There were no flowers, no one to stand up and give a eulogy. She wondered if she'd ever be able to properly grieve. Surely normal people cried when their mother died.

"You okay sugar?"

She turned as Happy touched her arm. "I think so. I don't really feel anything."

"It'll come, don't worry."

"And you? Are you okay, Hap?"

"I'm fine." Apart from being wracked with guilt for killing his kid's mom, his old lady's sister. He'd never felt bad about killing before. He wasn't sure what sort of man that made him. All he knew was that for the past week he couldn't get what he'd done out of his head. Every time Lacy looked at him, he hated himself. He felt Dee's hand slip into his, and immediately felt a little better. He wasn't sure what he'd have done if she had walked away. Squeezing her hand, he turned to her. "I love you Dee. Thank you for staying."

The journey back to Tacoma was tense. Lacy couldn't quite put on her finger what was wrong with Happy. Things were okay between him and her aunt, in fact they seemed closer than ever. In fact it was her he was distant with. She sighed, more than anything, she wanted to talk to him. But squashed in the truck between him and Dee wasn't the place to do it. Instead she leaned against him. With one hand on the wheel he slipped his other arm around her shoulders and Lacy closed her eyes, contenting herself with the knowledge that no matter what was going on with him, it wasn't that he didn't love her.

* * *

Quinn watched as Happy crossed the clubhouse. Kozic had told him that he'd just buried his ex and he felt a little guilty for what he was about to ask him to do. He pushed himself away from the bar. "Yo, Hap. You got a minute?"

"Sure." Happy turned and joined his former president at the bar.

"Got a job Hap, need a good man at my back."

"Okay, where and when?"

"I know you probably got a lot a shit at home right now, and I'll understand if you wanna pass."

"I said okay, Quinn." He gave a lobsided grin. "To be honest, man, I could use a run."

"Bit more than a run, Hap. You remember Dixon?"

"Asshole from Salt Lake. Yeah I remember him."

"He's hooked up with a bunch of separatist assholes out Reno way, been hitting Mayan heroin runs and torched the Grim bastard's clubhouse."

"Why would that involve us?"

"He's doing this while wearing club colors. Clay has managed to smooth things over, explained he was a renegade. But if we want to avoid a war, he has to be stopped." Quinn took finished his beer. "So far he's proving to be a slippery fucker. I guess he knew the club would come looking and has gone to ground and I know how you love a good manhunt."

Happy grinned. "So when do we leave?"

* * *

Dee wondered if watching him leave ever got any easier. Somehow she doubted it. Lacy was pissed that he was leaving so soon after they got back, and to be honest, she didn't blame her. Yes this was what he did, and they had to accept that aspect of his life, but Dee was sure this had more to do with his guilt over Mona's death than him being needed by the club. She was pretty sure he didn't regret what he did, but he could hardly bring himself to look Lacy in the eye. She could only hope that things would improve on his return. She started as a hand touched her shoulder. "You okay, little girl?"

"Shit, Quinn, you damn near gave me a heart attack." She smiled. "I'm okay, I guess."

"Don't worry, I'll keep him safe." He tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "I know you've had a rough few weeks, I promise I'll get him back to you in one piece as quickly as I can."

"Hey, you hitting on my old lady?" Happy looked up from fixing his saddle bags and stalking over to them, pulled her into his arms. "Lacy still sulking?"

"Yeah, maybe you should talk to her before you go." Dee kissed him softly, her hand resting on his chest. "She's scared she's going to lose you as well."

* * *

Lacy looked up as her bedroom door opened and Happy walked in. "Hey sugar, you still pissed with me?"

"I bit. I just don't know why you have to go so soon. I've hardly seen you since we got back."

"I know, Lacy. I'm sorry." He sat on the bed next to her. "I got a lot going on in my head, an' I've been shutting you out. I guess I aint good with feelings and shit, but I promise, as soon as I get back I will make time for you."

"When will that be?"

He shrugged. "Not sure. A while." He leant over and kissed the top of her head. "Yeah, I know. I'm a selfish asshole. But I do love you, and I will be back as soon as I can."

Lacy must've heard this speech a hundred times, and she knew she'd hear it a hundred times more. "I know Hap. I love you too. Just come back to us whole."


	25. Chapter 25

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY FIVE

The women that hung around the various clubhouses he visited came in all shapes and sizes. From the very young, naïve girls looking for a bad boy and a way to piss off mommy and daddy, to the beat up old whores with no where else to go. The woman who was currently pressing herself up against Quinn's thigh, fell somewhere in between. She was attractive enough in the dim clubhouse light, but was way past that first flush of youth. Almost unconsciously he fondled her ass as he watched his brother head outside.

They had been on the road for two days and were resting up in Vegas while they figured out their next move. It seemed that Dixon had fallen off the face of the planet and despite using Juice's skills to see if he'd left any sort of electronic paper trail, they'd come up with nothing. Quinn wasn't worried, sooner or later he'd show himself, and as soon as he did they'd get him. He was, however, worried about Happy. He wasn't the most talkative of the sons, in fact, that was one of the reasons Quinn enjoyed riding with him so much. But this was more than just his usual quietness. They had been friends for nearly twenty years and in that time Quinn had learned to recognise his brothers moods better than most. Often people believed that Happy was cold and emotionless, this however, was not true. He felt the same as everyone else, he just hid it better than most. He turned to the girl, he wasn't sure of her name, Candy? Cindy? Fuck, who cared. "Get me another beer, I'll be back in a sec." Pushing himself away from the bar he followed his travelling companion outside. "Yo, Hap. Wait up."

Happy stopped in his tracks, feeling his jaw clench as Quinn jogged behind him. "S'up, bro?"

"Could ask you the same question, Hap." He slung his arm around Happy's shoulder and pulled a joint from the inside pocket of his cut. "I think you an' me need a little chat." Quinn led him to a low wall and sitting down, lit the joint and passed it straight to him. "Talk to me, Hap."

"'Bout what?"

"About what ever it is that's got you spun out. There's a fucking party going on in there, an' you're acting like it's a wake. Shit man, I aint saying you gotta fuck every available pussy. But would it kill you to crack a smile now and then? And maybe acknowledge your brothers?"

"You seriously giving me shit cos I aint in the mood to party?"

"It aint just that, Hap, and you know it. You've been, I dunno, off."

"Off?"

"Yeah, off. You're quiet, even for you. Something's eating at you Hap, an' I'm guessing it has to do with Lacy's mom. Please don't tell me you're still bent outta shape over that gash."

Happy took a pull on the joint and scowled. "If it don't affect the way I get shit done, it aint none of your concern."

"C'mon man, We've been friends an' brothers a long time. If I didn't think you had your head in the game, I'd let you know. I'm just showing brotherly concern, is all." Quinn chuckled. "And to be honest, I don't wanna be looking at your miserable face for weeks on end."

"Been a tough couple of weeks, Lacy losing her mom, Dee losing her sister."

"If you think you should be with them, go back to Tacoma." Quinn narrowed his eyes. "It aint that, is it? I know you Hap, this is about you. If it was about that kid or your old lady, you'd be calling home every five minutes."

"Me an' Lacy's mom were together a long time. I guess her dying got to me."

"And that's it?"

"I guess." Happy looked out over the lot. There was a huge part of him that would love to offload onto his brother. He knew Quinn wouldn't judge him. Despite this, he stayed silent, his jaw clenched, refusing to make eye contact.

"Well if you're sure that's all it is. I'll leave you alone to brood." Quinn stood. "I aint an expert on shit like this. But you got a good woman at home, so I suggest you get this out of your system before you go back to her. She's worth ten of that gash you put in the ground and she don't need to see you still getting bent outta shape over her, especially now she's cold."

"Dee's okay. We're okay." Happy fell silent. He'd never be able to explain the reason he killed Mona. Hell, he couldn't admit that even to himself.

Knowing that Happy had said all he was going to say on the subject, Quinn turned and walked back to the clubhouse. He knew that whatever was going on in his friend's head wouldn't affect the way he did his job, and if he didn't want to talk, he wouldn't push him. Especially as he had a cold beer and warm pussy waiting for him inside. He pushed open the door and sauntered over to the bar where Candy, or Cindy was waiting.

* * *

The name 'Hope Farm' conjured up many images, none of which would be even remotely accurate. It certainly wasn't a small holding with a quaint ranch style house and chickens scratching in the yard, nor was it a huge sprawling ranch with herds of cattle spread over thousands of acres. There was a house, although it was run down to the point of dereliction and the barns hadn't housed livestock for decades. The place, however wasn't abandoned. Dotted around the place were motor homes and trailers, where there was once cattle were now jeeps and trucks and the cellar under the house was now an arsenal containing some serious heavy weaponry.

Dixon strutted across the yard. These were his kind of people, people with real convictions not the wishy washy liberals the sons had turned out to be. True he missed the comfort of his nice cozy home and the freely available pussy the clubhouse afforded. But it was a small price to pay for not having to play nice with fucking spics and blacks like he'd had to with the sons. Technically, of course, he still was a son. He hadn't been stripped of his patch, and he still had the reaper inked on his back. It was just that he was a lone wolf now, with no charter to call home and no brothers watching his back. Maybe, if he's have headed out east, the nomads there would have accepted him, although he knew Quinn's reach spread far and wide, and once he had rejected him, he suspected the same would go for any other charter, nomad or otherwise. He'd be lying if he said it hadn't stung. He's given over two decades to the club, and the only thing he had been guilty of was ambition. Sure, he'd got to where he had by blackmailing King, but others had done much worse, he was sure. And he would have kept the charter pure. He wouldn't have allowed non whites through the clubhouse doors, and there was no way he'd do business with niggers and chinks. As far as he was concerned the club was fast turning into a laughing stock. He was pretty sure that after torching the Grim Bastards clubhouse, that he was a marked man. He had hoped by doing it he would trigger a turf war, and he and his new buddies would reap the benefit of lost business on both sides. He had, however, underestimated Clay's influence and the long standing truce still held. Even the Mayans, had been convinced that to retaliate was a foolish move, although, he was pretty sure a couple more hits, and they would refuse to believe that they weren't sanctioned by the club. The fallout from that could be extremely profitable. All he had to do was stay out of the club's crosshairs for a short while and he would be a very rich man. He had heard that Quinn and Happy were on the hunt and he'd be lying if he said that didn't make him nervous. His source in the Vegas clubhouse, though was pretty sure they had no idea where he was.

* * *

Candice gritted her teeth as the big nomad pounded away inside her. She had a pretty good idea why him and that cold eyed tattooed bastard were there. At the first opportunity, she had latched onto Quinn. It had been a risky thing to do. If happy had recognized her from the Salt Lake clubhouse, she'd be in trouble. Fortunately, he hadn't even looked in her direction so she was able to discretely listen to what was being said without them paying her any attention. The only time the patches noticed a sweetbutt was when they were fucking her or they wanted a beer. She had always been a favourite of Dixon's and as such held a fairly high standing at Salt Lake. She missed that, and although she earned good money turning tricks here in Vegas, she hated how invisible she was in the clubhouse. Although right now, that invisibility was useful, and if she reported back to Dixon, maybe he'd agree to make her his old lady after all.

* * *

Happy watched as the girl came out of Quinn's dorm, she looked vaguely familiar, although that in itself wasn't unusual. Back in his nomad days, he'd visited plenty of clubs, so he'd probably seen her around. He was pretty sure it wasn't here though. As he watched, she headed behind the bar to the coffee machine, and bending down go grab a mug, her tee shirt rose up revealing a large phoenix across the small of her back. Happy grinned, he may not always remember a face, but he never forgot ink. The last time he'd seen that, she'd been on her knees in front of Dixon.


	26. Chapter 26

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY SIX

Quinn opened his eyes and blinked as Happy switched on the light. "You better have a real good reason for waking me up."

"That gash you nailed last night. What do you know about her?"

"That it was like fucking a dead fish."

"Wasn't looking for a review, man. Did she come on to you?"

"Yeah, I guess." Quinn, like many of his brothers, paid little attention to the whores that hung around the clubhouses. They were just there to scratch an itch. As a nomad he rarely went looking for women, they just came to him. Even now, barely minutes after she'd left his bed, he was struggling to remember her face. "What's this about, Hap?"

"I've seen her before. At Salt Lake. She's a favorite of Dixon's. I'm guessing she's chosen here cos it's close to him."

"You speak to her?"

"Nah, don't think she realized I recognized her."

"You think she'll tell him we're here?"

"I'm betting he already knows. I reckon he would give his right arm for the chance to take us out."

"You think we can lure him out?"

"It's an option." Happy grinned and sat on the end of the bed. "I'm guessing the reason she was pushing up on you was to find out what we know, which is precisely Jack shit."

"Makes sense. Although it could be that I am one fine motherfucker." Quinn smirked and kissed his bicep. "You think we should feed her false information."

"Actually I was thinking that maybe she could lead us to him, that way we could take down those Nazi assholes as well."

"As much as I would love to do that, Hap. That would take more than just the two of us. These separatist groups are well armed, and wherever they are will be seriously well defended. Hitting them would take some serious planning."

"Yeah I guess you're right. Those places could defend themselves against an army."

"Of course." Quinn grinned. "It wouldn't hurt to take a look. You think the gash will give him up?"

"Not willingly. Maybe we should stick around, find out who her friends are, where she hangs out. Don't think we should show our hands too soon." He stood up. "I'm sure you'll be able to persuade her to let you bang her again."

"No question, Hap. Aint a woman on the planet can resist this."

Rolling his eyes Happy headed out of the door and back into the clubhouse.

* * *

The parking lot outside the clubhouse was still cool. Later as the day wore on the heat outside would be unbearable, but right now as Happy pulled out his cell and lit a cigarette, it was perfect. "Hey, baby."

"Hey. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just thought I'd call you early, in case I don't get the chance again today. It's real good to hear your voice."

"And yours. I'm really missing you Hap. So is Lacy. Maybe you should call her. She's struggling a bit with you not being around."

"Yeah, okay I will. I'm sorry, Dee, I shouldn't have taken this job, not after everything that has happened."

"Shit! Are my ears deceiving me? Happy Lowman, regretting taking a job for the club. I don't know whether to be flattered or scared."

Happy chuckled. "I see your point. I guess this shit with M has got me turned around."

"Happy, what you…What happened. You've got to let it go. I know Lacy's hurting right now, but she'll get over it. The only thing that will stop her moving on, is if you let your guilt keep you away from her."

"How the fuck did I end up with someone as smart as you?"

"Guess you lucked out."

"Guess I did. I love you Dee."

"I know, and I love you too. Now go and do what you have to do, so you can come home to us."

As usual, Happy felt better after talking to Dee. She really was good for him and he knew that stopping Mona from coming between her and him had been his only option. It really was the only way he could prove to Dee that he truly loved her. He just hadn't expected it to tear him apart in the way it had. Shaking his head ruefully, he threw his cigarette butt on the ground and headed back into the clubhouse. He was going to have to let this go, Dee and Quinn were right. If he didn't Mona would have won, and what he had done would have been for nothing.

* * *

"How about you get me a coffee, sweetheart." Quinn sat on a sofa at the back of the room, his long legs stretched out in front of him and watched as Candy or Cindy, or whatever the fuck her name was, crossed the room. In the cold light of day, she was older than she first appeared and, although she was probably quite a looker in her day, her face bore signs of the life she'd been living. He had heard that Dixon had a reputation for beating on his women, and he knew that his old lady had visited ER on more than one occasion. He appeared he was pretty heavy handed with his favourite sweet butt too. At some point her nose had been busted and there was a slight asymmetry about her face that, he guessed was due to a badly fixed broken cheek bone. Despite this, she wasn't unattractive and Quinn was pretty sure she would be grateful for any kindness he showed her. He smiled as she returned with his coffee. "Thanks darling, how about you sit here and keep me company for a while." Wordlessly, with her eyes downcast, she sat next to him. Quinn slung his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, pretending not to notice how she flinched at the sudden movement. "So, Cindy."

"Candice."

"Candice." He corrected himself. "How come I haven't seen you around before? I'm pretty sure I'd have noticed someone as pretty as you." She blushed, she actually fucking blushed. Shit, this was going to be easier than he thought.

"I…I have been here a while."

Quinn didn't push. She was nervous, and not just of him. He had seen the way she had kept her eyes downcast as she crossed the room, something that set her apart from the other women there. The Vegas charter had a reputation for taking good care of their women. Sure they were expected to earn their keep, but Jez, the president, wouldn't tolerate anyone beating on his girls. As a result they were bold and forward in the clubhouse, even more so than in Charming. It was one of the reasons Quinn enjoyed coming here. While the women were still respectful, they were spunky, and fun to be around.

Candice leaned back and forced herself to relax. Quinn seemed kind enough and she really wanted to be able to take any information she gleaned back to Dixon. She was starting to get desperate in her need to get out of this life and although he had given her a beating on more than one occasion, she still felt he was the only one who could offer her any sort of stability. She suppressed a shudder as Quinn ran his fingers down her arm. It had been a long time since she'd enjoyed the touch of a man. Sex wasn't something she enjoyed. It was just a means to an end, something to be endured in return for money or security.

"Relax, darling. I aint gonna hurt ya. Just looking for the company of a pretty girl is all." Quinn moved away from her ever so slightly. "What's got you so twitchy huh? I though Jez took good care of his girls."

"He does. I'm fine."

Again Quinn let it go. He didn't want to spook her. "So you a dancer?"

"Not any more. I used to when I….When I was younger." She fell silent, trying to avoid his piercing gaze.

"And I aint gotta worry about no old man kicking my ass?"

"No. There is…was…. No, I don't have anyone." She glanced nervously at him and relaxed a little as he smiled. "So I'm all yours for as long as you want me."

"Good to hear, darling. I fully intend on keeping you to myself while I'm here."

Candice wondered briefly if he knew of her connection to Dixon and risked a glance to where Happy was playing pool with Jez. No, she dismissed the idea. If either of them recognized her it would have been Happy, and as far as she was aware he hadn't even looked in her direction. She knew she was putting herself in a dangerous position although she was confident no one here knew of her Salt Lake connection. As far as everyone here was concerned she had come from Tucson, in reality though, she had only been there for a couple of months before moving to Vegas, having followed Dixon wherever he went. She looked over again, to the big nomad sitting next her and wondered what it would be to be the old lady of someone as kind as him. Suppressing a sigh, Candice concentrated on the job at hand. He'd never be interested in anything more than a fuck from her. Truthfully she doubted even Dixon would. Most of the time he was more interested in using her as a punch bag than anything else.

"Hey." Quinn nudged her. "Stop looking so worried. I only wanted a little fun. If you're not interested, I can go elsewhere."

"No… No. I am interested. I'm just not used to people wanting to be with me. There's so many prettier girls here."

Gently he touched her cheek. "You are plenty pretty enough, sweetheart. Don't you let anyone tell you otherwise."

"Thank you." She fought the urge to tense up as he pulled her closer. "Are you hungry? I could make you something."

"I got a better idea." He stood up and held out his hand. "C'mon, the diner down the road does the best breakfasts. My treat."

* * *

Happy straightened up and leaned on his cue as he watched his brother lead the girl outside. "What do you know about her, Jez?"

"Not much. Her and a couple of her friends came up from Tucson looking to earn."

"You know where she was before that?"

"Nah, never spoke to her. She works the strip and pays her dues. Seems to get on with everyone okay." He frowned. "Why d'ya ask?"

"The last time I saw her, she was in Salt Lake, on her knees in front of Dixon."

"Shit. You think she's tipped him off about you?"

Happy gave a one shouldered shrug and bent to take his shot. "Quinn'll take care of her." He chuckled at the Vegas president's expression. "I meant he'll befriend her, see if he can't get her to give him up."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Then I'll take care of her."

* * *

Candice sat opposite Quinn and picked at her fries. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I'm a nice guy."

"So you make a habit of taking sweetbutts to breakfast?"

"I do when I'm hungry." He grinned. "I don't like eating alone, an' I'd rather look at you than Happy." He reached over the table and touched her hand. "Why wouldn't I want to have breakfast with you?"

"Because I'm a used up old whore."

There it was. His way in. "Shit. I'd like to find the asshole that put that in your head."

"No one put anything in my head."

"Sure they did. You are a lovely girl, who could be anything she wanted to be."

"That's very kind of you, but I know what I am."

"Don't make a habit of buying used up old whores breakfast, darling."

"You would if that used up old whore is connected to the man you're looking for." She looked up and her eyes met his. "I'm not stupid Quinn, I know how this works."

"Then you know this is your chance to do this the easy way. Cos trust me darling, the hard way is Happy. And you really don't want that."

"He knows you're here. I…"

"Yeah, we figured that much. All we want from you is a location."

"I can't tell you that."

"Can't or wont?"

Her eyes dropped and he nodded. "You are going to do as you're told."

"And if I don't?"

"I'll hand you over to Happy."

"He'll kill me?"

"Oh no, darling. He'll keep you alive. Happy's very good at keeping people alive."

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"If you don't give me what I want, or you tip him off that we're on to him, after Hap's done with you, I will kill you. Co-operate and you get to live with everything intact." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of banknotes. "There's enough cash to set you up, wherever you want. It's yours if you play nice."

"Dix will kill me, if I betray him."

"He wont get the chance, darling. You're a smart girl, you saw through this little charade. And like you said you know how it works." He grinned. "So how about you tell me what you know."

"I don't know much. He's staying at a place called Hope Farm, I think it's about thirty miles east of here. The people who own it are into all that survivalist bullshit." She screwed up her nose. "I don't know how many there are there, but from what he has said, it's like a fortress. That's all I know, really."

"Okay. Good girl. Now I want you to call him and tell him that we have left town, but you don't know where we've gone."

"Now?"

"Now would be a good time."

"Okay." She pulled out her cell. "Dix? It's me. I…I thought you'd want to know, those guys who were looking for you left town this morning….No I don't know where they went….No they don't know anything…..Yes I'm sure. Okay, I will. Bye."

Quinn stood and holding out his hand, took her cell from her. "Lets get you back to the clubhouse. I'll have a couple of nomads here in a couple of hours. They can escort you out of town." He grinned at the expression on her face. "Wouldn't want you driving in the wrong direction, now would we?"


	27. Chapter 27

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY SEVEN

Happy shifted as yet another rock dug in his ribs and brought the binoculars up to his eyes, once more. From their vantage point on a hill at the back of the ranch, hidden by a rocky outcrop they had a perfect view of the whole thing. It was rapidly becoming apparent that the usual MC method of get in quick, hit 'em hard and get your ass out of there wasn't going to work here. Taking down an operation like this was going to take a lot of planning and a huge amount of fire power.

Quinn squinted and looked over to his companion. "So if you was planning taking these fuckers down. How would you do it?"

"Snipers, to take out those lookouts. Then a two pronged attack from over there and there." He pointed. "Lot of noise, lot of smoke. I'm guessing the money shot is the house. Looks like there's a cellar an' I'm guessing that's where they're storing the guns. There's two, no, three guard dogs on the porch and two guys on the roof. There's drums of something out back and it's possible they're using the rest of the house to cook up meth. I'd say we try to draw them off and if we can't get the weapons out, we blow the fucker sky high."

"You make it sound so easy, bro." Quinn chuckled, and took more photographs. "How many are we going to need?"

Happy shrugged. "A lot. But it aint just about numbers. We'd need the best. Every one of those fuckers is armed and I'm guessing they're good. They aint gonna panic, they will be well drilled and will have covered every scenario."

"We could just wait for Dixon to surface, maybe use his girl to draw him out."

"We could. But they been hitting the Mayans and Grim Bastards. There's five bikes down there, an' he's been wearing colors. That's what they been seeing. The patch an' the bikes. Whether he's with them or not. Any more hits are gonna look like they're sanctioned by the club. These fuckers are looking to start a turf war. Tucson uses the Bastards on protection runs and Mayans have been running H through this territory for years without a problem. My guess is that it's the H that they're interested in."

"Makes sense. Turn the clubs on each other. Then step in to pick up the lost business." Quinn grinned. "Guess we take the fuckers down, then." Grunting he rolled over and sat up. Let's get back to Vegas. Looks like we got some planning to do. Neither spoke as they walked the short distance down the hill to where the anonymous grey van was parked. This was a dangerous strategy that was going to involve the cream of several charters. But even with numbers and using the best men, it was unlikely that they would pull this off without suffering heavy casualties.

Jez Thompson sat at the head of the table and rubbed at the headache that he could feel coming on. Everything Quinn was telling him made sense, but the truth was, he had no stomach for this. Under his leadership, the Vegas charter had grown rich and fat. The strip club earned good money and even after they'd paid a cut to the Italians who ran the town, the girls were making the members very rich indeed. The club was well liked in the town, raising money for local good causes and he really didn't want to rock the boat. "How can I be sure this isn't going to blow back on this charter."

"You can't." Quinn leaned back and folded his arms. "But if they get what they want, and start a turf war, I guarantee Vegas will be hit."

"Looks like I've got no choice then." Jez stood. "I'll call Clay, get him to reach out the other charters."

Happy had been right. This wasn't just about numbers. They were going to need the best that each charter had to offer. Gradually over the next few days, the Vegas clubhouse filled up with sons from every charter from Tucson to Tacoma. He looked up as the door opened and Kozic, Lee and Bully walked through with broad grins on their faces. His grin matched theirs as they approached. "Brothers. It's good to see you."

Kozic gave him a one armed hug. "Shit, bro. Can you, for once, just do a job without over complicating things."

"Nah, wouldn't want you to miss out on some shit kicking."

"Nice of you to share." He glanced across the room, his eyes falling on Tig. "Shit, might have known that asshole would be here."

Happy shrugged. "Can't think of anyone I would rather have watching my back. An' you know that if it came down to it, he'd take a bullet for you. Just like he would for any of his brothers."

It was a week before they were ready. Juice had created some computer models using Google earth and the photographs Quinn had taken, the ranch had been closely watched and any comings and goings noted. They had been careful not to draw attention to how many sons had gathered at the clubhouse. Arriving in twos and threes and parking their bikes in the alley at the back, well out of sight, they had managed to gather together without raising suspicion. Finally they were ready, or as ready as they'd ever be. Under cover of darkness in vans, trucks and cars they headed out through the desert and got in position ready for a dawn attack. They certainly outnumbered their opponents but it would be a pretty safe bet that despite this they would still be at a disadvantage. The place was heavily fortified and their weapons were inferior, they did however, have the element of surprise and many of the guys had military experience, so as they readied themselves, most were optimistic that they would be successful.

Kozic laid down and fixed the silencer to his sniper rifle. In precisely five minutes he was to take out the guys on the roof while Bully who was a few yards away would take down the two watching the front entrance. At the same time half the team would break in through the, unguarded but locked, back gates and the other half would storm the front. Hopefully he would be able to take out the dogs as well as have the chance to pick off others. Carefully, he lined up his first shot, slowing his breathing and relaxing his muscles, as his cell buzzed. He fired. The first bullet hit true, the second not quite. He hit his victim, but it wasn't a kill shot and he managed to shout out before a second bullet hit him between the eyes. From his position, he watched as, all hell broke loose. Bully had hit both his targets and at least one dog and suddenly the place was swarming with sons. Realizing there was too much smoke and chaos for him to be of any use. Kozic abandoned his rifle and ran down the hill, pulling his glock out of it's holster as she approached the nearest gate, taking down a big skin head, before he had the chance to shoot Tig in the back. Tig turned and their eyes met, before they resumed the battle.

Close combat had never really been Happy's strong point, despite this, he threw himself into the fray, not even hesitating when a familiar burning told him a bullet had clipped his shoulder.

It was pandemonium, the air was thick with shouting and the screams of injured men and there was so much smoke it was difficult to see. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Quinn go down. "Quinn!"

"I'm okay." Happy watched as he dragged himself to the relative safety of a barn wall, then continued with his assault. There was nothing he could do for his brother right now. He spun round as someone touched his shoulder. "We have five minutes before the house goes up." Lorca grinned. "Time to get our asses out of here." He gave a shrill whistle and gradually, still firing the sons pulled back, Happy and Tig dragging Quinn unceremoniously between them.

The explosion could be seen for miles. Of course by the time the emergency services turned up, the sons had all dispersed, leaving dead and wounded white supremacists behind them.

They had all survived! Not entirely intact, but they would all live to fight another day. Happy had sustained a gunshot wound to the shoulder, it was clean, little more than a flesh wound, but it would leave an impressive scar. Both Kozic and Bully had taken hits, but they weren't life threatening. The most seriously injured was Quinn. The bullet had lodged itself in his thigh, and although Chibs and Lorca had managed to get it out and stop the bleeding, he wouldn't be riding for a few weeks at least.

Happy sat on the floor outside, his back leaning against the wall, and pulled out his cell. "Hey, baby."

"Hey. Everything okay?"

"Yeah. It's all good. Quinn got shot up. He's gonna be laid up for a while. How would you feel about him staying with us? He could really do with some home comforts."

"Quinn is always more than welcome to stay. But if he's shot up, how's he getting here?"

"Prospect will bring him and his bike in the van."

"Is every one else whole?"

"We're all fine, Dee. It went like a dream. I'll be home in a few days."

All was quiet as they sat in the clubhouse and watched the news report the days events at Hope farm. The authorities were putting it down to some sort of internal beef. They would be questioning the survivors as soon as possible. Happy leaned back stretching his long legs in front of him and looked to where Dixon's cut lay across the bar. No one could remember seeing him, but his cut had been hanging across his Harley. They'd taken it and torched his bike as well as the farmhouse and all the motor homes. If he'd been hiding in any of them, he would have been burnt to a crisp.

"How you doing, bro?" Tig sat down next to him and handed him a beer.

"Good." Happy looked back at the TV. "Be happier once I know that asshole is dead."

"I think we can be sure of that, Hap. We know he was in there, and I don't see how he survived."

"Some did."

"Nah, reckon most wont survive the night. Relax man, we did good. Showed those motherfuckers, that no one messes with the sons."


	28. Chapter 28

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY EIGHT

Quinn eased himself carefully onto the kitchen chair and watched as Happy's old lady busied herself with preparing lunch. He had been staying there for just over a week now, and it looked like he'd be there for a while longer. The bullet had ripped through the muscle and chipped his thigh bone and then the wound had become infected. The antibiotics that Happy had managed to get were doing their job and he was starting to feel a little less feverish, but still felt like shit.

Dee turned and smiled. "Hey. How you feeling?" She crossed the room and pressed her fingers against his brow. "You're still hot. I really think you should see a doctor."

"I'm okay. Seeing a doctor will just complicate things."

"I guess. Do you want something to eat?"

"Maybe later."

"Rane, you have to eat. How about I make you some soup?"

"I don't want you to go to any trouble."

"It's no trouble." She bent and kissed the top of his head. "You need to keep your strength up."

"I really appreciate all you're doing for me, Dee."

She shrugged. "You're family Rane."

They both turned at the sound of the front door closing. Happy walked in throwing her car keys onto the table and dropping a bag of groceries on the counter. "That's everything on the list apart from the chorizo." He bent and kissed her neck. "So what do I get for running round the shops for you?"

"You get to eat." She turned and slipped her arms around his neck. "And maybe we can find a use for those bananas and whipped cream, later."

Quinn chuckled. "You do know I'm still here, right?" They both turned with huge grins on their faces, and he scowled. "You disgust me."

"Why don't you two boys go into the den and leave me to get the lunch." With her hands flat on Happy's chest, Dee pushed him away before turning back to her cooking.

As Quinn hauled himself up onto his feet and leaning on his crutches followed his friend, he wondered if he would have been able to adapt to the sort of domesticity that Happy had. He could never quite wrap his head around how it was possible for a man who could torture and kill without a second thought, to then be able to go home and be a loving husband and father. Somehow, though, against all the odds Happy managed to pull it off. He knew Dee was under no illusion as to what her old man did for the club, and he guessed that maybe that was why it worked.

It had been nearly thirty years since Quinn had anything like a serious relationship and truthfully he thought it would be unfair to expect a woman to put up with having a nomad as an old man. But watching Dee and Happy, he wondered what it would be like to have a warm house and the loving arms of a good woman to come home to. He all but collapsed on Happy's huge sofa, exhausted by the short walk across the room.

Happy frowned. "You okay, bro?"

"Yeah. Getting pissed at feeling this weak. Just give me a sec." He took a deep breath and waited for the dizziness to pass. "Your old lady is taking good care of me. She's a great girl, you're a lucky man."

Happy grinned and switched on the TV. "Yeah I am."

Lacy parked her truck and walked towards the house with a spring in her step. Finally after months of waiting, Joe, the best looking boy in the school has asked her out on a date. It would have been nice to go home an talk about it, but although she was sure Dee would be cool, she knew Happy would not. He was convinced that every boy that even as much as looked in her direction was planning on jumping her, and as a result, she was nearly seventeen and had never even been kissed. She loved him, in fact since he'd got back from Vegas, they had been closer than ever, but he really was a pain in her ass sometimes.

She walked into the kitchen and kissed her aunt. "Hey. Where's Hap?"

"He and Rane are in the den. Why don't you go and tell them that lunch is ready."

Whenever Happy was home, Dee tried as much as possible to ensure that they all sat down and ate together. It was a way for them all to come together as a family. Often of course, other stuff got in the way. Her work, Lacy's friends, the club. But they got together as often as they could. She smiled as Quinn joined them. Any of Happy's brothers were always welcome at her table and he was one of her favorites. As a rule she was wary around the nomads, but Quinn was the exception to that rule. He was always polite and respectful around her and Lacy and she was comfortable in his company. Lacy too, enjoyed having him around and was looking forward to evenings thrashing him on the play station, when he was feeling better. Dee smiled as her niece took her place between the to sons, completely unfazed by what they represented. "Hey Uncle Rane. You feeling better?"

"Getting there baby girl. I'll soon be fit enough to whoop that skinny ass of yours."

"Never gonna happen." She nudged him and passed him a plate of lasagne.

"Thanks, Baby girl. So how was work?" She had recently taken a Saturday job at the local gas station.

"Good. Oh, two nomads came in today."

"Really? I didn't know any were in town. Do you know who they were?"

She shook her head. "I don't think I've seen them before. One of them walked with a limp."

"Sounds like Greg, so I'm guessing the other is Go Go." Be careful around them baby girl. They're good guys, but they aint nice and polite like me.

Lacy rolled her eyes. She was constantly being warned about Happy's brothers as well as every other male on the planet. "Oh they weren't interested in me. They spent all their time talking to the new girl."

"You got a new girl? Is she hot?"

"Uncle Rane!"

"Well is she?"

"I don't know. She's okay I guess. She's quite old. Not as old as you an' Hap, but…"

"Hey. I aint old sugar."

"Oh you so are. That's why you listen to such crappy music."

"I will have you know, I have great taste in music."

Quinn grinned as he watched the exchange between Happy and his kid. There could be no denying how much they loved each other and he had to admit he was kind of envious of Happy's little family.

Lacy glanced at his plate and frowned. "You should be eating." She touched his face. "You don't look too great and you're hot again."

"I'm okay baby. Just not hungry is all." He smiled and forced down another mouthful, before admitting defeat. "I am feeling pretty tired. Maybe I'll go and have a lay down."

He'd been dozing fitfully for a couple of hours when Lacy crept in holding a bowl of soup. "Dee made you some soup." He sat up and she handed him the bowl and climbing onto the bed next to him, grabbed the remote control. "Thought I could watch TV with you. Hap and Dee are making out on the sofa." She shuddered. "It's disgusting."

Quinn chuckled and started to eat his soup. "Yeah, must be awful for you, I'm surprised you aint scarred for life. So what's it to be? Cops or nazcar?"

"Nazcar." She settled with her back against the headboard.

"So did that douche ask you out yet?"

"Rane! He is not a douche, and yes. He wants me to go bowling with him. You wont tell Happy, will you?"

"You want me to lie to my brother?"

"Yes I do. You wouldn't even know if you hadn't been listening to my private phone calls."

"I wasn't listening, I overheard. You should be more discrete."

"I thought you were asleep. Please Rane. Don't say anything to Happy."

"I'm not going to say anything, because you are."

"I can't. He'll flip."

"No he wont. He loves you and he wants to keep you safe. But he also wants you to be happy, so he'll be cool." He laughed. "Eventually."


	29. Chapter 29

I don't own sons of anarchy

TWENTY NINE

Dee frowned as she pulled off the dressing that covered the wound on Quinn's thigh. "You really have to see a doctor, Rane. This is getting worse, I don't think the antibiotics are working."

"I'll be okay."

"No you wont. I'm not an expert. But I do know that you shouldn't still be running a temperature and this should be healing. There must be a doctor that wont ask too many questions that you can see."

Quinn leaned back and closed his eyes as she redressed the wound. "Okay, if it makes you happy I'll see a fucking doctor. But if he gets suspicious and calls the pigs, I'm blaming you."

Dee straightened up and kissed him on his forehead, her frown deepening at how hot he was. "Actually, I think maybe I should take you to the hospital now. You're burning up."

He opened his eyes. "Dee, I have a gunshot wound. If I go to the hospital, they'll report it."

"So say it was an accident. You were cleaning your gun and didn't know it was loaded, I don't know, say anything. Shit Rane, you could end up with gangrene."

"I think you're being a bit melodramatic, darling. It's just a little infection."

"So why are you shivering?"

"I aint shivering."

"Sure you're not." She pulled a throw from the back of the sofa, and wrapped it around his shoulders. "As soon as Hap gets back, we're going to ER."

If he'd had the energy he would have argued with her. But all he wanted to do was sleep. His leg was on fire and it was getting hard to focus on anything for any length of time without his mind wandering. He felt Dee start to move away and he reached out and grabbed her hand. "Stay. Please."

Without a word, she sat back and leaned her head on his shoulder until she was sure he was asleep, then carefully so as not to disturb him, she stood and walked quietly into the kitchen and picked up her cell. "Hap?"

"S'up. Darling?"

"I'm going to have to take Rane to the hospital. I really don't like the look of his leg. And he's burning up."

"Shit. I thought he was pretty bad last night, but he insisted he was feeling better. Okay. I'll come with you. I'll be home in ten."

Ten minutes became thirty and Dee was starting to panic. She was finding it difficult to rouse Quinn, and when she did, he was delirious and incoherent. There was no way she was going to be able to get him to the car are on her own, and was about to call an ambulance when Happy rushed in. "Sorry, darling. Fucking road was closed." He looked over to where his brother was sleeping. "Fuck. He looks terrible. Quinn. Hey, c'mon brother wake up."

As soon as Quinn opened his eyes Happy hauled him to his feet. "Think we better get you checked out. You look like shit."

"Hey, Hap. Where we going? We going on a run bro?"

"Yeah. We're going on a run." Happy staggered under the weight of the bigger man. "All the way to ER."

"Is Dee coming? I like Dee, she's a good girl."

"Yeah, Dee's coming."

"S'good, I like Dee. I wan' her to come. Where we goin'?"

* * *

Happy sat on the hard plastic chair and with his legs stretched out in front of him, closed his eyes. Dee stopped her pacing and scowled at him. "How can you be so calm, aren't you worried?"

"I'm worried. I just aint pacing."

"I knew I should have insisted he came in the other day. Shit, Hap. What if we've left it too late?" She sat on the chair next to him. "Why are they taking so long?"

"Dee. Stop beating yourself up. They'll fix him."

The door opened and a nurse walked in. "Are you here with Mr Quinn?"

"Yeah." Happy straightened up. "Can we see him?"

"Yes, of course. Follow me." She led them down the corridor and into a small room. "The doctor will be in shortly."

Neither spoke as they sat and waited. Dee touched Quinn's hand but he didn't stir. She had never seen him so quiet and still. Happy watched his old lady as he held his brother's hand, concern etched over her face. He knew how fond she was of him and that she blamed herself for not insisting he came in sooner.

"Are you Mr Quinn's family?"

"Happy didn't hesitate. "He's my brother."

The young doctor walked to the edge of the bed, trying and failing, not to appear intimidated. "Mr Quinn is very sick right now, but hopefully we have caught the infection in time and he should make a full recovery. There were signs of necrosis around the wound, which have been cut away. The biggest issue is septicaemia, we will keep him on intravenous fluids and antibiotics for the next few days and with luck that will be enough. His vital signs are good and there's no evidence of organ failure. He's lucky you brought him in when you did. If you'd left it even for a few more hours, the outcome could have been very different."

Quinn couldn't remember the last time he was ill. He had had a few beatings and laid his bike down a couple of times, but never actually been sick. The first few days of his hospital stay had been pretty much a blur. The only reason he was aware of the passage of time, was that when he woke, there would be someone different at his bedside. As he started to grow stronger, though, he became more and more impatient. He knew he was still very sick, but he didn't care. He needed to get out of there.

"You can't just discharge yourself Rane." Dee fluffed his pillows and helped him get more comfortable. "Have you any idea how close you came to dying?"

"Yeah but I'm okay now."

"Stop pouting. If you discharge yourself I'm not taking care of you. It's only few more days and the drip will come out, and we'll discuss it with the doctor then. I'm sure they'll be more than happy to see the back of your miserable face by then."

"Fine." He sighed. "I thought you were my friend."

Leaning over, she kissed his, now cool, forehead. "I am. Now try and get some sleep. I have to get to work, but Lacy will drop by after school."

Even before she had left the room he felt his eyes closing. Shit. He really hated this.

"Hey, uncle Rane." Lacy perched on the edge of the bed and kissed his cheek. "I brought you some stuff." Rummaging through her bag, she pulled out some magazines and candy.

"Gummy bears?"

She grinned. "I like gummy bears."

"I like scotch." He pulled himself up into a sitting position. "I guess as you haven't brought me anything I actually want, I'll have to make do with a hug."

Lacy allowed him to pull her into his arms, before making herself comfortable next to him and switching on the TV. "You're looking a lot better now."

"I'm feeling it, baby girl." He pulled open the bag of gummy bears and stuffed a handful into his mouth, chuckling as she scowled. "You did buy these for me, right? So, how did your date go? You tell Happy?"

"It went okay." Actually it had been a bit of a disappointment. The men in Lacy's life were strong and decisive. Compared to them, Joe had been a bit of a let down.

"And Happy? You tell him? Shit Lace, you didn't did you?"

"I would've but you were sick, and he had enough to worry about."

"Oh no. You don't get to use me as your excuse. Either you tell him or I will."

"There's no need. I wont be seeing him again."

"Why? what did he do? If he…."

"He didn't do anything." She sighed. "Nothing at all."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"To you? Oh sure, I'm just itching to talk about boys with the president of the most notorious charter of an outlaw MC."

"Has anyone ever told you what a sarcastic bitch you are?"

"It has been mentioned."

"Well if you don't want to talk about your sex life."

"Rane! I don't have a sex life. Never fucking will, if Hap has his way."

"Okay, I'm sorry. How 'bout you tell me about your plans for your birthday." He closed his eyes and listened with half an ear as she chatted, about her plans, until it dawned on her that he wasn't really paying attention and she fell silent and with her head on his shoulder, watched MTV while he slept.

Finally and somewhat reluctantly, Quinn's doctor agreed to discharge him, with strict instructions to rest for at least another two weeks and to come back in once a week, for the next month for his dressing to be changed. And of course no riding for at least six weeks. If he was honest he would have agreed to anything to get out of there. He felt a little guilty bout imposing himself on Dee and Happy for so long, but they both insisted he was welcome to stay for as long as he needed to, and truthfully, there was nowhere he would rather be. Maybe he was getting soft in his old age, but he was extremely fond of Happy's little family.

* * *

Lacy didn't particularly enjoy her Saturday job, but it did mean she didn't have to go to Happy or Dee every time she needed money. Happy was paying for someone to go in everyday and take care of his mom, and she guessed they weren't rich. She would always be grateful to him for taking her in, and she knew he was sending money to her brother's foster parents, so she liked to be able to help out as much as she could. There was less than an hour until the end of her shift and all she had left to do was wipe down the shelves and sweep the floor. The door opened, but she ignored it. The new girl was working behind the counter today. "Hey, sugar. How 'bout you get your skinny ass over here and serve us."

She looked up and frowned, the new girl was no where to be seen. "Hey Hap, Koz."

Happy paid for his gas and looked around. "You on your own sugar?"

"No, the girl I'm on with must be out back." She looked out to where their bikes were parked. "You going on a run?"

"Not really, just thought we'd take advantage of the sunshine. What time do you finish? I'll swing by and give you a ride home."

"Thanks, I finish at four. I'll call Rane and tell him he doesn't need to come get me." She smiled and watched them leave. It was worth lending her truck to Quinn if it meant she got to ride home with Happy.

At the sound of the bikes pulling away, her new workmate crept out of the back room and she sighed. "Shit Candice, where the fuck were you?"


	30. Chapter 30

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY

"I…I'm sorry."

Lacy gritted her teeth. This was only the second time they had worked together and already the older woman was grating on her nerves. Despite being at least fifteen years older than her, Candice was nervous and shy with the customers. Even around Lacy, she was twitchy. "You can't just disappear like that."

"I know, I'm sorry, really I am. Those guys that came in…Do you know them?"

"Yeah. They're my dads."

"What, both of them?"

Lacy laughed. "I guess. Kozic, the big dumb blonde one, is my biological father. But Happy, the scary looking bald one, raised me. He's my real dad." Her eyes narrowed. "Is that why you hid out back? Cos you saw them coming?"

"I….They….I"

"Fuck Candice, If you're going to work here you better get used to the idea of sons coming in. Their clubhouse is less than a mile away." She frowned. "This about more than you being uncomfortable around bikers isn't it?"

"I….It's just….I…" She looked down, not wanting to look Lacy in the eye. "It's complicated."

"Please tell me Happy hasn't fucked you."

Candice sighed, maybe honesty was the best policy. "No, it's nothing like that. What I did was much worse. I betrayed him and Quinn." She looked up and her eyes met Lacy's. "They know. I confessed to Quinn and he gave me the chance to get away. I was going to make a new life across the border, and then I found out that Quinn was staying here and, I dunno, I wanted the chance to see him again."

"Betrayed them how?"

Candice shook her head. "I can't tell you."

Lacy frowned. "Why did you want to see Quinn again?"

"He was kind to me. He could've…." She wrung her hands. "I just wanted to thank him."

"So write him a fucking note. You betrayed them. You really think he'll want to see you. Quinn gave you the chance to get away. I suggest you take it."

"GoGo said he was hurt."

"He's fine." Lacy started to tidy up behind the counter. She looked up and scowled. "You still here?"

"You want me to go?"

"You're a rat. What do you think?"

"Shit, you really are Happy's kid."

"Yes I am."

"So if he asked you to betray the club, would you do it?"

"It would never happen. Happy would rip out his own heart rather than betray his brothers." Her scowl deepened. "I can't make up my mind whether you're incredibly stupid, or your planning on ratting on them again."

"To who? They killed him."

"Good." Lacy smiled. "Now leave."

"You can't make me go. You're just a kid."

"Not just a kid." Her smile got wider. "Happy's kid."

"Why are you being like this?"

"When you said they knew. Did they find out or did you tell them."

Candice looked away.

"Thought so. Look, I'm doing you a favour. How do you think Happy will react when he knows that I'm working with you?"

"I didn't know. Honestly. There was a notice in the window. If I'd known who you were I would never have taken the job."

"And now you do know."

"Please don't say anything to Happy. I'll find something else, I swear. It was stupid of me to come here. But really I meant no harm."

"Then you will be okay with me talking to Happy, wont you?" Lacy turned on her heel and as she pulled out her cell, the world went black.

"Oh shit, shit." Candice dropped the fire extinguisher and backed away towards the rear exit, her eyes never leaving the crumpled body on the floor. There was so much blood, it oozed slowly from the gaping wound in Lacy's head and spread across the floor. "Oh shit." She spun and grabbing her coat and bag, ran out through the back door, jumped in her car and, wheels spinning, sped away. She was so fucked. This was all Dixon's fault.

When Greg had handed her back her cell after they had been holed up just outside Tacoma for a week, he had told her Dixon was dead and that she was free to go where ever she wanted. Tacoma had seemed as good a place as any. Maybe she would bump into Quinn. She meant what she said about him being kind. The last thing she'd expected was for Dixon to call. She owed him, he'd made it abundantly clear. All he'd wanted was Happy and Quinn and all she had to do was find out where Happy was living then get her ass out of there. He would do the rest.

Her plan had been simple. Greg had mentioned that Happy's kid was working at the local gas station, so she'd taken a job there and had planned to follow her home, or maybe hand her over to Dix so he could use her as leverage.

Hindsight was a wonderful thing and as she sped out of town, it was obvious it was a stupid idea. Dixon was right, she really was a stupid whore.

* * *

Happy grinned as he took the bend slightly too fast. He was late and Lacy was going to rip him a new one. As he rounded the last bend, his grin faded. Why was an ambulance parked outside? And where the fuck was lacy? He pulled up and dismounted.

"Hey, hey." He grabbed the arm of a paramedic as he jogged to the front of the ambulance. "What's going on?"

"Kid that works here had her head caved in. Customer found her and called us."

"Fuck! Lacy." He dropped the paramedic's arm and ran to the back doors and pulled them open. "Lacy!"

"Hey you cant…."

"She's my kid." Ignoring the paramedic's protests he climbed inside.

"Okay. You can travel with us. But please give us some space to help her." Happy nodded and sat opposite where she was laying. "Just don't let her die."

The paramedic nodded but said nothing, just turned back to his unconscious kid.

* * *

No one spoke. The only sound was the ticking of the clock and the footsteps of people as they hurried along the corridor past the waiting room door. Kozic sat, head bowed, his forearms resting on his thighs. Next to him Quinn, oblivious to the dull ache in his leg, sat with his eyes fixed onto the door. On the opposite side of the room, Dee and Happy sat, hand in hand, their fingers entwined. Both drawing strength from each other and both knowing they were a hair's breadth from falling apart. For hour after hour, they sat in silence. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the door opened and the grim faced surgeon walked in.


	31. Chapter 31

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY ONE

Forty eight hours. That's what the doctor had said. If she didn't wake within that time they would have to reassess the situation, whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean. Lacy lay on the narrow bed, surrounded by her family. She had been sedated and placed on a ventilator. Machines were monitoring her vital signs and an intravenous drip was supplying her fluids and the medication that would hopefully take down the swelling in her brain.

Happy swallowed the lump that seemed to have taken up permanent residence in his throat. He couldn't stand this. His kid, his little girl looked so tiny and helpless, her head swathed in bandages and one side of her face a mass of bruises. He stood, pushing his chair back so violently that it fell, crashing to the ground. He had to get out before the pressure in his chest overwhelmed him. As he turned to leave, Dee reached out to stop him, only to be stopped herself by Quinn. "Let him go. He needs some space. He wont go far and he will come back."

She nodded and sat back down. "I know. But this isn't something he can run away from."

* * *

It was two miles from the hospital to the gas station where he had left his bike. Happy walked through the streets, ignoring the late night revellers as they spilled out of the bars and oblivious of the frigid night air that clung to him. All he knew was that he had to get to his bike and as far away from that hospital ward as he could.

He rode out of town towards the mountains, desperate to shake off that feeling of helplessness. The doctors words playing over and over in his head. They had managed to stabilize her, but her condition was still critical and he couldn't give her more than a fifty percent chance of making a full recovery.

He was supposed to protect her, to keep her safe. He had no idea who was responsible for hurting his little girl, but he would find out and he would hunt them down and kill them.

On and on he rode, along deserted highways praying to whoever would listen and doing deals with both God and the devil. He doubted he had a soul, and if he did, it was already blackened and corrupted. But if there was one lurking deep inside him, he would gladly give it away, if it meant Lacy could live.

Slowly the sky lightened, changing from inky black to pink and, one by one, the stars disappeared and as the last of the night vanished, he pulled over at a lake side stop, dismounted and squatting by the water's edge, lit a cigarette. He pulled out his wallet and unfolded a sheet of paper that he always kept in there.

She had been about four when she'd drawn it, but he could remember it as if it was yesterday. He had been away and hadn't been back to Bakersfield for months and, as usual, Dee and his mom had been taking care of her. He'd been sitting watching TV at his ma's when she had walked in clutching the drawing and, climbing on to his lap had handed it to him. "I drawed this for you Happy." He'd grinned as she had explained in that earnest way of hers. "That's me an' I am sad cos mommy is sick. An' that's you."

"And what's that sugar?"

"That's a unicorn. You're bringing it for me, to stop me feeling sad."

"You know I'd bring you a unicorn if I could sugar." Her faith in his ability to make everything alright had killed him.

"Don't be silly Happy." She'd rolled those remarkable blue eyes. "It's only pretend. Everybody knows there aint no such thing as unicorns."

His tears burned like acid on his cold cheeks as he scrunched up the drawing and brought it to his lips. "Please." He whispered. "Just let her be okay."

* * *

Dee sat and held Lacy's hand in hers. There had never been a time she hadn't loved her. From the moment she has came into the world. That tiny, angry creature that had been born addicted to heroin, Dee had loved her. She had never really been Mona's kid. It had been her and Yvonne that had raised her. Happy too, when he'd been around. It had been them that had ensured that she was the bright, well balanced kid that she had become. And now it seemed it had all been for nothing. As she gazed at her niece, laying there, attached to the wires and tubes that were keeping her alive, it seemed impossible that she would survive. She closed her eyes. This couldn't be happening, not to Lacy. How the hell were they supposed to get through this.

"Rane." Her voice was hoarse from crying. "You have to find who did this."

"No question, sweetheart." Quinn touched her arm. "Whoever did this is a dead man walking."

She nodded and fell silent again, her eyes never leaving Lacy's face. How could someone do that to her beautiful niece? She blinked as her tears rolled, unchecked down her face. "Please." She whispered. "Just open your eyes."

Quinn watched as Happy's old lady struggled to hold it together. He wondered if his brother appreciated what a remarkable woman she was. Life for old ladies was tough. They were expected to stand by their men, no matter what, and it wasn't long before most developed a hard edge. Years of not knowing whether your old man would be coming home every time he walked out of the door would do that to a woman. Dee, however was the exception. She was tough, of that, there was no doubt. But she was also one of the most caring people he had ever known. Family was everything to her, and he would always be grateful for the way she taken him in. His gut twisted as the tears started to fall down her cheeks. If the kid didn't make it, it would tear her and Happy apart. She looked up at him and frowned. "Shit Rane, you look terrible. You really need to get some sleep." She stood and held out her hand. "Come on, I'll take you home."

"I'm okay."

"No you're not. It wont take long. Kozic will stay here. Please Rane, you have to stay strong. Happy is going to need you."

* * *

Suddenly finding himself alone with his daughter, Kozic took a deep breath. "Come on sweetheart. You gotta wake up. How do you think Hap and Dee are gonna survive if you don't?" He swallowed. "I know I aint been much of a dad, and I know that you will never love me like you love Hap. But I do love you. Every time I see you, my heart swells. You are smart and beautiful and I can't imagine the world without you in it. I wanna watch you graduate, to see you get married, to play with my grandkids. Shit, Lacy. I have so many plans for you. I have so many missed years to make up for. Don't you dare fucking die on me." Roughly, with the heel of his hand, he rubbed away at the tears that were threatening to fall. "Just open your fucking eyes."

Happy knew he couldn't keep ignoring the buzzing of his cell. He pulled it out of his pocket and checked the caller ID. "Quinn."

"You need to get back to the hospital, brother. Your old lady is doing her best, but how long do you think she can hold it together on her own?"

"I know. I just… I just needed to be alone for a while."

"Well you've indulged that need and now you have to get back and be there for your family. This aint about you bro."

"I know. I'm heading back now."

* * *

In the last two days, Doctor West had started to change his opinion of the sons. He had been living in Tacoma for Ten years and in that time he'd seen plenty come through the hospital doors. Like many Tacoma residents, all he'd ever seen was a bunch of hardened criminals. He'd heard all the horror stories and had never been disinclined to believe them. Now though, as they gathered in the waiting room, hugging each other and talking amongst themselves in hushed voices. All he saw was the love that they felt for one another. Sure they were intimidating. The huge, long haired, bearded guy that had limped past him, looked as though he was capable of killing with his bare hands. And the bald one with the tattoos who had been sitting by Lacy's bed for the last day and a half looked like he could blow at any minute. But they were a family, and he knew that when they called each other 'brother' they really meant it.

* * *

Happy glanced at the clock on the wall. In half an hour they would be taking Lacy down for a PET scan. Even when they had reduced the sedatives, she had shown no sign of waking up. So now they wanted to check her levels of brain activity. It had taken all of his self control not to rip the radiographer's head from his shoulders as he'd told them in a matter of fact way, that if the scan showed nothing, her life support would be switched off. In fact, if it hadn't been for Dee's hand gripping tightly onto his, he would have lost the plot completely.

Quinn leaned on the doorframe, closely watching his brother. He had known Happy for twenty years and would count him as one of his closest friends, and right now, as he watched him and his old lady cling to each other as if their very lives depended on it, he knew, that if the news was bad, he could lose his friend forever. His phone vibrated and he pushed himself away from the wall and limped a short distance down the corridor before answering. "Greg. Tell me what you know."


	32. Chapter 32

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY TWO

"Hap! Wait." Dee caught up with him as he stepped outside. "You have to stay."

"I aint sticking around to watch you murder my kid."

"She's already gone, Hap. You heard what the doctor said." She reached out and touched his arm, flinching as he jerked away. "Please. Don't do this."

"You could refuse to sign the consent forms. Demand a second opinion."

"A second opinion on what? She's dead, Hap. Dead. What do you want me to do? Keep her on live support for ever? She's not going to wake up. Ever. We have to let her go."

"I can't." He turned and walked, head bowed towards his bike.

Lorca walked over and touched her shoulder. "It's okay, sweetheart. I'll stay with him. You go back inside. I'll keep your boy safe."

* * *

This wasn't happening. It was all a bad dream, any minute now, he would wake up and everything would be fine. Lacy couldn't die. She kept him grounded, the one thing that stopped him from being a monster. He needed her. More than Dee, more than his ma. She made him human.

He knew he wasn't a good person. But when his kid looked at him with those big blue eyes, so trusting, so full of love. It made him feel that maybe he wasn't all bad, that she somehow saw into his soul and found that tiny piece of goodness he kept deep inside, just for her.

His bike came to a halt and he slumped over the handlebars, unable to ride any longer. Lorca pulled up a few yards behind but made no attempt to approach his brother. He just sat astride his Dyna and watched Happy's shoulders shake. He never thought he'd see the day that the Tacoma killer finally broke. He like many of his brothers had always considered him to be a cold hearted son of a bitch. But this was Lacy, his kid. And as Lorca sat there waiting, it occurred to him that maybe Happy would never come back from this.

* * *

Dee shook her head. "I'm sorry, I can't sign this until Happy gets back. He has to be here."

"That's fine honey." The nurse laid the consent form on the cabinet next to the bed. "Lacy should have her family around her to say their goodbyes."

Quinn wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close to his chest. "I wish there was something I could say."

"There's nothing you can say." She rested her head against his chest, soothed by the steady beat of his heart. "What if he never forgives me? What if Lacy was the glue that held us together?"

"He loves you Dee." Quinn stroked her hair. "I don't pretend to understand what you and him are going through right now. And I've got no idea how it will affect your relationship. But I do know you love each other."

"You think that's enough?"

"Shit, darling. I don't know. I hope so. If he loses you as well as his kid, it will destroy him." Gently, he stroked her hair. "I promise that I will be here for both of you for as long as you need me."

"Thank you." Reluctantly she pushed herself away from him and sat back down, taking her niece's hand. "I am doing the right thing, aren't I?"

"There's nothing else you can do." He bent and kissed her head. "I'm going out for a cigarette. You gonna be okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, we'll be fine."

Kozic was leaning on the wall outside. Quinn stood next to him and passed him a cigarette. "You okay, brother?"

"Not really." He blinked and a solitary tear rolled around his cheek. "How can this be happening? She's just a kid. We gotta find the fucker that took her away from us."

"Already on it bro." He patted Kozic on the shoulder. "Leave it to the nomads. You need to deal with your own shit right now."

"You know what brother. I have no idea how I'm supposed to do that." He pushed himself away from the wall and walked slowly back inside to spend the last precious minutes with his daughter.

Quinn turned. "Hey. Who's with Hap?"

"Lorca."

Lorca's cell rang. With one eye still on his brother, he answered. "Quinn."

"You need to get Hap back here. Dee shouldn't have to do this on her own."

"I dunno man. I aint ever seen him like this. He's falling apart here."

"And his old lady isn't?"

"Okay, I'll talk to him. Aint making no promises though."

He hung up and reluctantly approached Happy. "Hap. We really need to get back to the hospital."

Happy looked up with red rimmed eyes. "Aint going back there to watch them pull the plug on my kid."

Lorca rested his hand on his shoulder. "They gonna pull the plug whether you're there of not. If you love that kid you will be there to say goodbye. You think this isn't killing Dee as much as it is you?"

"Then why's she agreeing to do it?"

"Because Lacy's dead. It's just the machines keeping her alive. I'm sorry Hap. If I was in you position and it was one of my kids. Shit. I can't even bring myself to think about it. I can only imagine how much you're hurting. But please, go and say goodbye to your little girl."

* * *

The room was silent. Happy, Dee, and Kozic watched as the ventilator was removed and the machines switched of. Happy felt Dee's hand slip into his as Lacy's chest became still. He reached out and brushed the long blonde hair away from his kid's face and bending down, kissed her on the cheek. "Night sugar. Sweet dreams."


	33. Chapter 33

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY THREE

They had decided against an open casket. One side of Lacy's face had been pretty much caved in and it was agreed that it was better for everyone to remember her the way she had been. The casket lay in the funeral home, bedecked with flowers and a hideous pink sparkly unicorn waiting to be transported the short distance to the cemetery. Outside, in the weak winter sun, bikers, school friends and family members milled around, waiting for the cortege to leave.

Dee, with the help of Yaz, Lorca's old lady had organised pretty much everything. Lacy was a club kid and every one had rallied round to offer help and support wherever they could. Despite this, she had never felt so alone. The one person she wanted to lean on wasn't there.

* * *

Quinn pushed open the clubhouse door and limped to the bar. "What you doing here, Hap?"

"Drinking." He scowled. "Aint you supposed to be at the funeral home, sniffing round my old lady, like you been doing for the last week?"

"You're hurting. And because of that I'm gonna let that little comment go." Quinn pulled himself up to his full height. "But let's be clear. You ever make an accusation like that again, and I aint gonna be so friendly."

Happy shrugged and turned back to his bourbon. "Don't much give a shit what you do, bro."

"So this is how it's gonna be is it? You, here alone, wallowing in self pity, while your old lady carries all this shit on her own? What about your brothers? Kozic? Your ma? How is it that they can be there for Lacy but you can't?"

"You wanna stay outta shit you don't understand."

"How about you explain it to me. C'mon, Hap. How is it that your pain is greater than theirs? Your Ma who practically raised that girl and despite not being well has flown out to say her goodbyes. Kozic losing his daughter so soon after finding her. Dee who was more of a mom to her than her real mother ever was. Jack who's lost his big sister so soon after losing his mom. You want me to go on?"

"She was my kid."

"I know."

"No you don't. None of you do. She was everything to me, everything. The one pure thing in my life. Without her, when I look inside myself all I can see is darkness." He swallowed and closed his eyes. "It's like the light has gone out of my life."

"And Dee. What about her?"

"I love Dee."

"Then be there for her."

"I can't. She don't need to be dealing with my shit. Right now the best thing I can do for her, is to stay as far away from her as possible."

"The best thing you can do for her is to be there. I'm sick of this bullshit. You made her your old lady. Does that mean nothing to you?"

Happy slumped across the bar. "I can't. She pulled the plug on my kid."

"Fuck, man. You still stuck on that? Lacy was dead. What is it gonna take to get it into that thick skull of yours? SHE WAS DEAD!" Quinn pushed himself away from the bar. "In an hour we will be burying your kid. I can't force you to be there."

"No you can't."

"You stay here and you can kiss your relationship with Dee goodbye."

"She tell you that?"

"No." He shook his head. "She doesn't know I'm here. I aint doing this for her, you big dumb fuck. I'm doing it for you."

"Why?"

"You're my brother and I love you. I cant pretend to know what you're going through. I do know, though, that the person that will get you through this is waiting for you at the funeral home. Please Hap, don't shut her out."

* * *

Leaning on her sister's arm, Yvonne made her way through the crowds to where Dee was standing, talking to Tig. It was clear, even from that distance, that that she was struggling to hold it together and that if wasn't for these rough bikers and their old ladies she would have fallen apart days ago.

Her sister frowned and looked around. "Where's Happy?"

"I don't know Fay, but I've got a horrible feeling that he's run out on that girl over there."

"Why would he do that? He loves Dee."

"Yes he does. But he's just lost Lacy, and that little girl was his whole world. The fallout from that is going to be massive. He's hurting and when he's hurt, he lashes out. My guess is he's trying to stay away so he doesn't hurt her."

Dee watched as Yvonne and Fay approached. "Shit, Tig." She hissed. "I can't do this any more. What am I supposed to say?"

"You're doing fine, doll. Happy's mom is a tough old broad, and she knows what a douche he can be. Tell her the truth. He aint dealing, but you are." He squeezed her shoulder. "I'm right here, an' I aint going anywhere."

"Thanks." She stepped forward and kissed Yvonne on the cheek. "Hey."

"Hey, girl." The older woman wrapped her arms around her, and any remaining self control Dee possessed disappeared. She all but collapsed, sobbing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Shhh. This wasn't your fault." Yvonne held her and stroked her hair, making soothing sounds, just like she'd done when Dee was a kid. She looked up to where Tig was standing. "Where's Happy?"

Tig shrugged, and with his hands on her upper arms, gently pulled Dee away. "I'm sorry doll. But we gotta get this done."

"I know." Dee wiped her eyes and blew her nose. "Can you get every one ready to move?"

"Sure." He led them to the car, and as soon as they were settled, nodded to the pall bearers. Dee guessed that the sons were well practiced at funeral processions as the group moved off with the ease of a well oiled machine. Later, if she'd been asked, she wouldn't be able to say what songs were played, or what Kozic had said from the pulpit. Or even who had been standing next to her. All she could focus on, was the casket at the front of the chapel and that Happy wasn't there. And as she had watched as lacy was lowered into the ground with Jack's hand in hers and tears streaming down her face, she knew that she'd lost more than her niece. She'd lost Happy too.

* * *

It was 3AM and the only sound on the deserted Tacoma streets was the roar of Happy's Dyna. He wanted to go home, to fall asleep in the arms of his old lady. But Lacy was everywhere, in every room, her ghost lingered. Even outside, the sight of that ugly old truck of hers, tore at his heart. So instead he rode, his vision blurred and his eyes stinging, the sound of his sobs drowned out by the roar from those straight pipes.

A short distance behind, ignoring the doctor's advice and gritting his teeth against the pain as the muscle in his left leg pulled. Happy's oldest friend rode, keeping pace with his stricken brother. He might not have realised it, but Happy needed his family. And Quinn wasn't going to let him down.

* * *

There was no doubt in Greg and GoGo's minds who was responsible for the murder of Happy's kid. That stupid fucking gash had disappeared immediately after the attack. GoGo had spoken to the owner and he had confirmed that she was also wanted by the pigs. Now all they had to do was find her before the law did. Happy needed this and Greg in particular felt responsible. The bitch had been pushing up on him and he'd liked the idea of a warm bed and a wet pussy away from the clubhouse to visit now and then. So like a fool he'd let his dick do his thinking for him and found her the job at the gas station. He had no idea why she'd done it. Maybe they'd had a fight. Whatever the reason. Lacy was dead and Happy was going to want retribution. And as soon as the nomads found her, that's what he would get.


	34. Chapter 34

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY FOUR

They rode. And rode. For hour after hour, along deserted roads. Both pushing their Dynas harder than they'd ever been pushed before. Happy rode like he had a hundred demons snapping at his tail, trying to outrun the darkness that threatened to envelope him, desperate for the roar of the engine to drown out the screaming in his head. All the while Quinn matched his speed, never trying to catch up. Hell, the last thing he wanted to do was look at the expression on his brother's face. He just stayed far enough away so as not to intrude on Happy's pain, but close enough to be able to watch over him. Eventually though, the pain in his thigh started to become unbearable and spotting a truck stop up ahead, he twisted the throttle and caught up with the bike in front. He pointed to his right, sighing with relief as Happy co-operated and pulled over.

The diner was small, more of an afterthought attached to a seven eleven, and the place looked in need of a good clean. Right now, though, Quinn didn't care. As long as the coffee was hot and there was somewhere he could sit and rest his aching leg, it was fine by him. Neither man spoke as they sat at a greasy table by the window. Pulling her top down a fraction, exposing more of her ample breasts, the waitress walked over, swinging her hips. It wasn't often you got hot bikers out this way. "What can I get you fellas?"

"Two coffees, black." Quinn's eyes never left his brother. "You hungry, Hap?"

Happy doubted he'd ever want to eat again. "Nah, just coffee." He frowned and looked out of the window. "Why'd you follow me?"

"Just watching your back bro." He shrugged. "I'm pretty sure you'd do the same for me."

"Don't need someone watching me. Especially if that someone had decided to keep my kid's murderer away from me."

"You spoke to Greg?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Nothing to tell. The nomads are out looking. When they find her, she's all yours. Till then the best thing you can do is concentrate on your family."

"Aint got no family."

"You got Dee, your ma, your brothers."

"Lacy was my family."

"Yes she was. Look Hap. You gotta get right with this. I've been sitting behind you for the last two hundred miles, an' I've seen the way you've been riding. The way you are right now. You aint no use to anyone, not to Dee or the club. A son with a death wish is worse than no son at all."

He fell silent as the waitress brought their coffees. "You sure I can't get you anything else, honey?" She simpered then, with a look of horror, stepped back as Happy glared at her, his eyes dead and emotionless.

"No. Now fuck off."

Quinn shook his head. "Hap. Enough." He turned to the waitress. "I apologize for my brother ma'am. He's suffered a loss and it seems to have affected his manners." He watched as she scurried away. "You gonna insult every civilian we come across?"

"What do you care?" He stood and marched towards the exit.

"Shit." Quinn dropped some cash on the table and hurried after him. "Hap. Wait up."

Happy stopped and turned, frowning at how marked Quinn's limp was. "You okay?"

"Yeah, peachy. I've had no sleep and ridden like a bat outta Hell for the last two hundred miles with an infected bullet wound in my leg, trying to stop you from killing your stupid ass." He grinned. "And I gotta say it's a decision I'm beginning to regret."

"Never asked you to follow me."

"No you didn't. Luckily for you I'm a persistent fucker. I'm gonna be sticking to you until you finally get your head outta your ass and realise that there's a whole bunch of people who are there for you." He shifted, taking his weight off his bad leg. "So don't you go feeling bad, cos I'm in pain and really wanted that coffee."

"I guess I could do with a coffee too." Happy started to walk back to the diner. "Then I guess we better head back to Tacoma. If you fuck up your leg, Dee will rip me a new one."

* * *

Candice peeked through the window overlooking the motel parking lot. She was sure she had heard a bike, but there was none to be seen. Sighing, she sat back down on her bed. Paranoia didn't begin to describe what she was feeling. Dixon had warned her not to use her credit card and to keep moving. Both the cops and the nomads would be looking for her, and if she was lucky the law would catch up with her first. As soon as she'd called him, he'd taken off across the border into Canada, promising that they could meet up as soon as the heat was off. They both knew, of course, that it was never going to happen, and when she'd seen the news reports that Lacy was dead, she knew it was only a matter of time before she joined her.

If she'd had been smarter she would have ditched her car. But Candice had never been very bright. And as he parked his bike out of sight of the motel, it was something Greg was extremely grateful for. Pulling out his cell he dialled.

Quinn grunted as the sound of his phone penetrated his dreams. "What?" He glanced at the clock on the side. 4am. Fuck. Was he ever going to get a full night's sleep?

"I've found her."

"Good. Do you think you can get her to Tacoma without fucking it up?"

Greg frowned, but said nothing. He knew his president was pissed with him for getting her the job at the gas station and not telling him or Happy. Technically he hadn't done anything wrong, but as Quinn had pointed out, Happy wouldn't see it that way and the best he could hope for was a beat down in the ring. "Frankie's on his way with a van. We should be in Tacoma by the end of the week."

"Okay. Keep me informed. Oh and…"

"Yeah I know. Don't fuck this up."

* * *

Happy opened his eyes and groaned as a wave of nausea hit him. It had been four days since the funeral and he still hadn't been able to face going home, preferring instead to drink himself unconscious every night at the clubhouse. His brothers were giving him a wide birth, tiptoeing around him, none of them wanting to be on the receiving end of his temper.

Reluctantly, he dragged himself out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom. Maybe today he would man up and go home to face his old lady.

Quinn sat on the ratty old sofa in the corner of the clubhouse, not even acknowledging the leggy blonde who was currently running her fingers up and down his chest. He didn't mind staying in the clubhouse, although Happy's place was infinitely more comfortable. While happy was staying there so would he. Maybe by the end of the day his brother would be ready to go home. He pulled out his cell. "Greg. Talk to me."

"Warehouse at the end of Lakeside Boulevard. Set back from the road, double blue doors."

"Okay, we'll be there in a couple of hours." He nudged the sweet butt.

"Hey darlin' How about you go and fix up some bacon and eggs for me and Happy."

"Okay sweetie." She kissed him and sashayed toward the kitchen.

As she walked away he pulled him self to his feet and headed towards Happy's dorm. He banged on the door and walked in. "Hap." Happy came out of the bathroom, and Quinn nodded approvingly, at least he'd taken a shower today. "Got that skinny blonde cooking you some breakfast. You need to eat. We got a busy day ahead of us. The nomads have got you a present."

The warehouse hadn't been used for years and it reeked of decay. The huge cavernous space was empty, save for a lone figure tied to a metal chair with a feed sack over her head. Quinn turned to where Greg and Frankie were standing. "She say anything?"

"Yeah, stupid fucking bitch sang like a bird as soon as we snatched her. I guessed she though we'd go easy on her." Frankie grinned. "Dixon is still alive. Wanted intel on Happy and you. Happy's kid rumbled her an' she panicked, and, well, you know the rest."

Quinn nodded and looked over to where Happy was standing, staring, emotionlessly at the girl in the middle of the room. "You and Greg wait outside." Frankie nodded and with his arm slung casually over his fellow nomad's shoulder and headed outside, closing the door behind them.

Candice blinked as the sack was pulled from her head and gasped as Happy brought his face close to hers. "You know who I am?" She nodded. "I aint gonna ask you why you did it. It don't much matter." He straightened up. "All the way here, I been thinking of things I want to do to you. Problem is, none of it is enough. You killed my kid, and nothing I do to you will come close to the pain that has caused me and my old lady." He reached down and cutting the tape that was binding her hands, almost tenderly ran his thumb across her fingers. "You see, If I snap your finger like this." He waited till the screaming stopped. "It hurts, sure, and I can carry on…" One by one , he snapped her fingers. "But it don't come close to what I'm feeling." He leaned back and examined her face, before continuing in an almost matter of fact manner. "They took my kid's organs, her heart, her liver, everything. Gave them to someone else. It was Dee who agreed to that. She said it was only right that something good came out of Lacy's death. She's an amazing woman, my old lady. I could never have signed those forms. Couldn't stand the thought of them mutilating my little girl. Dee though, she didn't hesitate. Said it was what Lacy would have wanted. She was right of course. Lacy was like her aunt and would have loved the idea that someone would live because of her." He smiled and pulled out his knife. "Maybe that's what you should do." He slit open her tee shirt, exposing her breasts. "Ever considered organ donation?" He drew the knife slowly down her chest, watching as the blood trickled down and pooled on the chair between her legs. "Apparently it's important to keep the doner alive as long as possible. Maybe, we should start with the cornea." Candice struggled as the tip of the blade came closer to her eye, and he grabbed her hair to keep her head still. "Course, Lacy could only donate one, you'd damaged the other too much."

Quinn pushed himself away from the wall and pulling out his glock, pressed it against her temple and pulled the trigger. "That's enough, Hap."

"What the fuck did you do that for?" Happy launched himself at the bigger man, sending them both crashing to the floor. "You had no right.." He managed to get a punch in before he was dragged off by Greg and Frankie. Quinn got to his feet and spat the blood from his split lip on the floor. "it's okay. Let him go, and get back out side."

As soon as he was released, Happy sank to his knees. "Why did you stop me? She had to know how it feels. What she did."

Kneeling in front of him, Quinn took Happy's face in his hands. "No amount of pain you inflicted on her would take away your own."

"So what will?" He picked up the gun that was laying on the floor. "Maybe you should put it to my head."

"That what you want? Didn't have you down as a coward."

"I aint."

"Then face up to this. You can start by going home to your old lady."

"I can't go back there."

"Why?"

"She's everywhere."

"Tell me about her."

"What?"

"Lacy. Tell me about her. What was she like?"

"You know what she was like."

"Not when she was a kid. Tell me Hap. Talk to me."

"Fearless and angry, that was my Lacy." He gave a shaky smile. "When she was a baby, she screamed all the fucking time. The only place she would sleep was here." He pointed to his chest. "Must've been the sound of my heart or something. I spent hours with her just laying there with her on my chest. Every time I tried to move her, she'd start that fucking bawling again. Even when she got older, if she was upset, that's where she wanted to be." He slowly pulled himself to his feet. "She had a temper like you wouldn't believe. There was times when I swear I wanted to strangle her. Then she'd smile and I'd be putty in her hands. Nothing topped the feeling of her arms round my neck and hearing her tell me she loved me. That bitch." His lip curled as his gaze fell on the body in the chair. "She stole that away from me."

"Yes she did. And now she's dead." With a grunt, Quinn too, stood up and handed his brother a cigarette.

Happy took the offered cigarette and lit it, taking a huge breath. "It aint enough."

"No, brother. I don't suppose it is." He patted him on the shoulder. "I don't know how you work through this, but I do know you can't do it on your own."


	35. Chapter 35

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY FIVE

Dee looked up at the sound of Happy's Dyna pulling up outside the house. There had been a time before…..before, when she would have greeted him at the door. There would have been a hot meal and a cold beer waiting for him. Not now though. It had been just over two months since he had come home. Or someone had. She barely recognized the man that she shared a house with. Happy had never been a verbose man, but now, since…. since….but now, he never spoke. Neither of them did. That big loving home that had once been filled with noise, was silent. There was no laughter, no slamming doors or too loud music. Happy's brothers no longer spent any time there. It was just her and Happy, rattling around in that big empty house, wrapped in their own pain. He didn't look at her anymore, didn't touch her. He would come in after work, shower, and either disappear into his den or to the clubhouse. She'd tried everything to get him to talk. Meals she'd cooked were taken into the den. If she tried to touch him, he brushed her hand away. They no longer shared a bed. On the rare occasions they had sex, he would get up straight afterwards and go and sleep downstairs. She couldn't remember the last time he'd kissed her or wrapped his arms around her waist and held her, just because he wanted to feel her close to him. No that was a lie. She remembered precisely, the last time he'd kissed her, the last time he'd held her. It was that morning, before….before everything changed. She closed her eyes as the front door slammed and he headed straight for the den without even acknowledging her. She couldn't do this anymore, living this half life. Her kid was dead and her man couldn't even stand to be in the same room as her. None of this was her fault. What had she done to deserve this? Taking a deep breath she switched off the TV and walked to the den. "Hap?" She pushed open the door.

"What you want Dee?"

She wasn't going to be put off by his attitude. If they were done, he was going to have to tell her. "I need to talk to you."

"So talk." He turned back to the TV.

"Are we done Hap?" She was almost too afraid to look at him. She could feel the tension running through him. "I cant go on like this."

"Then leave."

"Is that what you want?"

"What I want is for you to leave me alone."

"If you didn't want to be with me, why did you come back?"

"This is my house."

"No, it's our house. Your's, mine, Lacy's."

"Lacy's gone."

"I know. Fuck, I know. But I still want to talk about her. I can't just pretend she never existed."

"Then find someone to talk to."

"Hap. Please." She sat down next to him. "Why are you being like this?"

"Like what."

"Pushing me away. Punishing me. I haven't done anything wrong."

"You pulled the plug on my kid!" He jumped to his feet and unleashed, the rage that for weeks had been building inside him. "You let them cut her open and take her heart." He hurled the glass he'd been holding across the room. "You forced me to stand and watch, as they murdered my little girl."

"What else was I supposed to do? You were there, you heard the doctor." Dee too, was on her feet. Inches from his face. "What did you want? To leave her attached to those machines for ever? She isn't dead because of me. It was because of you, because of the club. If it wasn't for the club, she'd still be alive. Oh!"

He backhanded her so hard, it almost knocked her off her feet. "Shut the fuck up."

"No I wont. I have tiptoed around you for long enough. Hit me again, if you think it will make you feel better. But it wont change anything. Lacy is dead! She's dead because that whore smashed a fire extinguisher into her skull. Not because I gave permission for them to switch off her life support. You're angry, I get that. I'm angry too. I'm angry at her for dying. At the club for setting events in motion that led to her death. At the doctors for not saving her. I'm angry at Quinn, at the bitch that killed her. I'm angry at God. Fuck Happy. I'm angry at the whole goddamned universe." She stepped forward and punched him as hard as she could on the chest. "But mostly I'm angry at you. How dare you shut me out! What makes you think you are the only one who is hurting? Do you know what. You stay here and wallow in self pity. I'm done with you." She turned and stormed out, leaving him staring behind her.

"Dee."

"What do you want?" She carried on throwing clothes into her suitcase, keeping her back to him.

"Don't go." He sat heavily on the bed. "Stay."

"What, so you can slap me around some more?"

"That's not fair."

"Isn't it?" She straightened up and turned to face him. "No you're right. That wasn't fair. But guess what, Hap. Life isn't fair. If it was, Lacy would still be here and you'd still love me. But she isn't and you don't. And there's nothing I can do to change that."

"I do love you."

"No you don't, and I'm beginning to doubt that you ever did. I think it's best for both of us if I just go."

"I'm sorry."

"What for? For shutting me out? For blaming me? What Hap. C'mon what are you sorry for?" She blinked away her tears and squared her shoulders. "How about you tell me."

"Everything. I'm sorry for everything." He stood and cupped her face. "But mostly I'm sorry for making you feel like I don't love you. Every thing you said is true apart from that. I've let you down." He shrugged. "Story of my life. If you choose to walk away, I wont stop you. You deserve better."

Dee took a step back and sat on the edge of the bed. "I don't think there will ever be a time when I don't love you, but I can't live like this any more. I'm not saying it's forever. But I need some space away from here."

"Where will you go?"

She shrugged. "Back to Cali. Maybe LA. Just for a while. I need to get my head straight." Tentatively she reached out and touched his face. "I will come back, I promise."

Happy bowed his head and closed his eyes. How many promises had he made and broken? To Dee? To his ma? To Lacy? "Don't make promises you can't keep. Fact is girl, you've reached the end of your rope, an' we both know it. I have pushed you to your limit, an' I don't blame you for wanting to get away. If you wanna come back, I'll be here. Aint ever gonna be anyone else for me."

* * *

Quinn parked his bike and pulled out the scrap of paper from his pocket. Satisfied he was at the right address, he dismounted and began walking the short distance to the small beach house nestling in the dunes. He had promised Happy that he wouldn't contact his old lady, that he would just discretely check that she was okay. This of course was a lie. Dee leaving had been the final straw, and he wasn't prepared to stand by and watch his brother destroy himself. Dee needed to go home, and that was exactly what she was going to do, even if it meant dragging her kicking and screaming every inch of the way.


	36. Chapter 36

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY SIX

Dee was sitting on the deck overlooking the beach. From his vantage point, Quinn could see that she looked tanned and healthy. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing. Of course it was good, but if she'd looked all pale and sick and shit, it would make his job easier. She turned and frowned at the sound of his footsteps. Not pleased to see him either then. Oh well, time to turn on the old Quinn charm. "Hey, baby girl. How you doing?"

"Rane." She stood, and walking over to him, kissed his cheek. "What are you doing here? Is Happy okay?"

Okay, that was good, she was concerned about Hap. "Just in the area, thought I'd drop by and see how you were doing."

"I'm fine." She turned and walked back towards the house. "Can I get you anything? Beer?"

"Beer would be great." He followed her inside and looked around. "Nice place."

"It's okay. It belongs to my ex boss. He never uses it, so I've got it for as long as I like." She handed him the bottle. "Why you really here, Rane? I'm guessing this isn't just a social call. Did Happy send you?"

"Not exactly." He pulled up a high stool next to the kitchen counter and sat down. "He knew I'd be in the area and asked me to make sure you were still breathing. Didn't want me to contact you though."

"Yet here you are."

"I'm worried about him, Dee."

"And you think I'm not?" She sat on the stool next to him. "I can't fix him. If I could, I wouldn't be here."

"So what, you gonna stay away for ever?"

"I'm not going back to be used as a punch bag."

"He hit you? Shit baby girl, I had no idea." He touched her cheek. "Right now I'd really like to kick his ass."

"It's okay, really. It was little more than a slap. It just showed how bad things had got between us. The old Happy, the man I fell in love with, would have never done that." She sighed. "I'm sorry, Rane. If you came here to try and talk me into going back, you're wasting your time. Me and Happy. We're done."

"So what happens now? With you."

"I don't know. I've found a job in a local law firm. It's not much, but it pays for this place." She smiled. "I've been seeing a counselor she's helped me get my head straight."

"A shrink? Shit Dee."

"Not a shrink. A grief counselor I needed someone to talk to." She saw the expression on his face and shook her head. "Not about the club. About losing Lacy. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Hap to talk about her. He just wanted to shut her away, like she never existed. I'm not like that, I can't function with all those emotions bubbling away inside me. Talking has helped me realize a lot of stuff about myself as well." She slid off the stool and walked outside, followed closely by Quinn. Sitting on the back step, she took a swig of her beer and stared out across the beach. "I was really happy, you know, before…"

"Before Lacy was killed." Quinn sat down next to her and took her hand.

"Yeah. Before Lacy was killed. It was everything I'd ever wanted. Oh it wasn't perfect, life rarely is. But despite Hap disappearing for weeks on end and Lacy slamming doors, things were pretty damned good, and if you'd have asked me then, I'd have said that there was nothing that me and Hap couldn't survive. Of course, I never in a million years, thought we would lose Lacy. But it that wasn't what came between us. It was Hap's inability to deal with it. I didn't leave, Rane. He drove me away."

"He's hurting real bad."

"I know. I'm hurting too. The difference is, I've spent the last two months learning to deal with my pain. Whereas he just tries to bury it. I will never get over losing Lacy, and I don't want to, she was a massive part of my life. But I can't let what happened destroy any future relationship I might have. I still want a family, you know, kids, a husband. Things I've always wanted. I may have lost Lacy and Hap, but I refuse to believe that I'll never love again sometime in the future." She looked down at her small hand enveloped in his huge one. "I know why you're here Rane. And I understand. You're looking out for Hap, but there really is nothing I can do. You're a good friend to him, and he's lucky to have you. Maybe one day he'll realize it."

"Can't see it happening anytime soon." He chuckled. "I'm your friend too, and I hate what has happened to you both. You were real good to me when I was sick, in fact if it wasn't for you I'd probably not be here today. I'm not just here cos of Hap. I care about you, baby girl, and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

She turned and studied his profile. "How come you never settled down and got yourself an old lady?"

"I dunno. Never in one place long enough I guess. And I never found the right girl. This life is tough enough at the best of times. But I'm a nomad. Takes a special type of woman to put up with that."

"Do you regret it?"

"Never really thought about it." He frowned. "Truthfully, no. I don't think I do. I love my life."

"Don't you get lonely?"

"Nah. Got my bike, the road, my brothers and all the pussy I could ever need." He tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "Why do you ask?"

"Not sure. You're a good man. The way you look out for your brothers, I think you'd make a great old man." She looked away. Suddenly she wanted to change the subject. "You hungry? There's a great little place just down the beach."

"When am I not hungry?"

"Great." She stood up and held out her hand to him. "Come on, I'll buy you lunch."

They walked along the beach in silence. Quinn smiled as she slipped her arm through his. At least she wasn't pissed with him, which would make what he had planned easier. Despite what he had said, in two days time he was heading out to Tacoma. And she was coming with him, whether she liked it or not.

She hadn't been exaggerating, the food at the little beachside café was superb and despite the odd looks that the huge nomad was attracting they found themselves starting to relax and enjoy themselves. Quinn reached out and touched her hand. "It's good to see you smile, baby girl. I was worried that I'd never see that again."

"There was a time when I thought it would never happen." She smiled. "But Lacy wouldn't want me be to hide away being miserable all the time." She sipped her wine. "Where you planning on staying?"

"Well…." He grinned.

"Fine, you can stay."

"That's what I was hoping you'd say." He pulled out his wallet and dropped some bills on the table, raising his hand as she opened her mouth to object. "Least I could do. C'mon I wanna catch some rays and top up my tan."

Later as they sat on the deck watching the sun dip beneath the horizon and sipping cold beers, Dee allowed herself to lean onto his shoulder and close her eyes. Quinn slipped his arm around her shoulder. "You okay."

"Yeah. Better than I've been for a long time. I know that it isn't what you wanted to hear, but getting away from Tacoma was the best thing I could have done."

"So you're really done with Happy?"

"I am."

Abruptly he shifted so that he was facing her and bringing his hand up to her face, with a gentleness that belied his size, he kissed her.


	37. Chapter 37

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY SEVEN

He kissed her.

It was like no kiss she's ever experienced before. Not possessive like her ex husband, or hungry like Happy. This was completely different. It was gentle, but in no way hesitant. This was a man who was supremely confident. Slowly she brought her hands up and pressed them flat against his chest, her breath catching at how hard he was. His hands, those huge hands, found their way to the small of her back and he pulled her closer. She felt her hands clutch at his vest and she pushed. "No."

"No?"

"No. This is so wrong." She sat back and ran her fingers through her hair. "What the hell were you thinking Rane?"

"I was thinking that there was nothing to stop me, what with you an' Hap being done an' all."

"Is that what this was? Some sort of test? What the fuck is wrong with you. Me and Happy are done, but it doesn't mean I'm going to jump into bed with any one. And I'm certainly not going to jump into bed with you. Ever." She stood up and started to pace up and down across the deck. "Happy is your best friend, for fuck's sake. That is just sick."

Quinn stood and with his hands on her shoulders, forced her to look at him. "Calm down."

"Calm down? Calm the fuck down? Are you kidding me? You can't kiss me like that and then tell me to calm down."

"Kiss you like what?"

"Like…Like. Shit, you just can't okay."

"Okay." He touched her cheek and she resisted the urge to lean into his touch. "I'm sorry, it was a stupid thing to do. But I swear I wasn't planning on hitting on you, and it's not a test. I just wanted to know what it would be like." He grinned. "It was very nice, by the way. But you love Happy, Dee. You've always loved him. It doesn't matter how far you go to get away from him, that wont change. He loves you too. Yeah I know he's a douche, and he doesn't know how to express himself. And what he did to you is unforgivable. I wasn't lying when I said I was worried about him. He says he wants to go nomad."

Dee's eyes widened. "Why would he do that?"

"I Don't know. I know Lee would be glad to see the back of him, maybe he's pushing for it."

"Would Lee really do that?"

"It's not just you he's pushing away. I've never seen him like this. He's lashing out at everyone." He shrugged. "Maybe going nomad will help, I don't know. Let's face we're all a bit psycho."

"You're not psycho, Rane."

He shrugged. "Hap has lost that spark of humanity. Losing Lacy just seemed, I dunno, to snuff it out. I don't know whether it will ever come back. The only emotion I have seen from him is anger."

"I can't fix him. I told you, he wont let me in. It kills me to see him like this." She sniffed and rubbed away her tears. "But I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

Quinn pulled her into his arms. "Come back to Tacoma with me."

"I can't."

"Sure you can. In fact, way I see it you don't have much choice." He brought his hand up to the back of her neck and lifted her hair, exposing her tattoo. "While you wear that ink, you belong to him. You know how it works Dee."

"Not fair Rane. Not fair at all." She pushed herself away from him and sat back down on the step. "You force me to go back there, and I'll run again, and I'll keep on running." He sat down next to her and she leaned against him. "Don't make me go back."

"You know this aint just about what's best for Hap, right?" Again he put his arm round her. "You talk about moving on, finding love again. Who with? Look at me, Dee, and tell me who is gonna measure up to happy?"

"I don't know. Maybe I wont find anyone. But you didn't see what he was like, didn't hear the things he said. Shit. He hit me, and knowing that, you still want me to go back. It's pretty obvious where your loyalties lie."

"Oh don't you worry, baby girl. Me an' Hap are gonna have words about him raising his hand to you. That aint his style, and it aint mine either."

Dee didn't respond, she just stared at her hands, her mind in turmoil. "Why did you kiss me?"

"You want the truth."

"Of course I want the truth."

"The truth is, I'm not really sure." She frowned at him and he chuckled. "Okay, that's a bad answer. I guess I wanted to know if you were really done with Hap."

"I don't believe you could be so arrogant as to believe that just because I was done with Hap I'd sleep with you. Fuck Rane, you've got a pretty low opinion of me."

"Then you'll have to accept my first answer. I don't know why I kissed you. It just seemed like the right thing to do."

"The right thing? Are you fucking insane?"

"A little." He grinned and kissed her again, this time on the top of her head. "How about we just pretend it never happened. I didn't kiss you and you didn't like it."

"I didn't"

"Sure you didn't. Look it was just a kiss, nothing to get all bent out of shape over."

"Okay."

"Good girl. Now how about you go and get me another beer?"

He was right. It was just a kiss, it meant nothing. She loved happy after all, had loved him all her life. Rane was a friend. Not just to Happy, but to her as well, there was no way he would jeopardize that. She couldn't really still feel his lips on hers, it was just her imagination. Her hands didn't really twitch at the memory of how his chest had felt.

Maybe he was right, she needed to go home. After all she had promised Hap that she wouldn't stay away for ever. Yes she'd go home and try and mend their fractured relationship, she owed it to him as well as herself. A she walked back clutching two ice cold bottles, she'd already made up her mind, and couldn't help feeling that this was what Quinn had planned all along.

* * *

Quinn sat astride his Harley and grinned as she climbed into her little red Honda. He'd actually thought that it would take longer to persuade her to go back with him. But she had sat back down and announced that she thought that he was right and she should go home. It seemed prudent to take the bull by the horns, the last thing he wanted was for her to change her mind. And if he was honest, he didn't want to spend too long alone with her. She may have convinced herself that he had kissed her to prove to both of them how she felt about Happy, and to a certain extent that was true. But he still couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment he had felt when she pushed him away. So first thing the following morning he had helped her pack her bags and they had set off on the long drive back to Bakersfield, both silently hoping that this wasn't going to be a horrible mistake.


	38. Chapter 38

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY EIGHT

As he leaned on the clubhouse door, watching Happy sweep his old lady into his arms, Quinn couldn't stop the grin from spreading all over his face. It had been a risk, insisting that she went with him to the clubhouse rather than straight home. He hadn't warned happy they were coming and the was a chance, all be it a small one, that they would walk in and find him buried in a sweet butt. As far as he knew, his brother hadn't been fooling around with other women, Happy set great store by loyalty, not only to his brothers but his old lady too. However he was a man, and a son at that, and he had needs. And there was a whole bunch of women that would gladly service them.

Happy looked up and gave him a tiny nod in thanks before turning his attention back to the woman in his arms. Quinn straightened up and headed out back towards the dorms, a slight unevenness to his stride the only indicator of how tired he was.

Happy closed his eyes and pulled her closer, burying his face in her hair. He would never be able to thank Quinn enough for bringing her back. Until she left he hadn't realized how much he needed her and now she was back he was never going to let her go. He hadn't spoken, neither of them had, they just clung to one another, as if their very lives depended on it. Eventually though they, reluctantly, parted. Cupping her face in his hands, he leant down and kissed her softly on the lips. "Hey."

"Hey."

"You wanna go home?"

"I'm not sure. Could we stay here? Just for tonight."

"Sure." He understood her reluctance to go back there. They couldn't put it off for ever, but right now what they needed was to concentrate on each other, without Lacy's ghost getting in the way. With her hand in his, resisting the urge to go all caveman all on her and throw her over his shoulder, he led her slowly to the dorm he had been using since she had been away.

Once inside, he closed the door and turned the key. He couldn't remember a time he had felt this nervous. It felt that one false move would send her running, and if she ran for a second time he wouldn't get her back. "Dee, I'm so sorry."

"Not now." She laid her hands on his chest and ran them down his torso until they came to rest on the buckle of his belt. Slowly as his mouth came crashing down on hers, she pushed him towards the bed, her hands fumbling on the belt buckle in her haste to get it undone. "Hap. I need.."

Gently he pushed her away and started to undress, his eyes never leaving hers. "Why you still got clothes on?"

She grinned, it was the first time he'd seen that since…since. "On it, Hap." Standing back, he watched as slowly she undressed and sat back on the bed. "God, Dee. You are so beautiful." He sat next to her, and with his hands on her shoulders pushed her down onto her back and began to work his way down her body with his mouth, his progress halted by her small but beautifully pert tits. She began to moan as he sucked and nipped at her left nipple, while squeezing and pinching on the right. His other hand found it's way between her legs and she convulsed the instant his fingers touched her clit. He slid his fingers inside her, she was wet, as wet as she'd ever been. Despite all that had happened between them, her desire for him hadn't diminished.

Dee started to squirm underneath him, wanting more. She pushed him down until his head was between the thighs and he started to feast on her sucking and licking her engorged clit, while her short nails dug into his scalp and her moaning grew louder, heightening his arousal until he felt he would explode. He'd wanted to take it slow, to reacquaint himself with her, but his throbbing cock was having none of it. He had to be inside her, to feel her. "Turn over." Immediately, she complied, getting onto her knees and, without waiting a moment longer, he thrust inside her. He slammed into her again and again until, unable to hold back any longer, he came with a roar and collapsed, gasping for breath on top of her. He rolled over, pulling her with him. "I'm sorry Dee, I didn't want it to be like that. He swallowed and took a deep breath. I wanted to be gentle. To prove I'm not an animal."

Dee laid with her head on his chest, listening to his heart as it slowed to it's normal rate. "You're not an animal. If you was I wouldn't be here."

For both of them, it was the first good night's sleep they'd had for months and when he awoke the next morning, Happy realised it was the first time in months that the day hadn't started with a hangover. The space next to him was empty and he sat up with a frown, until he heard the sound of the shower next door and climbing out of bed, he padded naked to the bathroom to join her.

Dee smiled as he pulled back the curtain and stepped inside the cubicle. She turned and with her arms around his neck began to kiss him, pressing her stomach against his, already hard, cock. She gasped as he lifted her up and pressing her against the wall, pushed himself inside her, his mouth never leaving hers. Immediately her body began to move, slowly at first, her hips started to gyrate, gradually picking up the pace. Happy groaned and started to thrust, feeling her walls close around him as her climax built. Dragging his mouth away from hers, he tipped his head back and as her teeth sank into his shoulder, he gave up the fight and let go, his climax joining hers as they sank to the cubicle floor gasping for breath. For several minute neither moved, too sated to do anything but remain in each other's arms waiting for their breathing to return to normal. Eventually though, as the water started to run cold Happy stood on shaky legs and pulled her to her feet. Reluctantly they dried themselves and got dressed. It wasn't just the results of the morning's exertions that was causing them to dress so slowly. They both knew that they were going to have to go home and talk. It was time to say goodbye to Lacy and face the future without her.

* * *

The house was cold and had that unlived in feel. Dee opened the fridge and wrinkled her nose as the smell hit her. "Shit, Hap. When were you here last?"

He shrugged. "Came by last week to pick up some mail and do some laundry. Haven't slept her since you left." He pulled a roll of garbage bags from the cupboard under the sink and threw in the contents of the vegetable rack before holding it out for Dee to empty the fridge into it. "Been thinking maybe we should sell up. Find somewhere smaller, somewhere….."

"No. If there's one thing I've learned over the last couple of months, it's that you can't run away from your feelings. I love this house, and although it's hard coming back. I hate the thought of someone else living here. There are so many good memories tied up in this place and, given time, we will make some more." She reached out and touched his hand. "It wont always be this hard."

"Wish I had your faith Dee." He took the garbage bag from her and headed out to the back door. "I guess I aint as good at dealing with this shit as you."

When he came back, the kitchen was empty. "Dee?"

"Up here." He found her in Lacy's room sitting on the bed. Seeing him hover in the doorway she smiled. "Come on in. We need to sort out Lacy's stuff."

"Can't we just leave it?"

"No we can't." She held out her hand and reluctantly he entered the room he'd been avoiding since his kid had been taken away from him. "It's been nearly five months, Hap. We have to start moving on."

"I know." He picked up the ratty old pink teddy that lived on the bottom of her bed and pressed it to his lips. "I can still smell her. It's like she's still here."

"I know." She slipped her hand in his. "I'm not saying we have to throw everything away. But I don't want this room turning into a shrine. Lacy has gone and we have to accept that. Life will never be the same, and I for one don't want it to be. But if you and me are to have any future together we have to move on, and this is where we start."

"How about I let you do this on your own." Happy still clutched the teddy, unable to fathom how they were supposed to throw any of Lacy's stuff away.

"No, we do this together."

"I knew you were going to say that." He gave a shaky smile. "Okay, so how do we do this?"

"Three piles. What we keep, what we can throw away, and what goes to the charity shop."

"And how do we decide?"

"We talk."

She was smart, his old lady. Every item in that room contained a memory and as the three piles grew they found themselves talking, sometimes crying but also laughing. Happy pulled opened the wardrobe doors. "Who do these dresses belong to?"

"Lacy."

"Are you shitting me?"

"Nope." Dee grinned

"So how come I never saw her in them? There's no way I'd let her out of the house in that. Shit, the rags I clean my bike with are bigger than that."

"Well I'm guessing that's why you never saw her wearing them."

"Sneaky little minx. If I….." He stopped and swallowed, unable to carry on. "Shit. I miss her so much." Slumping down onto the bed he put his head in his hands.

Dee sat next to him and linked her arm through his. "Me too. We can take a break if you want."

"No I'm okay." He took a deep breath. "Lets get this done."

It took a while and the pile of things to keep was bigger than it should have been, but they both agreed it had been a positive process. Dee was right. Life would never be the same without Lacy, but as long as they had each other they could move on.


	39. Chapter 39

I don't own sons of anarchy

THIRTY NINE

Moving on. It sounded so simple. They were trying, really trying, and to the casual observer, they were succeeding. They weren't avoiding each other any more, and it looked like they were communicating better. However when one half of a relationship was Happy Lowman, who, at the best of times was as talkative as a brick, it was never going to be easy. Dee had to hand it him though, he was making a real effort and opening up more about his feelings, unfortunately, most of those feelings seemed to be anger.

As time moved on and the weeks turned into months, they fell into a routine of sorts. Dee went back to her old job and threw herself into her work. So much so, that she hardly noticed when he was away on any of the numerous 'jobs' he was accepting.

She had been right of course, things would never be the same without Lacy. But life did go on. Whether they wanted it to or not. There were days when she hardly entered their minds, or when they did remember her, it was with a smile. Other days, the grief would hit them like a sledgehammer, knocking them on their asses with it's intensity. Holidays had been particularly difficult. Thanksgiving hadn't been so bad. They had been invited to spend the day with Lorca and Yaz, and although they had both been reluctant, their big family and Happy's brothers meant that the day had been raucous and filled with laughter. Christmas, however was a killer. Lacy had always loved it, even as a teenager. She had always wanted the biggest tree and adored decorating the house and shopping for food and presents for every one. Neither Happy or Dee felt inclined to accept any invitations or wanted to decorate the house. They both just accepted that some days they were going to be sad, and this was going to be one of them. It was days like this that the cracks in their relationship really showed. As soon as he got out of bed, Happy disappeared into his den with a bag of weed and a bottle of JD. Dee knew better than to push him when he was like this. It would have been nice to have someone to share her feelings with, maybe just a shoulder to cry on, but she was going to have to deal this on her own. She had already decided that she would take a drive to the cemetery. It had been a while and she wanted to leave Lacy a gift. Of course Happy had thought it was a dumb idea, and wanted nothing to do with it. Secretly, Dee though it was just another sign that he was trying to bury his emotions, but he insisted he didn't need to visit Lacy's grave. She wasn't there. She was in his heart.

Dee wrapped her coat around her as she crouched in front of the grave. "Hey sweetheart. I bought you a present for Christmas." She sat the small pink teddy up against the headstone. "I wanted to bring your old one, but Hap keeps it in his den. I guess he's more sentimental than he'd have us believe." She pulled up her collar in an attempt to keep the rain from running down the back of her neck and started to brush away the fallen leaves with her hands. "He really misses you Lacy. We both do. It's like there's a big hole in our lives, and I don't know how we're supposed to fill it." She sniffed and looked up as the sound of a Harley broke the silence. For a fleeting moment, she thought it was Happy, but she knew the sound of his bike, and she knew he wouldn't be able to put aside his own grief to help her deal with hers. The bike stopped outside the cemetery gates and she straightened up and looked over as Quinn dismounted and started to walk towards her. "Rane, what are you doing here?" She hadn't seen him since he had brought her back from LA, although apparently he had been in town a couple of times since then.

"Hey, darling. I just swung by your place and saw your car wasn't there. Guessed you'd be here." He kissed her on the cheek. "Where's Hap?"

"At home, drowning in JD and weed."

"Shit. I thought things were getting better."

"They are." She walked over to a wooden bench and sat down. "Most of the time."

"So today's a rough day, huh?" He sat next her and slipped his arm around her shoulders. "He should be here though."

"Maybe." She sighed. "I guess we just have different ways of dealing with stuff."

"What he's doing isn't dealing. You want me to talk to him?"

"No. He's trying, Rane. Really he is. Sometimes, though, he needs the space to do things his own way."

"And what about you Dee? What do you need?"

"I'm okay."

She shivered and he pulled her closer. "How about we go somewhere a little warmer. There a diner down the road that will be open."

"I think I ought to go home." Suddenly she was acutely aware of his body close to hers. "You're welcome to come with me, although the place is a little short on festive cheer."

"Nah, I'm gonna head on over to the clubhouse." He pressed his lips against her forehead. "Don't think your old man would appreciate me being around today. C'mon I'll walk you to your car."

* * *

When, the next morning, Happy emerged, bleary eyed and hungover, he found Dee sitting on the bed reading from a small red journal. "What's that?" He sat next to her and started to read over her shoulder, recognizing at once, Lacy's sprawling handwriting.

"I found it in a box at the back of her closet." She smiled. "There's all sorts of stuff in there. Tickets from the zoo and the aquarium, letters from you when you were locked up, drawings. She kept everything. Have you any idea just how much she loved you?"

"Not sure I deserved it." He kissed her neck. "Not sure I deserve your love either."

"Unless you take shower and clean your teeth, you don't."

With a rueful grin, he complied. He half expected her to join him and had to swallow his disappointment when not only did she not, but when he returned to the bedroom she was nowhere to be seen. However, the smell of bacon cheered him up, he was pretty hungry after all.

Over the next few days they stayed home, avoiding everyone and taking the opportunity to spend some quality time with each other. They didn't talk much, and although they did spend a lot of time making love, it lacked the intensity it once had. It wasn't bad, it was just…. Different. Much of their time, though, was spent just sitting in front of the fire, watching crap on the TV and eating junk food, learning how to be comfortable with each other again. By the time new year's eve came around, both felt ready to face his brothers and their old ladies at the new years eve party.

Dee held tightly onto Happy's hand as they made their way through the clubhouse, she would rather not have gone, but she knew as Happy's old lady she was expected to be there, for a little while at least.

* * *

Yaz leaned back onto her husband, his arms wrapped round her, and watched as they weaved their way through the crowds. She sighed, she had grown very fond of Dee and watching her trying to hold, not only herself but Happy, together for these last few months had both broken her heart and impressed her. She often wondered whether happy realized just how incredibly strong his old lady was. Lorca gave her a squeeze and kissed her shoulder. "You still worried about them?"

"I guess. I know they're doing better, but.." She hesitated, wondering if she was betraying her friend's confidence. "You know how they used to be. I'm not sure they will ever get that back. It's like they're going through the motions half the time."

"Dee say anything to you?"

"No not really. I just get the feeling that Hap's not really there for her any more. I just worry that she will crack under the strain."

"Maybe you should organize something, like a girls night. I reckon she really could do with a friend right now." Lorca glanced over to where Quinn was leaning on the far wall watching them intently. "If Happy can't be there for her, she could start looking for someone who is. And if that happens…."

Yaz grinned "Defcon one."


	40. Chapter 40

I don't own sons of anarchy

FORTY

Lost. It was the only word he could think of to describe himself. He hardly recognised the man who stared back at him in the mirror each morning. Dee had tried to push him into expressing his feelings, but when he looked deep inside himself, the only emotion resting there was rage. It seethed and bubbled inside him, like molten lava threatening to burst forth like Vesuvius, destroying everything in it's path. The old Happy, the man he was before, had been slow to anger. Despite what he did for the sons, he rarely lost his temper. He had believed that the angry teenager he had once been had disappeared forever. But now, he was back with a vengeance. Over the past few months he had accepted any job at any charter. He had done everything from protection runs, to torture, to killing. Nothing he did would quell the fire.

The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt his old lady, he loved her, or at least he had done. No, he still did, he must do. He just couldn't find that feeling anymore. He had been so intent on burying his rage that he had buried everything as well.

Sometimes, there was something else. The best way to describe it would be a pain, although that didn't really come close to what he felt. It enveloped him, suffocating him and twisting him up inside. On days like this, he would lock himself away and drink himself into oblivion. When he was unconscious he couldn't see his kid's face anymore.

* * *

As they walked towards the clubhouse, he felt Dee's hand slip into his. She really didn't want to be there and to be honest, neither did he. But it was New Year's Eve and everyone was expected to attend. He could have made an excuse for them, certainly for Dee but it hadn't occurred to him until they were crossing the lot, just how much she was going to hate this. Again, he was letting her down. Even after Quinn had brought her back, and despite the promises he had made her, and himself, he couldn't bring himself to care. He was going through the motions, they talked more, at least about superficial stuff. They fucked too and he no longer got up and sloped off to his den afterwards. But he couldn't quite look her in the eye, and on those days when he knew she was struggling, he would pretend not to notice, preferring to disappear to the clubhouse or to go for a long ride.

Maybe he should have felt guilty, but he didn't. He didn't feel anything at all.

The clubhouse was packed, sons, old ladies and hangarounds filled the place and loud music pumped from the PA, making any sort of conversation difficult. Hell, that was fine by Happy. He couldn't remember the last time he'd actually wanted to talk to anyone. Not that any one would want to talk to him. Most of his brothers gave him a pretty wide berth these days.

Pushing his way through the bar, he ordered a JD for himself and a beer for Dee. If he had to be here, he might as well get smashed on free booze.

"Hap." Dee touched his arm and he frowned. They hadn't been there long but already he was on his fifth double. "I really don't want to be here. I think I'm going to head off home."

"I want you to stay." He handed the prospect his empty glass for a refill.

"But."

"No buts, Dee. You will leave when I say you can leave."

"Shit, Hap. Really?" She started to turn and he grabbed her by the arm and pushed her roughly against the bar.

"You will do as I fucking tell you." Their eyes met and he saw a flash of something. Fear. She was scared of him. His cock twitched. Hello, that was new. "Stay the fuck there."

"Brother." Quinn leaned on the bar, positioning himself between Happy and his old lady. "Enjoying the party?"

"Having a ball. Now if you'll excuse me. I got things to say to my old lady."

"I think you've done talking to her, brother." Quinn straightened up.

"You should stay outta my shit, brother." Happy threw the last of his JD down his throat. "Bitch needs putting in her place."

"Now Hap. I'm not the type of dude to get between a brother and his old lady and I'm sure I was mistaken when it looked like you were man handling her."

Dee gently touched his back. "It's okay Rane."

"No it's not Dee." He turned. "Why don't you go and talk to Yaz. Me and your old man need to have a little chat."

"No. It's not that I don't appreciate you looking out for me. But really, it's fine."

"Yeah, why don't you fuck off, and leave me and my old lady alone." If Happy had been sober he would never have talked to Quinn like that. There were few people who could take him down, but the big nomad was one of them. And you never disrespected a president of any charter. "Of course if you'd like a piece, I'm sure we can come to some arrangement."

"I'm gonna pretend I never heard that Hap, but if you ever disrespect me like that again, we are gonna have a serious problem."

Happy shrugged. "There's always the ring."

"Oh you'd fucking love that. I'm your brother and I'm your friend, and as such I can let your disrespect pass. But this." He pointed to his president patch. "You will respect."

"You lost my respect when you started pushing up on my old lady."

"Hap!" Dee stepped forward. "Rane would never do that. How could you say that?"

"Cos I got eyes bitch." He pushed Quinn out of the way and loomed over her. "You telling me that asshole wasn't fucking you in LA?"

"Of course not." They were yelling now. All around them, conversations were stopping and people were looking over at them.

"Bullshit. You've always been all over him, even before….before." He swallowed. "What I don't understand is why you came back."

"Because I love you. And so does Rane. Shit, Hap I cant believe you would think that either of us would do something like that. I'm not my fucking sister." She spun on her heel and pushed her way through the crowd towards the door.

Happy glared at the assembled crowd. "What the fuck are you looking at."

Kozic laughed and slung his arm around Quinn's shoulder. "A fucking idiot."

* * *

"You okay?" Yaz leaned against the clubhouse wall and passed her joint to Dee.

"I can't believe he would say something like that. He knows how I feel about him." Dee took a long drag on the joint and passed it back.

Yaz stared out across the lot. "I guess after everything that happened, he's scared you're drifting apart. And you and Quinn are close."

"Jesus. Not you too. I would never cheat on Happy, ever. I know things aren't great between us." She sighed. "Sometimes it feels like I don't know him anymore, but I still love him. No matter how bad things got, I could never do anything to hurt him."

"And Quinn? He's never pushed up on you?"

"Of course not. He loves Happy. If it wasn't for him, I'd probably still be in LA."

"If you love him so much, why did you leave? Shit, if I pulled a stunt like that Lorca would drag me back by my hair."

"I told you before."

"No you gave some bullshit story about you both needing some space. He hit you didn't he? That's the only reason you would leave."

Dee closed her eyes, but said nothing. Yaz frowned. "You gonna run again?"

"He scares me sometimes. When I look into his eyes, it's like he's not there. I never wanted to run in the first place."

"That sounds like a yes." Yaz pushed herself away from the wall. "You're an old lady. Your place is next to Happy, giving him the support that he needs. That ink you wear, doesn't come off. You belong to him until he says otherwise." She shivered. "It's cold, I'm going back in. I suggest you do the same."

Dee watched as she walked back in, then turned and walked in the opposite direction out onto the cold Tacoma streets.


	41. Chapter 41

I don't own sons of anarchy

FORTY ONE

_Happy,_

_I didn't want to have to do this, and maybe I was naïve, but I thought that as long as we loved each other, we could work through this. I know now that I was wrong. I'm not blaming you, you cant help how you feel. But this isn't my fault either. Whatever it was that we had, has gone._

_I can't stay any longer. If I do, you are going to hurt me, and I can't allow that to happen. I'm not leaving because I don't love you, I do. As much as I ever did. It's not even that you accused me of cheating with your best friend, even though it kills me that you could think that I would ever do something like that. I'm leaving because if I stay, you will destroy me._

_I don't know where I am going, and even if I did I wouldn't tell you. Please don't try to find me._

_I hope that with time you can come to terms with losing Lacy, but to do that, Happy, you have to open up your heart and I don't think that's something you are capable of. You are a good man, and you were the best father Lacy could have hoped for._

_Thank you for all the good times. I'm sorry it had to end like this._

_I will love you always._

_Dee._

Happy tore through the house like a tornado, smashing everything in his path. That rage that he had kept bottled up for so long was finally unleashed and nothing was safe. He'd lost her, for good this time. And he had no one to blame but himself. Finally, exhausted, he sank onto the bed and looked around the trashed bedroom, his eyes falling on the box containing Lacy's keepsakes. He wondered briefly why Dee hadn't taken it, but he already knew the answer. She had left it for him, in the hope that one day he would be brave enough to look inside. Taking a deep breath, he bent and picking up the box, opened the lid.

Dee hadn't been exaggerating, Lacy had kept everything. Typically of her, there was no order. There were letters from him. Birthday cards and recipes for his favourite food from his ma, even letters from Mona. There were photographs, some of her with her friends, some with Jack and Mona and some with him. As he looked at them, Happy felt that familiar pain rising in his chest. She looked so happy, so beautiful. He ran his thumb across the image. "I fucked up Sugar. If you were here, you would be ripping me a new one right now. I've lost her, Lace." He laid the photographs on the bed and pulled out a pink sketch pad and started to turn the pages. Inside, as well as drawings, there were poems, quotes, song lyrics and what looked like diary entries. Again, because this was Lacy and she had always been chaotic, there was no particular order. It was as if when something popped into her head she opened the book on any page and jotted it down in her sprawling, messy handwriting. Feeling like he was in some way spying on her, Happy's eyes fell on an entry.

_'Wow. Finally Happy and Dee got it together! I am soooo stoked. Perhaps he will stop being such a miserable asshole now. Dee is soooo cool and she has loved him for like forever. Course he was too stupid to notice. She wont cheat like mom did and she will always be there for him. I really hope it works out for them both.'_

He turned the page.

_'Shit Happy is such an asshole, he knows I wanted to go to Kelly's party on Saturday. And now he's saying no just cos I was late home last night. It's not my fault that I missed the bus. If he had come and gave me a ride home I would have got home on time. He was probably fucking some tart. I really hate him sometimes. At least mom didn't have a curfew.'_

He smiled. She had given him so much shit over that. His breath caught as the pain intensified and he snapped the book closed. Even though he knew she wouldn't answer he pulled out his cell and dialled Dee's number. "Please, Dee. I'm not gonna pressure you, but please call me and let me know you're ok. I just, I just need to hear your voice. I'm sorry baby girl. I should never have accused you of cheating. I'm an asshole, but I do love you. Bye."

Even as he laid the phone back on the bed, he knew she wouldn't call him back. He was amazed she had put up with him for as long as she had. Him pushing her around and accusing her of cheating had been the final straw. Shit. He ran his hand over his head. She didn't deserve that.

* * *

Quinn parked his bike and headed round to the back of the house. He lifted the stone that hid the back door key and let himself in. "Shit." Happy had really done a number on the place. "Hap. Where you at?"

"Up here."

Quinn negotiated his way through the wreckage and ran up the stairs to where Happy was sitting, sifting through Lacy's mementoes. "I take it by the carnage, your old lady has taken off." He sat down on the bed. "You're a fucking idiot Hap."

"Some things never change bro." Happy shrugged. "I was way outta line last night. To you and Dee."

"You were, but right now I'm gonna put it down to the drink and let it go. You got any idea where Dee has gone?"

"No. She left a note, said she aint gonna tell me. I've really fucked up this time Quinn."

"So what was it? Accusing her of fucking me, or pushing her around?"

"Both."

Quinn nodded and picked up a photograph. It had been taken in their back yard, a party or something. Their were several sons in the picture as well as Happy, Dee and Lacy. Everyone was looking at something out of shot and laughing. All except Dee. She was looking at her old man, her expression, full of love. "That look like someone who was going to fuck around?" He dropped it into Happy's lap. "You can deal with your own shit. I aint here to go over old ground."

"So why are you here?"

"Dixon."

Immediately Happy straightened up. Carefully, he put everything back in the box and replaced the lid. "You found him?"

"Think so. Got Wolf and Big Joe checking our source, should know for sure in the next couple of days. Do I need to ask if you want in on this?"

Happy raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. He knew that, despite the months that had passed since finding out he was still alive and his involvement in the events leading to Lacy's death, the Nomads and Canadian sons were still looking. Dixon was smart and knew how they operated, sooner or later though he would surface, and when he did, they would find him. "Aint gonna be satisfied till that fucker's in the ground."

"Be ready to move in the next few days. According to the information we've been given he's got a cabin just north of Calgary. He was seen in a bar near there flashing his ink. Lucky for us the owner is a friend of the club and was suspicious. It's unusual to see a lone son out that way, especially in winter."

Happy nodded, the more isolated roads could be treacherous in winter and it was safer to ride with your brothers. "How sure are you that it's Dixon?"

"Pretty sure. He fits the description." Quinn stood up. "I'll call you as soon as I get word. Stay sober and clean this shit up."

"Okay. Hey man, I appreciate this. Especially after everything."

"Aint gonna deny you the chance to finish Dixon. Don't mean I aint gonna want satisfaction in the ring though. You disrespected me in front of my brothers, you need to answer for that." He grinned. "I can wait to kick your stupid ass, but trust me Hap. It will happen."

Less than a week later, Happy and Quinn had crossed the border and were pulling onto the lot of a bar and grill just north west of Calgary. They would be staying the night there and meeting up with two local sons in the morning. Both were cold and exhausted after spending over thirteen hours on the road and were looking forward to a beer and a comfortable bed. "Quinn!" A buxom brunette ran over and threw herself into his arms. Happy rolled his eyes, he swore there wasn't a bar on the continent that the nomad wasn't known in. "I haven't seen you for ages. I heard you'd been shot up real bad."

"Nah, just a little bullet. You know me darling, I'm a tough fucker." He kissed her roughly. "How about we go out back and I'll show you my scar."

Shaking his head Happy leaned on the bar and ordered a beer. "Hey baby." He turned as a blonde sidled up to him. "Want some company?"

"Nah, maybe later." He turned back, ignoring her. Dee may have run out on him, but as far as he was concerned they were still together and he had promised not to cheat. He may have been an asshole, but Happy always kept his word.

The following morning, as they tucked into a huge breakfast, Happy watched as their new companions strutted across the room towards them. They were identical, and huge, bigger even than Quinn. For the first time in his life, Happy felt positively puny.

Quinn stood and hugged the two men before making the introductions. "Hap, this is Pete and Jim. The psycho twins. Twins, this is Happy."

Pete laughed, a huge booming sound. "The Tacoma killer. Pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Happy smirked. It felt good that his reputation preceded him. "Quinn tells me you found where this asshole is hiding out."

"Yeah. It's well hidden, off the grid. Aint no way we'll get any vehicle up there without being rumbled. Only option is to approach on foot." He turned to Quinn. "Your leg gonna hold up? It's pretty rough terrain."

"Yeah it's as good as new." Jim (or Pete, Hap couldn't tell) frowned but said nothing. Quinn might look fine to the untrained eye, but he and his brother were hunters. They could stalk their prey for days and could spot any weakness no matter how well it was hidden.

Dixon was a lot of things, but he wasn't stupid. The cabin was exactly what Happy would have chosen. It was set well back from the road and the track leading to the front was across open ground, even on foot it would be impossible to approach without being spotted. The other three sides were surrounded by woodland making impossible for a vehicle to get through. It was, however possible to get through on foot. Difficult, but not impossible. To the rear and on one side the trees and undergrowth were dense, but to the right they were more sparse as the ground became rockier and the ascent to the cabin, more steep.

Happy stopped and waited for Quinn to catch up. The psycho twins had been right, this was heavy going, even if you were one hundred percent fit, and his brother was never going to be that again. "You need to take a rest bro?"

"Nah I'm good." Quinn gritted his teeth as he fought to keep up.

Ignoring how cold and wet it was on his ass, Happy sat on a log and lit a cigarette. "Take a break, man. You're no use to me if you cant walk."

Quinn sat down and took the lit cigarette from him. "Guess I aint as fit as I thought I was. Mind you, if it wasn't for your old lady I wouldn't be walking at all."

Happy scowled. Now was not the time to talk about Dee. "Yeah I know, she's amazing an' I fucked up. I aint heard nothing else from anyone all week."

"That's cos she is an' you did. An' when this is done you are gonna do what ever it takes to find her and get her back."

"You gonna help me?"

"And get it thrown back in my face? No, not this time. This time, Hap, you're on own." He shifted and stretched his leg. "We better get moving, the twins aint gonna wait for ever."

Stealthily, they approached the house. Dixon was in the lounge, watching the TV with the volume turned up high and didn't hear as Quinn popped the lock on the kitchen door. He spun round as a floor board creaked and reached for his gun. "Too late motherfucker." Happy pressed the muzzle of his Glock against his temple and squeezed the trigger.

Quinn looked around. "Think it might be a good idea to dump him out back and clean up a bit. Don't need this coming back and biting the club."

This was something they were well practiced in. Despite the ground being pretty hard Quinn managed to dig a shallow grave while Happy got to work with a blow torch burning off the ink and finger prints and smashing his teeth with a sledge hammer. In truth, it would be unlikely that his body would be found, simply because no one would be looking. But the reason Happy and Quinn had stayed out of jail was that they were never complacent. And sure enough, a couple of hours later the cabin was scrubbed clean, there was no evidence of either them or Dixon ever having been there and they were driving to a remote spot in Dixon's car to where the Psycho twins were waiting in the van.

Neither spoke as they approached the rendezvous point. Quinn watched Happy as he sat behind the wheel, his expression impassive. He didn't know why he expected anything else.

Suddenly aware of his brothers scrutiny, Happy turned and gave the smallest of smiles. "Aint gonna burst into song, if that's what you're waiting for."

* * *

The apartment was small, and the baby next door never seemed to stop screaming. But it was cheap and it was far enough away from any charters that Dee didn't feel the need to dive into the nearest alleyway at the sound of a Harley. She sat on the balcony enjoying the California sun and watched as the kids down below kicked a ball around. She opened her cell and listened the message for what felt like the hundredth time, just to hear his voice.

Leaving Happy might have been the right thing to do. But she missed him so very much.


	42. Chapter 42

I don't own sons of anarchy

FORTY TWO

The Mayan tied to the metal post whimpered as again Happy turned on the drill. Tig leaned nonchalantly against the barn wall. "Seems to me, that all you need to do is tell us where the guns are, and Happy here will put the drill away."

"Aint telling you shit cracker."

"Then say goodbye to your kneecaps." Tig grinned. "Take it away Hap."

"My pleasure, brother." Happy's grin as the drill bored it's way through the little Mexican's kneecap, chilled even Tig. "Ready to talk now, motherfucker?"

As soon as the screaming died down. Tig straightened up and moved closer to inspect the damage. "Gotta hand it to ya Hap, that's a fine piece of work. Hey." He slapped the bound man back into consciousness. "Now between you an' me. My brother has had a bit of a rough time recently, it's kinda skewed his head. It really don't bother him whether you talk or not, he's just having fun with his new toy. Now at the moment you still got one functioning leg, but if you don't start talking right now, I'm gonna give that sick son of a bitch the word, an' I aint sure that once he starts he's gonna stop."

"Okay." it was barely a whisper. "The guns…..Disused meat packing plant south of Lodi."

"There now, that wasn't so difficult was it?" He looked over to where Happy was standing, watching the exchange intently. "Hap. Call Clay, tell him what we know."

Happy nodded and flipping open his pre pay made the call. He had to admit Tig had a point. Something was skewed in his brain. He'd always been able to kill and maim to order. He wasn't sure what it was that he had that others lacked. He was pretty sure it was more than just a strong stomach. What he did know though that he had never got any real pleasure out of hurting people, it was just necessary. A dirty job, and someone had to do it. Now though. Now things were different. The only thing that lifted the fog of indifference that had settled over him were the screams of his victims or the recoil of his gun. Nothing else worked. Not fucking faceless whores, not the feeling of his bike under him, not even his brothers.

His kid was dead and his old lady was gone. And all he felt was nothing.

After killing Dixon, he had been determined to find Dee and win her back, but it seemed she was always one step ahead of him. He, well Juice, had found out that she was living in LA but when he got to the address, she had gone, and since then, she seemed to have vanished. All he knew was that she had stayed in touch with his ma, and that she was alive and well. If his ma knew where she was, she wasn't saying.

For three months he had looked before admitting defeat. Dee didn't want to be found and he had to respect that, even if it had ripped him apart.

Their big old house had a 'for sale' sign outside. It was too big, and there were too many ghosts. He had left word with his ma about his plans, and according to her, Dee was okay with it.

He threw his cigarette on the ground and walked back into the barn. "Clay's getting it checked out, he said to keep our little friend here alive, till we know what's going on."

Tig nodded and duck taped the Mayan's mouth. "Hope for your sake you aint lying. Cos if you are, a hole in your kneecap will be the least of your worries." He turned back to Happy. "Might as well leave him here and go get a drink at the clubhouse. Gonna be a while till we get conformation on the intel, and our little brown buddy aint going anywhere." Happy nodded and collected together his stuff and put it into his duffle bag.

As Tig checked the Mayan's bindings, he watched his brother. Like everyone close to Happy, he was aware of everything that had happened, and had been on the sharp end of the fallout that had followed on several occasions. He loved Happy, they were both second generation sons, and were rapidly becoming usurped by younger members. Tig for some reason felt this more than many of his contemporaries and seeing his brother drifting away worried him. There had been times over the last few months that he had come dangerously close to losing his patch. Not only had his head not been in the game, but he had been picking fights with everyone from prospects to presidents. Although, now he'd calmed down, Tig couldn't help but feel that the way he was now was worse. It was like there was nothing there. Just an empty shell. The only time he saw him come alive was on occasions like this, when he was torturing someone. It felt to Tig that Happy was turning into a psychopath. And he should know. "Hey bro. You got any plans after this is wrapped up?"

Happy shrugged. "Talk to Quinn again, about going nomad." He pulled on his cut and picked up his bag. "If he says no again, I'll head out east maybe. Need a change of scene."

They closed the big double doors and locked the place up. Even if their prisoner managed to cut himself loose, there would be no way he could get out. Happy frowned as he swung his leg over his bike and waited while Tig gave instructions to the prospect sitting in the van. He knew what his brother was angling at. He had been one of the most vocal about him going and tracking down Dee. As far as the SAA was concerned Happy needed her and she should be at his side supporting him, not taking to the hills when the going got rough. Maybe he was right. But the fact was, he didn't know where she was. And if he found her and dragged her back to Tacoma, then what? There was no way she still loved him. He had destroyed that.

* * *

Dee threw her bag on the bed and slumped down next to it with a sigh. After an ten hour shift at the local seven eleven, her feet were killing her. How did it ever come to this? Living in a shitty little studio, doing a shitty little job and a shitty little town in Upstate New York. Even after five months away from Happy, the pain of separation was still acute. Not a night went by that she didn't lay awake wishing he was next to her. She knew from Yvonne that he'd been looking for her and that he always asked about her when he called. Maybe she had been too hasty. No, she knew she hadn't. There had been something… When he had grabbed her, a look in his eye. He'd scared her and he knew it. But it wasn't just that, he'd scared her before when he'd lost his temper, but as soon as he realized, he had backed off. That last time however, he hadn't. In fact, the last time she'd seen someone look at her like that, it was just before her ex had tried to strangle her. She still loved Happy, she always would. But she would never put herself in that situation again. Especially now.

* * *

Tig followed Happy through the clubhouse and watched as, instead of heading to the bar like he once would have, he made straight for the dorms out back. He guessed it was good that his brother was no longer drinking himself into oblivion at every opportunity, but hiding himself away from everyone didn't seem healthy either. He looked round. "Hey Juice. Over here."

Juice trotted over, that eager to please expression written all over his face. Shit he couldn't stand the little nerd. "What's up Tig?"

"How easy would it be for you to trace Hap's old lady? Say through her bank account?"

"Not easy."

"But you could?"

"If she banks online and I knew her email address, maybe I could…."

"Do you know her email address, fuckwit?"

"No."

"So the answer would be no then."

"I guess. Why do you want me to trace her? Hap said…"

"Don't give a shit what Hap wants. You traced her before, how did you do it then?"

"It was simple, she still had her cell and the same email address and we knew she was in Cali, so with a bit of fishing it was easy to come up with an address." He frowned. "I'm good, and can hack into systems given enough time. But I can't perform miracles."

"You found King."

"Yeah cos I had his bank account details, and he was careless. Dee's smart. She knew it would take time to trace her and by the time I did, she'd taken off and covered her tracks. You wanna find her, go to the feds."

"Shit." Tig ran his fingers through his hair. "Shit. I need to do something. Tell Clay… Fuck it. Tell Clay I got something needs doing. Don't let him send Hap to finish that Mayan on his own."

* * *

Yvonne sighed and poked at the food on her plate. Beth, her caregiver was a lovely girl, kind and patient. But she was a lousy cook. She looked up at the sound of a Harley pulling up outside broke the silence. She watched through the window as Tig removed his helmet and stalked towards the front door, a feeling of dread rising in her chest. Beth opened the door and led him into the lounge. Yvonne took a deep breath and waited for the news she'd dreaded for as long as she could remember. "Don't look so worried Mrs L, I aint the bringer of bad news." Tig smiled and sat on the sofa. "I need to know where Dee is. I know she keeps in touch with you, and I'm pretty sure you must have pushed her to contact Hap. Please, I'm really worried about him."

"I can't help you, Tig. I'm sorry. I've begged her to tell me where she is, but she wont tell me. All I know is she's out east, and I'm guessing from stuff she's said, she's in New York state." She sighed. "I'm worried about Happy too, but I'm scared if I put too much pressure on her she wont call any more."

"So you don't have a phone number?"

"No, she calls me and withholds her number."

Tig nodded and handed her a scrap of paper. "My number. Get her to call me. I don't care how you do it. Lie if you have to. Please, we need to get her back before Happy is lost for good."

"I'll see what I can do, but she's not stupid. I'm not sure…"

"Just try."

"Okay." She smiled. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For looking out for him."

"He's my brother, an' I love him." He stood and bending over, kissed her cheek. "Gotta keep you boy on the straight and narrow. Gotta go. Later."

"Bye Tig." She watched him climb back on his bike and disappear down the road. Her son was lucky to have so many people who cared for him, although she doubted he even noticed.


	43. Chapter 43

I don't own sons of anarchy

FORTY THREE

"Please Dee, just call him."

Dee sighed. "I'm sorry, Yvonne. If I call Tig, he's just going to try to pressure me to contact Hap. It's not going to happen, we're done. I'm not going over this with you again. Happy had his chance and he blew it."

"Then I'm sorry too. If you don't start to build bridges, we're done too."

"What? You can't do that."

"Oh yes I can, my girl. I love you like you were my own. But Happy is my son and by hiding away from him you are killing him. You've made your point, but it's time to go home."

"Made my point? Made my fucking point? Jesus! I've been slapped, pushed around. Shit. He accused me of cheating. Do you have any idea what happens to old ladies who cheat? You really think I would take off for five months just to make a point?"

"He didn't mean it Dee. He was hurting real bad and when he gets like that, he lashes out. Just give him one more chance Dee. Please."

"I'm sorry Yvonne. He scared me. Really scared me. I wont…I can't allow that to happen again."

"Then I guess there's nothing else we have to say to each other. Goodbye."

Dee stared in disbelief at the cell in her hand. "Happy's hurting, Happy needs you." That's all she'd fucking heard. What about what she needed? Her pain? None of them gave a shit about what she was going through. Least of all Happy. Family? Ha! They didn't know the meaning of the word. Flipping open her phone again, she pressed call.

"Hello?"

"Hap?"

"Dee? Oh shit Dee, I….."

"Shut up and listen. Tell Tig and who ever else thinks they can butt into my life to leave me the fuck alone. Thanks to him, your mom is no longer speaking to me."

"Dee, I had nothing to do with that. I swear. I have done what you asked and stayed away. Even if it is killing me. I miss you baby girl."

She took a deep breath. Allowing the sound of his voice to soothe her. "You know where I am, don't you?"

"Not exactly. But I yeah, I know what town you're in. I know you Dee. If you're gonna run it will be to somewhere you feel safe. As soon as ma told me you had headed out east, I figured you must be in Hudson. I remember you staying with your grandfather there when you were a kid."

"If you knew where I was, how come you didn't come looking?"

"Is that what you wanted? For me to go out there and drag you back?"

"No of course not. I just thought…"

"Thought what Dee? I might have fucked up. But I only want you here if that's where you want to be. As far as everyone is concerned I don't have any idea where to start looking for you. Figured I owed you that." He swallowed as he felt his voice falter. "How I feel about you hasn't changed. And you wanna come back to me, I will welcome you with open arms. But if you wanna stay away I'll respect that. I'll talk to ma. She'll calm down."

"Okay, thank you. Hap?"

"Yeah?"

"I never stopped loving you."

"Never stopped loving you either. I just forgot how to feel for a while."

"And now?"

"And now, talking to you. I remember."

"Do you think we could maybe meet up? Maybe somewhere neutral. I think we should talk, properly. Face to face."

"Of course. Name the time and place and I'll be there, you know that Dee."

"LA. The beach house where I stayed before. We wont be disturbed, I think we need some time. Just the two of us, you know. No distractions."

"You sure this is what you want?"

"No I'm not. But we do need to talk about…..stuff. I'll talk to my ex boss and get back to you with the details."

"Okay. So does this mean…?"

"It means we are going to talk. I don't know about anything else. I have to go. Bye."

"Bye, baby girl."

Dee hung up, suddenly aware of her heart pounding wildly. Oh God. What if she was making a huge mistake? No, she wasn't. They had to talk, she owed him that, and if she was honest, she owed it to herself as well. It may be that they really were done, that there was too much water under the bridge. She didn't know. But Happy had always been a part of her life, and she really couldn't see a future without him in it.

To Happy, it felt like the world had shifted. He slid down the barn wall and let his phone drop through his fingers. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the prospect and Chibs cut the bloody corpse of the Mexican away from the post and wrap him in a plastic sheet. He ignored his brother's call for assistance as emotions that had been buried for so long, washed over him. He didn't honestly know whether he wanted to laugh or cry. As soon as he'd heard her voice, he'd come alive. Shakily he stood up and walked towards the door. "Hey, Hap. Where the fuck d'ya think ya going?" Chips yelled at his retreating form.

"Gotta go." Offering no other explanation, he hurried outside and climbed on his bike. The noise was roaring through his head. He had to ride, had to drown it out. Dee wanted to see him and he couldn't fuck this up. Not again.

* * *

LAX was, as usual swarming with, holidaymakers, business types and families. Happy ignored them all. His eyes were fixed on the point where she would come into view, almost too scared to blink.

Suddenly she was there. Their eyes met and his grin matched hers. She was so beautiful, those huge brown eyes, her glossy black hair tied back in a high pony tail, exposing her long, swan like neck. His eyes travelled downward, following the line of the heavy silver cross that nestled just above those beautiful tits that seemed fuller than he remembered. Maybe it was the low neckline of the peasant style top that flowed over her….What the fuck was that?

In three strides, he covered she space between them. "Dee?"

She smiled coyly. "Well I did say we needed to talk."

"Dee." There was a million and one things he wanted to say to her right now, yet he couldn't think of anything.

She reached up on tip toes and kissed him on the corner of his mouth. "How about we go to the house, and we can talk then."

He nodded and taking the rucksack from her led her to his bike. Shit! Could she ride? "Are you gonna be okay on my bike?"

"Of course." She took the helmet from him. "I guess I should have given you a heads up. Huh?"

He nodded mutely and she touched his hand, before climbing on behind him. Happy had never been big on words, but she'd never seen him speechless before.

Despite his anxiety over having her on the back of his bike, Happy was glad of the fact that it made conversation was impossible. He was going to have to say something eventually, but for the life of him, he couldn't think what. It was only a short ride to the beach house and in less than an hour they were pulling up outside. His head still reeling, he followed her inside and dropped the bags on the floor. Dee turned and cocked her head slightly. "Are you going to say anything?"

He ran his hand over his head. "Is it mine?" Shit! What was wrong with him? Of all the stupid ass thing to say. "I'm sorry. Shit Dee." His eyes met hers and to his astonishment saw no anger there, just disappointment.

She sighed. "I told you before. I'm not my sister. Of course she's yours."

"She?"

"She. We're going to have a little girl." She laid her hand against his chest. "Hap?"

"Did you know?"

"When I left? No. I should have told you as soon as I found out. But you were so… I just wanted to put as much distance between us as possible while I decided what I was going to do."

"What you were going to do? Like kill it?"

"No. Never. With us. I'd never keep you away from her, but I had to be sure you wouldn't…" She looked away.

"You actually thought I'd hurt my own kid. Fuck. How could you think that?" He pushed her hair away from her face. "Did I scare you that much?"

"Yes you did. I've never seen you like that." She took a deep breath, acutely aware of how close he was to her. "If we are to move on, and try again. I have to feel safe around you."

"I love you Dee. I cant even begin to explain how I felt. There were all these emotions buzzing around inside me and I didn't know what to do with them, so I tried to lock them down. I knew I was shutting you out and I could feel you slipping away but I couldn't stop it from happening. That night. I knew that I scared you, and I liked it. How fucked up is that? I wanted to hurt you. I wanted you to feel what I felt." His hands dropped to his sides. "It's like someone flicked a switch inside my head. All I want to do now is hurt people. I'm hurting so they should too. You were right to get away from me. I'm dangerous to be around."

She took his hand and placed it on her belly. "In a little over two months we are going to have a baby daughter. I want her to have a mom and a dad, who will love her and keep her safe."

"I couldn't keep Lacy safe."

"What happened to Lacy wasn't your fault. You can't let what happened to her prevent you from loving this one. Stop punishing yourself Hap. And stop punishing everybody else."

"And if I can't?"

"Then you have to do the decent thing and stay as far away from us as possible."


	44. Chapter 44

I don't own sons of anarchy

FORTY FOUR

Happy stared at the woman in front of him. He honestly didn't think there had been a time when she had looked more beautiful. He swallowed and ran his thumb down her cheek. "I don't want to lose you Dee." Gently, he lifted her chin and kissed her softly. "I should never have let you go."

"I don't remember you having much choice." Dee stepped back. "I never wanted to leave you. Shit, I spent my whole life wanting to be with you. But it was you that told me that no one had the right to hurt me."

"Tell me what I have to do."

"Let me in, Hap. That's all I ask." Unconsciously her hands spread protectively across her belly. "Be the man I fell in love with."

"I've been an idiot, Dee. I was so wrapped up in my own shit and my head was so far up my own ass I couldn't see what I was doing to you."

"And now?"

"Had five months of realizing what a douche I'd been. Not to mention practically everyone telling me that I'd thrown away the best thing that ever happened to me. Have you any idea how much shit ma gave me?" He swallowed. "I want you back, Dee. I want this baby."

She smiled. "Sure you don't want a DNA test?"

"Ouch! Okay baby girl, I guess I deserved that. But you really telling me that in five months you haven't been with anyone else?"

"I take it by that. You have."

"Aint gonna lie to you, Dee. I thought we were done."

She shrugged. "Don't sweat it Hap. I'm not really interested in what happened when we weren't together. But if we do make a go of this, the same rules apply. This 'what happens on a run' bullshit does not apply to you. If I find out you've been fucking behind my back. I walk."

"Okay."

"You raise your hand to me or our daughter. I walk."

"Goes without saying."

"I expect you to trust me. I have never cheated on you, nor would I. If you start throwing accusations around about me and your brothers…"

"Yeah I get it. You walk. I'm sorry about what I said about you and Quinn, although I still think he'd fuck you, given half a chance, I've got eyes." He grinned. "Not that I blame him. You are one hot chick."

"Okay."

"What?"

"Okay, we'll try again." She reached up and touched his face. "Now the bedroom's through there and five months is a long time. So I suggest you get in there and get naked. Oh"

Happy picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, dropping her on the bed with a grunt. "Fuck. How pregnant did you say you were? You sure there's only one in there?"

Laughing she pulled her top off over her head, exposing her round belly. "Careful, Hap. You're still on probation. And I'm pregnant which gives me free reign to be an unreasonable hormonal bitch."

"You can be as unreasonable as you like, baby girl." He sank to his knees in front of her. "That is the hottest thing I have ever seen." Dee huffed and he laughed. "You're cooking my kid in there. It don't get sexier than that." He pulled down her leggings to reveal large, white cotton panties. "Dee, baby. I love you, and everything about you. But those have to go."

"They're comfortable." She slipped her arms around his neck. "You might think I look sexy. But I certainly don't feel it. I'm fat and sweaty, and…." He silenced her with a kiss and pushed her back so she was laying on the bed.

Climbing on next to her, he ran his hands down her body. He hadn't been lying, he could get over how beautiful she looked. Were all pregnant women this hot? Happy had no idea, certainly he didn't remember Mona looking this good, although, he guessed being pregnant whilst addicted to smack hadn't done much for her looks. Dee, though, positively glowed. He'd heard it said before but never witnessed it with his own eyes. "You're not fat. You're beautiful. Now get rid of those things." As she removed her bra and panties, he pulled off his own clothes. There had never in his entire life, been a time when he had been nervous about being with a woman, but as he watched her lay back with a salacious grin on her face, a feeling of apprehension washed over him. "It will be okay, wont it. I wont hurt the baby?"

"It will be fine." She chuckled at his expression. "How about you lay back and let me take the reins."

He grinned as she straddled him. "Sounds like a plan girl."

Happy laid back as she rode him. He loved to watch her as they fucked, her head back and eyes closed as she savoured every sensation. It was like she didn't want to miss a thing.

She felt different, if he'd been asked he wouldn't have been able to explain exactly how. She felt softer, still as wet for him as ever but now it was if her walls were thicker. He swore it was the most wonderful thing he had ever felt. "Oh fuck Dee. I can't, I gotta…. Oh shit."

Dee eased herself off his softening cock and laid next to him, her head resting on his chest. Happy ran his fingers through her hair. "Sorry, baby girl."

"Sorry? For what?"

"I wanted to last longer."

Dee laughed and kissed him on his jaw. "It's fine big man. You'll last longer next time." She sat up and with her fore finger, traced his tattoos. Halting at the new smiley face. Happy closed his eyes, he didn't want to talk about Dixon. Not now. Her finger continued it's course following the snake from it's tail to it's head, smirking as his muscles jumped under his touch. She leaned forward, her tits brushing against his chest and kissed his lips. "I'm getting hungry, Hap. I really want a Big Mac."

" Now?" She grinned and he rolled his eyes. "Just to get things straight. Am I running around after you because I still need to win you over or because you're pregnant?"

"Both." She kissed him again. "And I want fries and a shake. Oh and there's a store round the corner. We'll need milk and coffee for the morning."

As he rode the short distance to the nearest Macdonald's Happy couldn't stop the huge grin that spread across his face. Dee was pregnant. They were going to have a kid and she was going give him another chance. For the first time since Lacy had died he felt something other than rage or apathy. Deep inside himself he could feel a tiny flicker of something reigniting. Maybe, if he didn't blow it again, he could have his family back. For the first time in nearly a year, Happy felt happy.

Dee laid back on the bed and listened to the sound of the sea lapping on the beach. She smiled as her daughter kicked her and ran her hand over her belly. More than anything she hoped that things would work out for her and Happy. She'd never had any intention of keeping him away from their kid, no matter what happened between them. He'd always been great with Lacy and would be just as good with this little one too. She wasn't stupid and she knew they would have some hurdles to cross. But they could make it, if they believed what they had was worth fighting for.


	45. Chapter 45

I don't own sons of anarchy

FORTY FIVE

It hadn't taken long for Happy to start laying down the law again, although Dee felt the fact that he was doing it while painting her toenails kind of took the edge off. Prudently she refrained from pointing this out as he told her how she wouldn't be flying out east to collect her stuff. They could put the key in an envelope and send it to Samyork. One of their prospects would get her stuff and clear the place out. After all, that was what prospects were there for. She wasn't going to argue, at seven months pregnant, sitting on a plane for over six hours wasn't a whole lot of fun, and there wasn't much there anyway. Just a few clothes that could easily be replaced.

She wouldn't be riding to Tacoma on his bike either. She could fly to Seattle and someone could pick her up from the airport. If he noticed her lack of objections to all this, he wasn't saying. Dee smiled and examined the toes on her right foot. She had already made up her mind that she would be flying to Tacoma, but she let Happy think it was his idea. It was important to him to feel he had some level of control in this relationship, even if it was an illusion.

He looked up and frowned. "Why aint you arguing with me?"

"Because I think you're right."

"Okay." He fell silent as he concentrated on painting the toenail on her little toe. "Dunno why you want this doing, it's going to be freezing in Tacoma."

"I need to be prepared."

"For what?"

"In case I go into labour early. I don't want skanky feet."

"That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If you go into labour early, the last thing you will be worrying about is your feet."

"Well I wont now." She wiggled her toes. "Thank you. You have no idea what it's like not to be able to reach your toes."

"Glad to be of service." He pushed her legs off his lap and, yawning, stood up and stretched till his joints popped. "Would it be too much to ask if you could drag your pregnant ass into the kitchen and fix your man some lunch."

She held out her hands and he pulled her to her feet. "You got it, big man." She reached up and kissed him. "But first I need to book my flight to Tacoma. I want to get back as quickly as possible."

"I thought you wanted to spend some time alone with me."

"I do. But we have to get the house taken off the market, we need to get stuff for the baby, and no doubt it's been pretty much standing empty, so it will need a good clean. And I need to sort out anti natal classes, an obstetrician…."

Happy silenced her with a kiss. "Dee, relax. Everything will be sorted."

"I know, but…"

"Everything's cool. You make lunch, and I'll book your flight."

* * *

Happy was right about Tacoma being freezing. Dee shivered as she climbed out of Yaz's car and made her way across the lot to the clubhouse.

"Dee!"

She turned to where Quinn was working on his bike. "Hey." She would have loved to run over and hug him like she always had, but was acutely aware of Yaz's eyes on her. She knew how it worked. Hap had accused her and Quinn of fucking behind his back. Things maybe okay between the three of them now, but there would always be those that would have their doubts. The ones that would whisper that there was no smoke without fire.

Quinn of course, didn't give a shit. He dropped his tools and stalked over to her, a huge grin on his face. "Hey darling." He kissed her fully on the lips, ignoring Yaz's raised eyebrow. "You got fat."

"Thanks Rane. You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself."

"Part of my charm." He took her arm and led her towards the clubhouse. "Hap should be here by midnight. He told me to keep you occupied here till he arrives. He don't want you going to the house on your own."

"That's ridiculous. I need to make a start on cleaning the place."

Quinn chuckled. "Which is exactly why he wants you to wait here. C'mon, lets get inside in the warm."

Once inside, he led her to the ratty old sofa in the corner and sat down, stretching his left leg out with a wince. Dee frowned and sat down next to him. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Aches a bit in cold weather is all." He touched her cheek. "What about you? You an' Hap okay?"

"I think so. The last few days have been great. Just him and me with no distractions." She sighed. "I know he's trying, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared."

"Oh, I think he's learnt his lesson, sweetheart. He was completely broken when you left for the second time. I aint ever seen him like that. Not even after Lacy died. I know he aint exactly the caring and sharing type. But with you gone, he was like a dead man walking. Reckon it was only a matter of time before he put himself in the way of a bullet or an eighteen wheeler."

"Don't Rane. I don't need to hear this."

"Yes you do. Told you before, that ink lasts for ever. When you agreed to put his mark on you, you became his property. You don't get to decide when your done. He does." He stared out across the empty clubhouse. "An old lady stands by her man and supports him."

"Happy would never force me to stay with him."

"No he wouldn't. It aint his way. Don't mean he don't need you though."

"And me, Rane? What about what I need?" She turned and looked at him. "All I've heard since Lacy died is what Happy needs."

"That aint true. I will always be in your corner. I love Happy, but he's an idiot. He took you for granted. Twice. You are the best thing to ever happen to him. And I will do my best to make him see that." He grinned. "You gotta stop running, Dee. You belong here, with Hap. With us."

She smiled and touched his hand. "I missed you, Rane."

"I missed you too, little girl." He looked over to where a prospect was wiping down the bar. "You hungry? I can send the grunt out for something."

Dee yawned. "No I'm good." She frowned as she looked around. "Where is everyone?"

"On a run. Would've gone with them but Hap asked me to stay here with you." He frowned as she yawned again. "You tired?"

"A bit. Was up early, and I didn't sleep too well last night."

Pulling out a key he stood and held out his hand to her. "C'mon, you can use my dorm, get your head down for a bit. Don't worry, it's not too disgusting."

With her hand in his she allowed him to lead her to the dorm. She could feel Yaz's eyes boring into her back as she walked. Jesus, did she really think they would be fucking right under her nose? He unlocked the door and stood to one side as she walked inside. "I'll be outside working on my bike if you need me." He kissed her forehead and turning on his heel, walked back through the clubhouse.

Dee closed the door and laid on the bed with her eyes closed. She hadn't been lying when she told Quinn she was scared. She knew that she loved Happy, and that he loved her. But she didn't know if she was strong enough to hold the whole thing together. Despite his reassurances that he would try to open up to her, Happy had difficulty expressing him self at the best of times, in fact the only person he'd ever been completely open with was Lacy. She sighed as she allowed her tiredness to overwhelm her. She was just going to have to trust him to want this badly enough to change the habits of a lifetime.

She had no idea how long she'd been asleep when she felt the bed dip. "Hey little girl. There's a cheeseburger on the bar with your name on it."

"Ugh, Rane. How long have I been asleep?"

"Couple of hours. Thought it best to wake you while the food's still hot. C'mon fatso, shake that ass. You're eating for two now."

"Happy told you to make sure I eat, didn't he." She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "He's obsessed with feeding me."

"He wants to take care of you. You shouldn't be doing this on your own." He pulled her to her feet and frowned as she took a sharp intake of breath. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Dee laughed. "Baby kicked me. I think it's the sound of your voice." She took his hand and laid it on her belly, chuckling as his eyes widened.

"Shit, kid can pack a punch. Does it hurt?"

"Not really. Just feels weird. She's pretty active and noises set her off." She grinned. "So does this burger come with fries?"

"Sure it does. C'mon lets get in there before they go cold."

It would be another six hours at least before Happy got back. So after they had finished their food and when it became clear that whining at Quinn wasn't going to get her a ride home, Dee settled down next to him on the sofa to watch TV.

At some point Yaz must have gone home so they pretty much had the place to themselves. The prospect was around somewhere and a couple of despondent looking sweet butts hung around the bar. Dee shifted, trying to get comfortable, she was still pretty tired and would have liked to have rested her head on Quinn and got some sleep, but she didn't like the way those girls were watching them and she was pretty sure they would waste no time in letting everyone know cozy they were getting.

You okay?" Quinn put him arm around her shoulder. "Why so tense?"

"I dunno. I guess I don't want to be accused of cheating again."

Quinn chuckled. "You do know that the reason Hap asked me to keep my eye on you while you were here is his way of apologizing? He should have trusted you. Hell, he should have trusted me too. I don't give a shit what those whores over there think and neither should you. You've done nothing wrong. I kissed you, not the other way round. I wasn't pushing up on you. I know better than to hit on a brother's woman. I just needed you to realize that you and Hap weren't done." He grinned. "Probably not the smartest move I've ever made, but I've never been very smart."

"Oh, I think your smarter than you let on." She allowed him to pull her close and closed her eyes. "Rane?"

"Yeah?"

"When this baby comes, will you be her godfather?"

"Of course. Shit, I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

When Happy finally arrived, cold, wet and exhausted, they were both asleep. Quinn with his legs outstretched on the coffee table and Dee laid on the sofa with her head on his lap. Shaking his head he slipped behind the bar and poured himself a large Jack, before heading over to them.

"Hey." He touched her shoulder, grinning as her eyes blinked open. "You do know there are rooms with beds back there?"

"I know." Rubbing her eyes, Dee sat up. "I wanted to wait up for you." She stood and slipped her arms under his cut. "Shit Hap. You're soaking."

"Yep. Maybe we should go out back and get me outta these wet clothes."

"We could. But I'd rather go home."

"Okay." He turned and heading back behind the bar, grabbed the keys to the van. He grinned as Quinn opened his eyes. "Hey bro. Thanks for taking care of my girl. I'll see you in the morning. I'm taking her home."


	46. Chapter 46

I don't own sons of anarchy

FORTY SIX

"Shit, Hap. What happened to the furniture?"

"I, er, kinda flipped when you took off. Smashed the place up a bit."

"A bit? Fuck, Hap. The place is empty. Didn't it occur to you to replace anything?"

"Didn't seem any point. You'd left. Place wasn't a home anymore. I just wanted it gone." He shrugged. "Didn't expect another chance. I swear, Dee. I'll never let you down again."

Dee didn't answer. Instead she turned and slipped her arms around his waist. She knew he meant what he said, but whether he would be able to keep his promise. That was something else. Happy pressed his lips to the top of her head. "I had the grunt come in and clean the place up. All you need do is order what ever you want for the place."

"Can we afford it?"

"Been taking a lot of jobs recently. Use whatever's in the safe."

* * *

If happy had thought that by having the place already cleaned up and enough cash to replace everything that he's smashed up twice over, his old lady was going to kick back and relax, he was very much mistaken. Dee's hormones and nesting instincts were in overdrive, he was beginning to wonder where his easy going old lady had gone. She insisted on cleaning the house from top to bottom, just in case the prospect hadn't done it properly. And, if the compulsive cleaning wasn't bad enough, there was the mood swings to contend with. When she wasn't crying, she was yelling. On the plus side she was horny as hell. Unfortunately, Happy felt he was taking his life into his hands every time he tried to touch her. He had no idea if she wanted to fuck him or kill him. The first time he had came home and found her in tears, he'd freaked out.

"Baby, what's the matter?" He wrapped his arms around his sobbing old lady.

"I put a pair of red panties in the white wash and now your t-shirts are pink." She sniffed. "Why are you laughing?"

"It aint exactly the end of the world is it?"

"But I've ruined them. I'm useless. I can't get anything right." Her sobbing intensified. "I'm a useless old lady."

Happy was completely at a loss. His instinct for self preservation was telling him that saying the wrong thing now, could be bad for him. Very bad indeed. Wisely, he decided to say nothing, choosing instead to hold her in his arms until she calmed down.

Over the next few weeks, he learned to tread carefully, accepting that normal, rational Dee could walk into the kitchen and crying, psycho Dee would walk out.

Despite this, she ensured their house was refurnished, the nursery was ready for their daughter's arrival and was having regular checkups at the anti natal clinic. Happy no longer accepted jobs that would take him away from home. His old lady might be crazy but he was staying close at hand as they prepared for the big day.

Sometimes they would go to the clubhouse, or have Sunday lunch with Lorca and Yaz and gradually Happy's brothers and old ladies started to drop by, and once again their home was filled with laughter and love. He still missed Lacy, they both did. But now he found himself accepting what had happened. The anger that had burned inside him was still smoldering and sometimes he would have to go for a ride for a few hours to restore his equilibrium, but he felt calmer now, less afraid to share his feelings. As Dee neared the end of her pregnancy, he began to feel optimistic about the future again.

As they headed into summer Dee became increasingly impatient. She was too fat, and something weird had happened to her brain. She would forget why she had gone to the store or put something down and immediately lose it. It felt like her brain had turned to mush. Happy of course had told her to relax. She was doing fine. Her response hadn't been reasonable, she knew that. Neither the yelling or the bursting into tears, but she couldn't help it. She was beginning to hate this, she just didn't feel like her any more, and now she was over a week over due and her back had been aching for three days and there were weeds growing on the driveway, and Happy hadn't done anything about it, and the delivery man was late with the new garden furniture, and … OH!

"Hap. Phone." Dan waddled over to where Happy was stripping down an old Fatboy. "It's your old lady."

Wiping his hands he walked to the office. "Dee?"

"You didn't answer your cell."

"I'm sorry baby, it's noisy here, I didn't hear it. What's up?" He braced himself for the latest crisis. The last time she'd called had been less than four hours ago, in tears because she couldn't get the top off a pickle jar. He'd tried to explain that he couldn't just drop everything and run home for the least little thing. And no he wasn't a complete asshole or a selfish piece of shit. At least she wasn't crying this time.

"I need you to come home. I'm having contractions."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm fucking sure. Just get home now."

"Okay baby, relax remember to breathe. I'm on my way."

"Don't fucking tell me to relax I….Ooooohooow! Shit, fuck. Hap!"

"I'll be there in five." He ran out of the office. "Dan, I gotta go. Dee's in labor."

"About time. Good luck, man."

Dee was pacing up and down the lounge when he arrived. "Hey baby." He gently touched her cheek. "So this is it huh? Have I got time to shower."

She nodded. Calmer now he was with her. "They're pretty far apart. I just didn't want to be on my own." She rested her forehead on his chest. "I'm kinda scared."

"Course you are baby. It'll be fine. We're having a kid, it don't get better than that."

"But it's gonna hurt. What if I can't do it?"

"Don't see that you got much choice. She's coming whether you like it or not."

"Big help, you are. All you gotta do is sit and watch. I'm doing all the work." She gasped as she was hit by another contraction.

"S'okay girl. I got ya." Happy swallowed the feeling of panic that was rising in his throat. "You're doing fine." As soon as the contraction subsided, he gently pushed her away from him. "I'm gonna take a quick shower. You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah." She gave him a shaky smile. "Go."

Happy leaned on the door frame and watched as the nurse settled Dee onto the bed. He'd wanted to take her to the hospital straight away, but she'd refused. This of course had freaked him out a little he didn't want her giving birth on the kitchen floor. Calling Yaz for back up hadn't helped either. She'd agreed with his old lady and had come over to lend moral support. He didn't think there had ever been a time when he had felt so useless. Everything he said was wrong and if it wasn't Dee snapping his head off it was Yaz.

Eventually though, as her contractions grew closer together and increased in their intensity, she finally agreed to go.

As soon as the midwife had finished doing what it was she was doing, he sat on the chair next to the bed and took her hand in his. This was really it. They were going to have a baby.

No one understood better than Happy, the capacity of the human body to withstand pain. But as he watched his old lady, bathed in sweat, panting through her latest contraction, he had to resist the urge to beg the midwife to give her something to make it stop. He knew she was tough, but he'd seen hardened one percenters crack under less. Never again would he view women as the weaker sex. He winced as her nails dug into his hand. "You're doing great."

"Shut up. I hate you. If you think I'm ever letting you near me again you are very much mistaken. This is all your fault. You and that big fat cock of yooooour's."

"Now Mrs Miller. You know you don't mean that." The midwife looked up from whatever it was she was doing between Dee's legs. "Now, when the next contraction starts, I want you to start to push."

"I caaaaan't arrrgh."

Happy gritted his teeth as the pain in the back of his hand increased. "That's it. Good girl. Push."

The midwife smiled. "Okay, I can see her head. A couple more pushes like that and she'll be with us."

She was going to die. Happy was sure of it. No one could go through what she was going through and survive. Why was the midwife smiling? Where was the fucking obstetrician? He was going to lose her. He could feel the panic building inside him and fought to keep it under control, when suddenly there was a loud wail.

He watched in awe as the midwife handed the tiny bundle to Dee. "All present and correct. Say hello to your daughter."

She was tiny, red and bore more than a passing resemblance to a prune. But as Happy ran his finger across the black fuzz on the top of her head, he knew she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever set eyes on. "Hey little one." He turned to Dee, who was watching them with tears streaming down her cheeks. "She's beautiful. Thank you."

"She is. I guess we should think about what we are going to call her."

He smiled. "Abigail."

"Abigail. Yeah I like that. Any particular reason why?"

"It means father's joy." He grinned as the latest addition to their family opened her eyes at the sound of his voice, that tiny spark flared deep inside him and his heart was filled with light.

THE END.

* * *

**You see. I can give them a happy ending.**

**Many thanks to every one who has read and reviewed.**

**I will add an epilogue, and maybe Happy and Dee will crop up again in other stuff I write. But please don't expect another sequel. After all I might get bored and you wouldn't want me to kill them, would you.**


	47. Chapter 47

Okay folks, so this is really it. Time to say goodbye to Happy and Dee. They have had a pretty rough ride and I think it's time for my muse to leave them alone and concentrate on someone else.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing, and of course a special thanks to the ladies of the freak circle. For the support, the laughs, and well… Everything.

I don't own sons of anarchy

EPILOGUE

It never got old. As he pushed open the toy store doors, Quinn smirked as parents pulled their children closer. What the fuck did they think he was going to do? Rip off their heads and eat them? In all honesty there was a hundred places he's rather be than here, surrounded by screaming kids, paranoid parents and garish boxes containing fuck knows what. Gritting his teeth, he walked slowly to the area where the predominant colour was pink.

"Can I help you?"

He turned and looked down at the girl standing behind him. She was short with spiky blonde hair that looked like she spent a lot of time running her fingers through.

"Need a present for my goddaughter."

"Okay. How old is she?"

"She was four a month ago." He looked over to the rows of dolls and teddies. "I aint buying her any of that shit."

The girl. He squinted at her name badge, Helen, wrinkled her nose. "What does she like doing?"

"Running around like a crazy person." He grinned. "Kid never sits still. Into everything, drives everyone nuts."

She laughed. It was a nice laugh. "That's actually not that helpful. Maybe I'll leave you to browse."

"No." He couldn't quite keep the panic from his voice. "If I buy the wrong thing, she'll get all pissy or cry or some shit."

"Okay. So apart from running around like a crazy person. What does she enjoy doing?"

"She likes helping her dad fix his bike, maybe I could get her a tool kit. Something that wont damage the paintwork." He chuckled. "He weren't too impressed when she dragged a screwdriver along the tank."

She smiled prettily. "Follow me." As she led him away from the sea of pink towards less freaky toys, Quinn couldn't help but admire the way her hips swayed and her cute little ass in the tight black jeans she was wearing. She picked up a little red toolbox and opened it up. Inside were remarkably realistic looking screwdrivers, spanners, and even a little saw. "How about this?"

He grinned. "Perfect."

It was two hours later when he turned down Hap and Dee's long winding driveway and parked next to the row of bikes there. He had barely dismounted when Abigail came cannoning towards him. "Uncle Rane!"

Laughing he picked her up and kissed her on the cheek. "Hey Princess."

"I'm not a princess." She scowled and for a moment looked freakishly like Happy. "Princesses are stupid."

"Okay, not a princess. What are you then?"

"I'm a son." She glared, daring him to defy her.

"Whatever Abs. You gonna let me put you down so I can get your present off my bike?"

"You got me a present? it's not my birthday you know."

"Yes, I know prin…Abs. But I was away and missed it." He handed her the bag and she looked inside. "A toolkit, like daddy's. Thank you uncle Rane."

"You're welcome." He picked her up again and sat her on his hip. "So where is everyone?"

"Mom's in the kitchen and everyone else is out back watching Daddy light the motherfucking barbecue."

Quinn tried to hide his grin. "Abigail Lowman. What have you been told about saying words like that."

"Daddy says it. So do you. I've heard you."

"Abigail."

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Little girls are not allowed to say cuss words." She stuck out her bottom lip. "S'not fair."

"Life's not fair Abs. C'mon, let's go say hi to your mom."

Dee turned as they walked into the kitchen and wiping her hands, walked over and kissed Quinn on the cheek. "Hey."

He grinned and gently laid his hand on her rounded belly. "Hey, fatso. How's my boy coming on?"

"I've got a feeling I'm going to be a soccer mom."

"And you?"

"I'm doing great. Hap will probably tell you different though."

He put Abigail down and leaned against the counter, watching her as she ran out back clutching her toolbox. He shifted, taking the weight off his aching leg. "She gets more like Hap every day."

"I know. She's decided she wants to be a son."

"Yeah, she told me. I've got a horrible feeling they'll have to rewrite the rules to accommodate her. That one doesn't take no for an answer."

"No she doesn't." Dee fell silent for a moment, and looked up at him. "Hap's been talking about gong nomad. He could earn more and support his mom now that she's gone into a home."

"I know. I'm guessing you aint keen on the idea."

She shook her head. "He says he'll wait till after this one is born. And I'll get as much help and support I need from the club." She gave a tiny smile. "You could always say no, Rane."

"Sorry, little girl. We both know that aint gonna happen. Hap's a natural nomad. I aint getting any younger, and I need people like him watching my back." He straightened up and pulled her into his arms. "It wont be forever and I'll watch out for him."

"I know." She sighed. "He thinks we should move to Charming."

"And what do you think?"

"It makes sense. It's a great place for kids to grow up in and we'd be nearer to Yvonne. I've still got a couple of months to think about it." She pushed herself away from him and grabbed a couple of salad bowls. "Here. Can you take these outside? Hap's.."

"Trying to light the motherfucking barbecue. I know, Abi told me."

"Oh good grief. She starts school in September. I dread to think what they'll make of her."

She grabbed a pile of paper plates and they headed outside to where his brothers and their families were gathered.

Quinn put the bowls on the long trestle table and sat on a garden bench, enjoying the sun as it warmed his aching muscles and watching as Hap's kid, assisted by Kozic, tried to saw off Greg's leg, squealing with delight when it fell, crashing to the floor. She really was her father's daughter.

He stretched his legs out in front of him. He loved his life, and truthfully never saw himself settling down. But as he watched Lorca with his arms around Yaz, Lee bouncing his youngest grandson on his knee, and Hap and Dee completely engrossed in each other, oblivious to everything going on around them, he wondered if he wasn't missing out in some way.

"Uncle Rane?" He shook himself from his reverie. "S'up Abs?" He leaned down and lifted her onto his lap.

"I love my toolkit. I chopped uncle Peg's leg off. And I'm gonna help daddy build Fatbob. He said he couldn't wait."

"I bet he did."

She grinned. "He called you a bad word. He said you were a…."

"I get it." He looked over to the barbecue. "Looks like the food's ready. Wanna help me get some food?"

"Okay." She slid off his lap and waited for him to get to his feet before trotting over to the table. She turned and rolled her eyes impatiently. "Come on, uncle Rane. I'm starving an' uncle Koz is a greedy mo…" She stopped herself and grinned, showing her dimples. "Come ON. He'll eat all the burgers."

The afternoon had been full of love and laughter. This was a side of the sons that outsiders rarely saw, the strong sense of family that pervaded everything they did. As evening wore on and people started to drift away Quinn found himself in the lounge, sitting with his goddaughter on his lap, her head leaning on his chest, eyelids drooping and thumb stuck firmly in her mouth, watching Dora the explorer. "Uncle Rane?"

"S'up Abs?"

"Are you staying tonight?"

"Sure."

"Good. Will you put me to bed an' read me a story?"

"You really need to ask?"

She shrugged and snuggled even closer. "Uncle Rane?"

"Yes princess. Sorry Abigail."

"If daddy be's a nomad, will he be away all the time like you an' uncle Peg are?"

"Who told you he was going to be a nomad?"

"I heard him and mommy. Mommy cried."

Shit, he didn't need to hear this. "Daddy will only be nomad for a while and you will see much more of him than you do of me."

"You promise?"

"I promise. Your dad loves you and your mom very much. He will be with you as much as he can."

"Okay." She sighed and traced the ink on his arms with her forefinger. "I love you uncle Rane."

"I love you too. Now how about I take you up to bed."

"I aint tired."

"Sure you aint."

* * *

Hap leaned on the door frame, his arms wrapped round his old lady. "Do you think we should wake him up?"

Dee looked over to where Quinn was laying on Abigail's bed. The open book on his chest and their daughter resting her head against his shoulder. "Nah. Leave him where he is. If he wakes up, so will Abs. Then we'll never get her back to sleep." She turned and kissed him softly. "Now I suggest as you and Rane are leaving in the morning, we should have an early night."

Taking her face in his hands, Happy deepened the kiss. "Sounds like a plan."

She was so beautiful. Happy ran his hand down her body. Across her lovely full tits, down over her rounded belly, halting as he felt his son kick. "Settle down, son." He leant over and kissed the spot. "Stop beating on your mom." his hand continued it's journey downward, sliding between her thighs and between her folds, his thumb rubbing against her clit. As soon as she felt his feather light touch, she gasped and her body arched. He grinned. "Horny little bitch. You want more?"

"Mmmm yeah, more." She moved against him. "Faster Hap."

Grinning he moved his hand a little faster and pressed a little harder. "Like that?"

"Mmmmm. Hap." She rolled onto her side and kissed him, nipping at his bottom lip. "Get on the floor on your knees."

"You ordering me around woman?"

"Haaap pleeeease."

Grinning he did as she asked and she shuffled to the edge of the bed. Slowly, teasingly, he entered her. She tilted her pelvis and started grinding against him. Happy started to move, picking up his speed and thrust deeper inside her. Moaning, Dee threw back her head as her climax began to build Happy groaned. "Shit girl, you feel so good." Grabbing her hair, he pulled her head forward and kissed her roughly as her walls tightened around him and she came, sobbing in his arms, closely followed by him.

Later, as he lay next to her stroking her hair, he marvelled that still, after seven years, she cried when he fucked her. More astonishing was the fact that he was genuinely not interested in other women. None would ever measure up to his girl.

* * *

Quinn sat astride his Harley and watched as Happy said goodbye to his girls. It was a straight forward protection run, accompanying a truck across the border and they would only be gone a couple of days. He understood that his brother wanted to stay close to home, Dee was carrying his kid and he didn't want her to be alone. She looked over and their eyes met. "It's okay little girl, I got your man's back."

She smiled. "I know. You always have."

* * *

Mr Jolly's Toy store wasn't the most exciting place to work, but the hours were good and she was her own boss. Helen sighed as she flipped the sign to open. In four days time she would be thirty five and it was she was no nearer to being an international rock star than she was at eighteen. She did sing in a local bar on Saturday nights, but she was hardly setting the world on fire. At least now her folks had retired, she got to run the store how she pleased, although what she'd really have liked to do was sell it and see the world. She looked up as she sound of Harleys filled the morning air and watched as the biker that had come in the day before and his companion rode by. As they drew level, he looked over and raised his hand with a smile. Helen returned the gesture before turning and heading into the shop. He really did have a nice smile…

THE END?


End file.
